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Monday, 31, 2005
Bush Declares Iraq Election a
Success
President Bush
called Sunday's elections in Iraq a success and promised the United States
will continue trying to prepare Iraqis to secure their own country.
Bush praised the
bravery of Iraqis who turned out to vote despite continuing violence and
intimidation. Bush said voters "firmly rejected the antidemocratic ideology"
of terrorists.
It wasn't the blood
bath that people had predicted. Things went pretty smooth. The liberals in
this country don't see that. They don't see the good. They never do. How
about a few quotes from the mental disenfranchised.
In a statement Sunday, Sen. Edward M. Kennedy,
D-Mass, said Bush "must look beyond the election."
"The best way to demonstrate to the Iraqi people
that we have no long-term designs on their country is for the administration
to withdraw some troops now" and negotiate further withdrawals, Kennedy
added.
Just a few months ago he was complaining that we
didn't have enough troops on the ground over there. Go figure? Idiot.
More on the fat drunk guy here!
"It is hard to say that something is legitimate
when whole portions of the country can't vote and doesn't vote," Sen. John
Kerry, D-Mass., said on NBC's "Meet The Press."
These Democrats
just cannot get over 2000. It is mind-boggling. But I am not going to sit
here and dwell on the musings of a looser.
These young meat
judges a cut above most in national contest
The teenagers of the Lucas High School FFA know their
cuts of meat.
Sisters Jessica and
Andrea Eilenfeld and friend Tara Boggs, joined by Crestview High School
senior Kara Sloan, placed third in a national meat judging competition at
the National Western 4-H Roundup in Denver, Colorado.
..... said the
girls' success in meat judging, a male-dominated area, was wonderful. The
competition required the girls to push themselves, she said.
Sorry, but the
jokes going through my mind are too crass. Even for me!
How many times do
you think these girls are going to be asked to point to the TUBE STEAK?
I had never heard
of the national meat judging competition, but if I had, I would have assumed
that Amber Lynn won every year.
Porn star hawks mobile 'moan
tones'
This fits right in
with the last story.
Porn star Jenna
Jameson is now hawking "moan tones." For $2.50 mobile phone users can choose
from a variety of moans, and sexual noises all recorded by the blond
bombshell.
Jameson, who
recently wrote a best-selling memoir, has launched the venture with Wicked
Wireless, a mobile music and entertainment company.
Best selling
memoir? Best selling where? I am going to go out on a limb and guess that
this book will never end up in a used book store. I mean, who is going to
buy a book with so many pages stuck together?
Also available are
color pictures of the porn star posing naked that can be displayed on your
phone for $2.99.
I think this is all
a sign of the Apocalypse.
"Rock stars make
music tones, porn stars make moan tones," said Dennis Adamo, head of Wicked
Wireless. "We thought it would be an interesting novel approach of
introducing new content to the mobile users."
Have I slipped into
Bizarro world, or something? This is insane! Anyway, the funny part about
the story is that it doesn't offer a link for you to click over and get the
tones. That should make you moan.
Deadly red ants invade Hong Kong
France immediately
issued a declaration of surrender.
South American red fire ants, whose bite can
kill humans, have been found in parks and open ground in urban areas of Hong
Kong, the government has said.
Godzilla issued a
press release stating that Hong Kong was his "territory" and that "those
little red bitches had better back off!" Donkey Kong couldn't be reached for
comment. 
Mounds of these
ants were first spotted in the city's Kowloon district on Wednesday, but the
government only confirmed the species as red fire ants on Saturday evening.
Kowloon....hmmm,
sounds like someone describing Rosanne Barr. Anyway, the government of Hong
Kong is considering bringing in South American anteaters. I guess they
couldn't reach a deal with the union owned North American anteaters. We will
keep an eye on it.
Open
Letter
I like this rant. I
suggest clicking on the link and reading it. It is a rant that I might
write. That is, if I ever watched the Grammys or, for that matter, any
other of the mindless award shows.
Okay, sorry. We
don't mean to be disrespectful. We know the Grammys mean a lot—to Kenny
Rogers and Céline Dion. Or to that cute little piano moppet Norah Jones,
who's still unpacking the 34,000 Grammys she won a couple of years ago.
(Yeah, Norah rocks!)
See, that's your
problem, Grammy. You're about as edgy as a Saturn full of Creed fans.
