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"I swear by my
life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another
man, nor ask another man to live for mine."
Get
on board!!!!
This
is our
candidate, fellow
Shovelers! Get
behind him!
Lawsuit of the Day: Greer v.
1-800-Flowers
If you're a
married man planning on sending flowers to your mistress, we have a tip for
you: do NOT use
1-800-FLOWERS
(as if you needed to be told).
Breach of contract action in which the defendants agreed
to keep the plaintiff's order of flowers for his
girlfriend private, with no record of the transaction
mailed to him at his home or office.
Months later, the defendants sent a thank you card to
the plaintiff's home, and his wife called the defendants
for proof of the purchase. The defendants faxed the
plaintiff's wife proof of his order of flowers for his
girlfriend, which resulted in a divorce being filed.
Doesn't this idiot know that if he is going to cheat he
stands a good chance of being caught by "contracting"
FTD's?
I
hope the judge slaps him in the face with a shovel!
WHAP!
'This Baby's
name is not 4real', couple told
A couple has got
over the disappointment of having their choice of 4Real as the name for
their baby son turned down by calling him Superman instead.
Pat and Sheena
Wheaton were told by the government registry in New Zealand they could not
register the name because it included a digit.
Huh? How do they
deal with Pat the 3rd or 4th?
Seems to me like
the pretentious government is using its power to insert a digit into the
hind section of every citizen who.... never mind.
Mr Wheato n
said he came up with the unlikely moniker after seeing the baby for the
first time in an ultrasound scan and realizing their baby was "for real".
However, the family
has refused to let the law or good taste get in the way of their choice,
insisting they will continue to refer to their two-month-old son as 4Real.
We wouldn't have
problems with kids names if we would just test people before allowing them
to breed.
In the meantime
they plan to officially name him Superman.
That is just great.
You guys have just insured that your kid will get the crap kicked out of him
everyday on the playground.
Think about it...
what kid isn't going to want to run around claiming, "I just beat up
Superman!"
Whap!!
'Sun-gazers' praise rays
When the sun pops above the tree line in Berkshire
Manor, few folks seem to notice.
The blinds are still closed in many of the two-story
houses. And the Alpharetta neighborhood holds onto the
last quiet that precedes the morning commute.
But one man is watching. Closely.
Barefoot and bug-eyed, Paulus Bommarito stands on a sand
path he built in his backyard just for these occasions.
I
wonder if the path was built by a silicone sister with a
manager mister?
Bommarito, who manages
his own graphic design firm, presses his palms together in front of his
chest, as if in prayer. "It's not a worship," he says, a Hawaiian shirt and
blue shorts hanging loosely from his slim frame. "It's a reverence for what
the sun does. It gives us our life. It gives us light – everything."
WHACK JOB!
Bommarito, 58, is part
of a small but growing group of sun-gazers in metro Atlanta. They are
disciples of Hira Ratan Manek, a retired spice trader from India who says
staring at the sun improves mental and physical health. Called HRM by his
followers, Manek says he has rediscovered a practice used by many ancient
cultures, from Greeks to Native Americans.
"Mama always
told me not to look into the eye's of the sun
But mama, that's where the fun is....."
I hope that stupid
song sticks in your heads all day long!! heeheeheeheeehe
Strippers seeking names
Strip club dancers
covered Capitol Square today, gathering voter signatures to repeal a new
state ban on touching patrons. The law takes effect Sept. 4.
Dressed in pink
tops, dark slacks and high heels, the dancers even snagged support from two
state senators who voted for the new restrictions, including no nude or
semi-nude dancing after midnight, last spring: Sen. Eric Kearney, D-North
Avondale, and Sen. Steve Stivers, R-Upper Arlington.
Everyone has a
right to go to the ballot, both senators said after signing petitions at
Broad and Third streets.
“I’ll have to go
and see my constituents,’’ Kearney joked when he learned two dancers were
from the Deja Vu Showgirls strip club in Mount Carmel.
Pamela Ackerman,
24, of Cincinnati and Jennifer Shafer, 22, of Boone County, Ky., were
working Third and State streets, easily averaging a signature per minute.
Both dancers, who
are paying their way through community college, said the new restrictions
were hurt them financially.
"...said the new
restrictions were hurt them financially."
Let us hope
that their 'community' educations are better than this pud-whackers 'ivory'
education.
Dancers for
Democracy has collected more than 200,000 signatures, according to their
spokeswoman, Sandy Theis, and is now averaging 5,000 daily. They need to
collect 241,366 valid signatures from registered Ohio voters by Sept. 3 to
place the issue before voters on Nov. 6.
I think pretty much
all social issues should be put to a public vote. I think it
were
help keep those power hungry politicians in check..
Latest poll shows growing
support for Iraq war policy
USA TODAY's Susan
Page reports that President Bush is making some headway in arguing that the
increase in U.S. troops in Iraq is showing military progress.