Judging Amy is cooler than you. It's even worse when you try to act
cool—it's like watching our mom and dad try to dance to Chingy's "Holidae
In."
We have to admit
you've gotten better lately. This year you gave Kanye West ten nominations.
But something tells us that if Santana had put out a record this year, Kanye
would be sitting at home on February 13, ordering Kanye some Domino's. And
what's up with the Sting fetish? Sting could fart in a Ziploc and you guys
would give it five nominations.
Michael Jackson Calls Pre-Trial Leaks
'False'
Michael Jackson
called on Sunday said recent leaks to the media about his child molestation
case "malicious ... disgusting and false," and said he expected to be found
innocent of the charges.
Annie said she's
ok.
Friday, 28, 2005
High court says masturbation at
home not an offence if seen by neighbors
The Supreme Court of Canada has ruled that masturbating at home is not an
offence, even if the activity can be seen by peeking neighbors.
Canada prepares to surrender to a citizenship seeking invasion of nerds,
computer geeks, Trekkies, butt ugly guys and Pee Wee Herman.
The case centered on whether a private space - Daryl Clark's living room
- became public because others could view it. The high court said No in a
unanimous ruling Thursday. "The living room of his private home was not a
place 'to which the public (had) access as of right or by invitation,
express or implied,' " Justice Morris Fish wrote, quoting the Criminal Code.
"I do not believe it (access) contemplates the ability of those who are
neither entitled nor invited to enter a place to see or hear from the
outside, through uncovered windows or open doors, what is transpiring
within."
This all started one night in October of 2000 when one of Clark's
neighbors noticed "some movement" in Clark's living room. She moved from
room to room in her house to get a better view of what was going in Clark's.
When she saw what he was doing she called her husband into the room .
The story says that the two claimed to have watched for 15 minutes. That
is just wrong! Why would they watch for 15 minutes? And why would this guy
need15 minutes to complete the Wang Chung? Was he watching the Rosie
O'Donnell show?
The court found they took care to avoid being seen by Clark, peering out
from underneath their partially lowered blinds. Later, the woman's husband
fetched a pair of binoculars and a telescope. He also tried, unsuccessfully,
to videotape Clark in action, says the judgment.
Huh? Sounds to me like this Clark guy is not the one who should be on
trial here. Boy, those whacky Canadians
This is a model at The Sao Paulo Fashion Week. She is wearing new jeans that
are part of Cavalera's 2005 Fall/Winter collection. SWEET!!! But lets all
hope that they never release a Starr Jones line of this collection.
Kenyan man gets death for eating wife
A Maasai tribesman has been sentenced to death by
hanging in Kenya for killing his pregnant wife and eating part of her
organs, the BBC reported Thursday.
They caught this
freak, sitting next to his dead wife's mutilated body, with blood all around
his mouth. Her liver was gone, and so was part of her heart.
Lengironi's defense
lawyer claimed his client was both drunk and temporarily insane at the time.
If he were a
Kennedy, that defense might work. The drunk thing is a built in excuse and
he could also work the angle that he himself no longer had a liver.
Kennedy Calls for Troop Withdrawal in
Iraq
"The U.S.
military presence has become part of the problem, not part of the solution,"
Kennedy said in remarks prepared for delivery at Johns Hopkins University's
School of Advanced International Studies. "We need a new plan that sets fair
and realistic goals for self-government in Iraq, and works with the Iraqi
government on a specific timetable for the honorable homecoming of our
forces."
While not the first member of Congress to call for a withdrawal of the
troops, Kennedy is the first senator to do so. And his remarks continued
what has been a long and blistering assault on the administration's Iraq
policies. 
This fat sot should be beat to death with a shovel. These sorts of
comments have cost American soldiers their lives over there in Iraq. His
words have emboldened the terrorist and encouraged them to continue to
fight. WHAP!
On top of all that he makes these sort of comments when the Iraqi
elections are just days away. SICK! This clown wants this effort to be a
failure, simply because of his sadistic lust for power. I'm not going to go
off here, but he really needs a good and thorough beating.
These elections
are going to happen Sunday and there is going to be a big turnout. There
will be millions of people who will rejoice in the fact that they have, for
the first time in their lives, been able to cast a vote. There will be tons
of people who aren't happy about the vote or the turn out. We have those
types here in America. We call them Democrats. They will be the ones that
our media covers. You will not see the people who are happy just to have a
chance to vote - no matter who wins. You will only see the ones who don't
like the outcome, or process.