In the latest USA
TODAY/Gallup Poll, taken Friday through Sunday, the proportion of those who
said the additional troops are "making the situation better" rose to 31%
from 22% a month ago.
Those who said it
was "not making much difference" dropped to 41% from 51%.
In related news,
the mainstream media are looking for ways to continue to tie every death and
tragedy on the planet to the war on terrorism.
On the other hand,
Democrats are trying to figure out ways that they can take credit for the
success. WHAP!!!!!
No One Knows Why Family's Home
Torn Down
SHOVELLINE - NEW ORLEANS --
Jason Banks got his trash hauled away, obtained a building permit, gutted
his Ninth Ward home and was ready to renovate.
But then, the brick
house vanished, reduced to a slab in an unwanted demolition.
"I was heartbroken.
I was in tears. I was furious," he said.
The Federal
Emergency Management Agency said orders to tear down the house came from
City Hall -- but no one in City Hall is answering questions about Banks'
home.
Of course they
aren't. This is your government at work. Screwing things up without worrying
about any accountability. Truman is rolling in his grave as he sees
his "the buck stops here" policy being shredded like a cheap block of
cheddar cheese.
Jason Banks said he
kept his grass cut, paid his taxes and had the home appraised at $147,000.
He was just waiting on money from Louisiana Road Home rebuilding program to
make repairs to his house.
"It's very
depressing to lose everything," Lisa Banks said. "This was my house. This is
where all my children were conceived, raised and whatever."
"....conceived,
raised and whatever." ???
...and whatever..... There is a
candidate for mother of the year. Sad.
Prosecutor accused of having sex
with a defendant's mom
Lewis County
Prosecutor Michael Golden has been accused in court papers of using a sexual
relationship to get information about a case.
Centralia-Chehalis radio station KITI reports that Golden had a sexual
relationship with the mother of a teenager accused of arson and allegedly
pressured the woman to disclose the defense strategy.
"Does it make
you hot when I touch you here? Hot like the house that your son torched?
Talk to me like a 'nasty dog.'"
Golden acknowledged to the station that he had a relationship with the woman
but ended it when the boy was arrested. Golden says he directed deputy
prosecutors not to give the boy special treatment. He denies any misconduct.
He claims that he
was just showing her the state's
penile codes!
Sheep baa'd in sex case
A MAN who was accused of having sex with a sheep
has walked free because the animal was unable to
testify.
The man, from Haaksbergen, near Utrecht in the
Netherlands, was reported to police after a farmer
caught him having sex with a sheep.
But the case was thrown out of court as the sheep
couldn't take to the stand to testify that it didn't
want to have sex and had suffered emotional stress.
Under Dutch law, bestiality is not a crime unless it
can be proved the animal didn't want to have sex.
Huh? What kind of an inane law is that? And if they
have a law like that, why wasn't Dr. Dolittle
brought in to translate the sheep's side of the
story?
The man claimed that the sheep wanted it baaaaaaaad
and that the sheep couldn't be trusted in court,
because they are notorious for trying to pull the
wool over your eyes.
Sing with me guys......
Loving ewe
Is easy because you're beautiful....
Making love with ewe
Is all I want to do....
Loving ewe
Is more than just a dream come true....
And everything that I do
Is out of loving ewe....
la la la la la... la la la la...la
Drunk driver's breath test
frightens police
A
48-year-old Adelaide man has returned a blood alcohol level
seven times over the legal limit, prompting police concerns for
his health.
A
police spokesman said the man's car was stopped at suburban
Rosewater on Friday night where he blew 0.368.
Ted
Kennedy read this, burped, and mumbled, ".368? That is way to
much blood in my alcohol stream!! Then he disrobed and began
rubbing his genitals on a picture of Betty Ford.
"The
reading was in fact so high police took the man to the Queen
Elizabeth Hospital to have his condition checked by doctors,"
the spokesman said.
After
being cleared, the man was charged with drink driving, driving
an unregistered and uninsured vehicle and driving while
disqualified.
What is
'drink driving'?
I knew
a girl who blew a 6.5 once.
She
ended up getting off later.
ummmmm.....sorry!:)
heeheeee
Sydney police investigate
severed thumb mystery
Police are investigating how a man's thumb was severed
with a sword at Ashfield, in Sydney's inner-west,
overnight.
The 28-year-old was taken to Sydney Hospital for
emergency re-attachment surgery.
Police say they have set up a crime scene outside a pub
where the man was found, and also at a nearby apartment
complex where it is believed the incident occurred.
Police have been told that the man had been practicing
martial arts when his thumb was sliced off.
His doctor said, as a rule of thumb - he should lay off
booze and hitchhiking for a while.
Darwin punched the wall, screaming, "I missed again!"
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