There
will also be violence and, trust me, those images will be shown 100 times
more than any of the peaceful images. Our media has strategically placed
themselves where the worst of the violence is most likely to take place.
Such as the Sunni triangle.
Just be prepared,
guys. Our media already have their failure stories written and they are
going to run them no matter what happens. This triumph in the lives of
millions of Iraqis will be reported as a failure. Time will bear out the
truth though, so just shovel on!
Thursday, 27, 2004
Texas executes killer who cited
Metallica lyrics
HUNTSVILLE, Texas (AP) -- A condemned killer
who twice avoided death last year was executed Tuesday night as the Supreme
Court refused on a 5-4 vote to block the lethal injection.
Troy Kunkle, 38,
spent more than half his life on death row for shooting a man and robbing
him of $13 in Corpus Christi.
Kunkle was contrite
as he looked toward his victim's daughter and son-in-law. "I would like to
ask you to forgive me," he said. "I made a mistake and I am sorry for what I
did. All I can do is ask you to forgive me."
The 1984 shooting
gained notoriety with disclosures that Kunkle, from San Antonio and then 18,
quoted lyrics of a song by the heavy metal rock group Metallica after
31-year-old Stephen Horton was gunned down.
His lawyers tried
to excuse his actions by blaming them on a history of alcohol and drug
abuse, plus a family history of mental illness and abuse.
According to
testimony at Kunkle's capital murder trial, after shooting Horton in the
head Kunkle chanted: "Another day, another death, another sorrow, another
breath" -- the refrain from the Metallica song "No Remorse" on the album
"Kill 'Em All."
Song lyrics
have never had that effect on me, although there was one time when I
chanted a refrain from a Vanilla Ice song and it made me consider shooting
myself.
Rice Confirmed Despite Dems'
Criticisms
Condoleezza
Rice won confirmation as secretary of state Wednesday despite blistering
criticism from Senate Democrats who accused her of misleading statements and
said she must share the blame for mistakes and war deaths in Iraq.
Just what does that
mean? Mistakes and war deaths? It is a FREAKING WAR!!! War is not an exact
science. Mistakes will be made. Also, death is an inexorable part war! This
is a black woman <for those of you keeping count, that is two checks in the
minority column> and the Democrats are going after her solely out of petty
partisanship. This from the party who claims to be champions for blacks and
never miss a chance to call Republicans racist. WHAP!
If you pay
attention to what liberals and Democrats do instead of what they say, you
will understand that the color of your skin or your race or you gender has
very little to do with your minority status. Your beliefs take precedence
over all of that. Remember Clarence Thomas wasn't actually black, yet Bill
Clinton was our first black president. That is what they said. Their
thoughts not mine.
I know I am
preaching to the choir, but if Dr. Rice were a Democrat, every single
Republican that voted against her would right now be being slammed by the
libs and called an unmitigated racist. Maddening.
Only one other
nominee for secretary of state received more "no" votes than Condoleezza did
and that happened all the way back in 1825. All the no votes on her were
cast by Democrats. Imagine that? The thing that makes me grip is that Condi
is more intelligent than any, and I mean ANY, member of the senate.
Republican or Democrat. Her intellect is so far above theirs that it makes a
laughable comparison at best. She speaks five languages. I think that is two
more than Ted Kennedy, who speaks three. Drunk, hung over, and drunk again.
I think these attacks are going to come back to haunt these guys. You watch!
Bill Haas says he may kill
himself
This story is just
insane!
St. Louis School
Board member Bill Haas, who also is running for mayor, says in a Web log
that loneliness, depression and financial problems have led him to consider
suicide.
Haas writes that his online diary, called a blog, is "a little bit of a cry
for help, and a lot just coming to peace with my passing, and sort of a last
note." The blog entry - which covers two and half printed pages - provides
extensive details about Haas' life, his bouts with depression and his money
troubles. It says his "last day" may come sometime this spring or early
summer after he euthanizes his three-legged cat and other pets.
"So what's this about?" he writes. "In a nutshell, I'm 60 years old, still
all alone. ... Unless something breaks professionally in the next couple of
months, I'm going to be out of money and then I'm going to put the animals
to sleep and take my life."
What a freak! This
nut job is on the school board and he wants to be mayor! Nothing garners
votes like a suicide campaign, huh? The Democrats will try anything to get
elected, won't they? I think someone should go take this freaks pets from
him and leave him with a nice little Sad Johnnies Self-immolation Kit.
Man Faces Charges in Metrolink
Collision
A man intent on
committing suicide left his car on a railroad track in Glendale today where
it set off a three-train collision that killed at least 10 people and
injured nearly 200, authorities said.
Police arrested a man who they said would be charged with homicide in the
crash that left train cars mangled and seared. Debris including seat
cushions, bloody towels and luggage discarded by fleeing passengers littered
the area.
Distraught and remorseful, Alvarez told police he had left the vehicle and
watched the derailment, Adams said. Alvarez was held, facing 10 counts of
murder, Adams said, though formal charges are yet to be lodged by the
district attorney's office. Alvarez, who will celebrate his 26th birthday on
Feb. 26, had prior drug arrests, Adams said.
It is too early to say exactly what those charges will be, Dist. Atty. Steve
Cooley said, but they could include multiple counts of murder with special
circumstances based on the number of deaths and nature of the crime. Key to
the legal case, Cooley said, "is the intent of the individual when he drove
onto the tracks."
This guy should be
drug out behind the jail immediately, tied to a wall and then beat to death
with a shovel. He wanted to die, why should the California's waste the time
and money doing anything other than helping him achieve his wish.
Wednesday, 26, 2005
Debbie Gibson, the
Britney Spears of the 1980s, is launching her pop comeback by shedding her
togs for Playboy.
Gibson, who is unbelievably still just 34-years-old, has decided that
dropping her knick-knacks is the best way to promote her comeback tune,
Naked.
Thus
proving that she had no talent. Take away the breast and you are left with a
big fat ZERO! This album will suck like Boy George and sell less than 2 for
one bacon packs at a Rosanne Barr show.
Go
away, please.
Vodka saves
man's life as he falls out of a window
A 30-year-old
Muscovite fell out of the window of his friend's apartment on the fourth
storey of an apartment block. The man stood up on his feet and returned back
to the apartment as if nothing had happened.
According to the information from the Moscow Rescuing Service, the man named
only as Oleg, came to see his friends on Friday night to have a friendly
discussion. The company of men finished with two bottles of vodka rather
quickly. No one of them saw Oleg leaving the party. They noticed that Oleg
did not return to the apartment from the balcony, where he went out to have
a smoke and take a breath of fresh air.
The poor man was lying and moaning in a heap of snow under the balcony at
that moment. When Oleg's friends came down to help him, he told them that he
went out on the balcony, felt sick all of a sudden, went out of balance and
fell down.
I am not sure of
the legitimacy of the page where I found this story - it might be total
crap. I just included it because the guys name was Oleg. Oleg? I wonder if
that is a family name, or if his parents were phonetically challenged.
Taking that name into consideration - I wonder if he consumes more
vodka than Madeline Albright? I will bet a dollar to a doughnut that she
smells like mothballs. Where did that come from? WHAP! I bet he has Ted
Kennedy on his speed dial. I know, shut up man!
Oscars
Do any of us really give a rats ass? Seriously. Who freaking cares? The
biggest grossing movie of the year didn't get a mention. I wonder why?
Actually, no I don't. We know why. Blah, blah, blah.
Grip your shovel, and grin. Up yours, you bunch of Hollyweird freaks!
Low riders beware
A legislator in
Norfolk, who obviously has way too much time on his hands, is trying to pass
a law that will force people to keep their pants pulled up.
"If you want to
show your underwear in your private home, I don't have any objections," said
Del. Algie T. Howell Jr., a Norfolk Democrat who has filed legislation that
would levy a $50 fine on anyone who "exposes his below-waist undergarments
in an offensive manner."
A Democrat wanting
to force people to keep their pants up? Bill Clinton and Ted Kennedy will
surely see to it that this guys ends up dead under bizarre and unexplainable
circumstances. I wonder if his plumber will be exempt from this law?
Civil libertarians
take issue with the state meddling in what people wear.
"This is the kind
of bill we will oppose as being impractical and puritanical," said Kent
Willis, executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union of
Virginia.
It's not the
government's place to decide personal liberties, such as what clothing
people wear, he said.
Hip-hop and
rap-music artists, mostly young black men, have made wearing low-slung pants
fashionable. Howell said adamantly that the bill is not about race.
Even so, the
legislation could disproportionately affect young black men, said Willis.
"Legislators must
also be careful that the law does not have the effect of discriminating on
the basis of race. The hip-hop culture has certainly crossed racial lines in
recent years, but it is still largely identified with African-Americans.
Banning low-riding pants with exposed underwear is likely to have a
disproportionate effect on racial minorities."
WHAP!!!! The idea
of such a law is flat out asinine! The idea that anyone should consider the
fact that it might offend a minority is even more asinine.
Tuesday, 25, 2005
Good-bye, and thank you!
"I'll be right back."
Johnny was once
asked what he would like on his tombstone and that was his response.
Wouldn't it be nice if that were true.
I grew up watching
this man. His show was late night TV that my parents never had any
reservations about letting me watch. He was witty, classy, straight up and
very humble. He didn't need 4 letter words to be funny. He didn't need
guest. He let "nature" take its course and basically resigned himself to
being the conduit between the stars and the audience. He understood that the
funniest of all humor is, more often than not, rooted in reality and he just
went with it. He launched the careers of .... hell, I'll just say it - DAMN
NEAR EVERYONE IN THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY AT THE TIME!
If Johnny liked
you, you were in. Everyone wanted to be in. His acknowledgment was their
pass to the kingdom of the very few and privileged. Johnny didn't have to
ask for guest. Do you guys remember when people -- excuse me, "stars" would
just drop in? Johnny would be interviewing one star and someone else would
just walk in and sit down on the couch and start chatting.
Johnny was the host
of our nations biggest and most unique party. Everyone was invited, every
night. It was entertainment at its best.
That doesn't happen
with Letterman and Leno. Today, the "stars" only show up to shill their
latest movie, book, etc. It is like they show up as a favor to Jay or Dave.
With Johnny, they considered it a privilege just to be allowed to step out
on the stage with him!
Extemporaneous acts
ruled with Johnny, he fed off of them. Letterman and Leno don't have that
talent. They never have and never will. They are nothing more than valets at
the parking lot of the land that Johnny created.
Rest in peace, my
friend. And, thank you.
Reporter fired for Yahoo baby
hoax
A Romanian tabloid
says it has fired a reporter for making up a story about a couple who named
their son Yahoo as a sign of gratitude for meeting over the Internet.
Earlier this month,
major Bucharest daily Libertatea published a story saying two Romanians had
named their baby Yahoo and printed a picture of his birth certificate.
 The news was widely picked up
on the Internet.
"It was the
reporter's child's birth certificate, which he modified," said Simona
Ionescu, Libertatea's deputy editor-in-chief. "We fired him."
Well, there you
have it. Romanian tabloids have just proven that they are more trustworthy
and have more integrity than the mainstream media here in our United States.
Especially CBS, who actually urge creative liberties when it comes to the
truth. They don't cover the story, they create it. Journalist are proof
positive that anyone too stupid to operate a french-fry machine still has a
chance at gainful employment!
Do NOT Give This Man Batteries...
VANCOUVER, British
Columbia - Police were on the search on Friday for a thief who made off with
three "male appendages" from a Vancouver-area sex-toy store and may now be
looking for batteries.
A clerk discovered the man stuffing the fake body
parts into his clothes and asked "if he was going to need batteries for
these three objects," the Royal Canadian Mounted Police said in a news
release. 
"The male calmly stated 'no' and then panicked and
fled, running out of the store with the three objects, minus batteries," the
police statement said.
That is the story, exactly as I found it reported
on Reuters newswire. I'm checking to see if Richard Simmons is currently
vacationing in Canada. Will let you guys know.
Pilgrims die
in 'stoning devil' ritual
Three Muslim pilgrims
were killed and 500 others suffered light injuries as they jostled to
perform the "stoning of the devil" ritual near Mecca, Saudi newspapers
reported today.
Ahhh... those peaceful
Muslims. Initial word of this ritual caused a temporary increase in
security around Hillary.
Monday, 24, 2005
Happy little SpongeBob too gay
for US conservatives
On the heels of
electoral victories to bar same-sex marriage, some influential conservative
Christian groups are turning their attention to a new target: the cartoon
character SpongeBob SquarePants.
"Does anybody here
know SpongeBob?" Dr James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, asked
guests on Tuesday at a black-tie dinner for members of Congress and
political allies.
Now, Dr Dobson
said, SpongeBob's creators had enlisted him in a "pro-homosexual video", in
which he appeared alongside other children's television characters. The
makers of the video, he said, planned to mail it to thousands of schools
this northern spring to promote a "tolerance pledge" that includes tolerance
for differences of "sexual identity".
These maniacal
zealot Christian groups need to find something else to worry about....get a hobby. If
these zealots think SpongeBob is into
homosexual sex, what sort of sexual activities do they think Winnie the POOH
is into?
"Nothing in the
video or its accompanying materials refers to sexual identity."
Well, DUH!!!!! It
is a freaking sponge! Even if there were a sexual overtone - only
heterosexuals use sponges during sex.
Reportedly,
Scooby and Shaggy are shovel swinging mad that these same zealots never
noticed their roundabout references to heavy drug use or the veiled attempt
to promote bestiality. WHAP!!!!! I have to tell myself to shut up on this
one.
McDonald's
Japan cuts prices
Japan has cut the prices of some products at about 110 locations in the
Miyagi and Hiroshima metropolitan areas of Japan, making them round numbers
to convey a sense of value, according to a published report Friday.
The unit of McDonald's is now
offering value meals for 500 yen ($4.83) at those locations. For example,
the price of a chicken filet meal was cut 77 yen and a Filet-O-Fish meal 45
yen compared with nationwide prices, the Nihon Keizai Shimbun reported.
Here
in America, if you want to catch someone's eye with a price reduction, all
you have to do is lower the price from $20.00 to $19.99. Works every time!
Prices of individual items were
reduced as well, the Nikkei said. The price of a Big Mac was cut by 12 yen
to 250 yen, and the price of medium French fries by 52 yen
to 200 yen.
Bill Clinton and
Michael Moore had a tearful embrace of ecstasy at the thought of the savings
they would reap from this in future chewing expeditions.
And by setting prices at round
numbers, the company hopes to alleviate employees' handling of 1 yen and 5
yen coins, which is expected to reduce congestion at the registers, the
report said.
Over here it would help
alleviate the congestion of high school graduates having to use their finger
to count from 1 to 5.
Family Scuffles, Pastor Says Jeans a
Demon
This is one horribly written story - hard to read.
Journalist, huh?
There is no other profession where so many with such a total lack of ability
and talent can set out and earn a living solely on their ultimately
meaningless desire to change the world. Well, I take that back, there are Amway people, but I
think they are considered more of a cult than a profession. WHAP! Anyway,
read on.
When scuffling
sisters brought their family squabble into the Assemblies of Jesus Church,
the preacher says the devil came, too. The Rev. Clarence June Love was just
about to begin his Sunday service to a congregation of less than a dozen on
Jan. 9, when sisters Reba Storey, 46, and Mary Steele, 64, entered the hall
to talk to their 88-year-old mother, Maude Yates .
Who be who?
The sisters claim they wanted to tell their mother that Storey was going
to have surgery. They say they came to church because another sister,
69-year-old Rosa Harrison, who is also the preacher's girlfriend, won't let
them see Yates, who lives in a nursing home.
But what caught Love's eye when the sisters entered his church were their
blue jeans - forbidden for women in some Pentecostal churches. The
83-year-old preacher came down from his pulpit.
"You're not wearing pants in my church, you demon," Storey claimed the
preacher said. "I said, 'I'm glad I serve a God who can work through my
pants.'"
And last night God's name was Leroy and he used a bottle of Hennessey to
work through her pants.
That's when, according to Storey, Love allegedly grabbed her and hustled
her to the door.
"He said, 'I got all the demons out of my church, and I want you out,'"
she said. "I said, 'I don't believe you've got all the demons out yet.'"
Maybe she was hiding Hilary Clinton in her back pocket.
Love called the police. Storey and Steele turned themselves in, then
filed charges against Harrison and Love.
Now all of them face assault charges. General Sessions Judge Bill Watson
said he hoped to deal with the case Friday after spending all his time
Wednesday just finding lawyers for everyone.
"It's a family feud," Storey said.
And Richard Dawson
kissed him on the lips! WHAP!
Nev. Judge Nullifies Law on Lap Dances
A judge has
ruled that a Las Vegas law prohibiting strippers from fondling customers
during lap dances is unconstitutionally vague. Isn't that so Clintonian? The
definition of "is" is........
District Court Judge Sally Loehrer affirmed a lower court ruling that as
many as five misdemeanor criminal cases filed against Las Vegas strippers
should be dismissed. 
Friday's ruling affects only dancers within city limits. The Clark County
Commission in 2002 limited touching between strippers and patrons during
private lap dances, specifically barring strippers from touching or sitting
on the customer's genital area.
HELLO!!??? It is called a lap dance for a reason!
But the municipal code was not as specific, saying only that strippers
and their patrons should not "fondle" or "caress" each other.
City attorneys told Loehrer touching is illegal when dancers engage in
contact aimed at sexually arousing the customer. But defense lawyer James
Colin argued the lack of specifics makes it impossible to enforce the law.
Morons. I am surrounded by morons! The very act of stripping is meant to
be sexually arousing, so how could anything else that they do be considered
anything but? It should be noted that none of these laws apply to
slick Willy.
Bus Hijacking Plot Busted
Three eleven-year-old boys and a ten-year-old
girl are accused of trying to hijack a school bus.
State police in
Punxsutawney say one of the boys held a knife near of another student and
demanded the driver stop the bus.
The driver, Janet
McQuown, stopped the bus and took the knife from the boy then continued on
her route to Mapleview Elementary. Punxsutawney Area School District
officials then who contacted police.
Superintendent
J-Thomas Frantz says the students have been disciplined but could face
additional punishment None of the four have been identified because they are
juveniles.
Police say two of
the boys were placed in the custody of juvenile authorities, while the third
boy and the girl were released to their parents.
Forty other
students were aboard the bus, but no one was hurt.
This brings up the
obvious liberal question..... What did President Bush know and when did he
know it?
Friday, 21, 2005
I think President Bush is going to have one of the most successful 2nd
terms in the history of our great nation. Just watch.
W2
The left were
really hating this sight. The protestors might make me reach for my shovel
were it not for the fact that they are such mentally insolvent freaks. I
can't believe they are protesting this event. They are protesting the very
thing that gives them the freedom to protest. Every four years we all get
the opportunity to participate in a mini revolution, and we get to do it
without all the bloodshed that goes along with a revolution. Without a shot
being fired we have the chance to remove our leader.
The libs didn't get
the results they wanted, so they are having a childish hissy fit. I say get
over it and move on, you will get another chance 4 years from now. As futile
as it might be, it will be a chance, so look forward and regroup.
Anyway, the speech
was, I think, by far the best speech he has given. One for the records. The
liberal press will rip it to pieces, but we all expect that so blah, blah,
blah to them. If you didn't see it, click the link and read it. It is well
worth the time.
"At this second
gathering, our duties are defined not by the words I use, but by the history
we have seen together. For a half-century, America defended our own freedom
by standing watch on distant borders. After the shipwreck of communism came
years of relative quiet, years of repose, years of sabbatical -- and then
there came a day of fire."
Police probe Armstrong doping
claims
A French judge has
confirmed a preliminary probe has started of doping claims against six-times
Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong.
The American has
vigorously and consistently denied the allegations.
The judge from the
Alpine city of Annecy has ordered local police to investigate after the
publication last year of a book entitled "L.A. Confidential: The Secrets of
Lance Armstrong."
This is all being
based on something that happened in 1998. They didn't prove anything back
then. Can I offer these guys 3 words? LET IT GO. This might be the first
time in history that the French didn't just give up! Actually, I think the
banned substances that the French are claiming that Lance used were soap,
toothpaste and deodorant.
Armstrong said last
week he would decide in April whether he would take part in this year's Tour
de France.
Whether he will?
Why wouldn't he? He must be half nuts!
FEMA has
created an online Tsunami game for the children
This is a little
odd. I take that back, it is very odd. I kind of get it, but then I don't
actually get it at all. Maybe it is just me, but I don't find turning the
biggest tragedy of our times into a flippant "educational" game to be a very
responsible thing to do.
But, here it
is so why not play it. Good luck. If you get stuck and need help, don't
waste your lifeline on a phone call to the UN.
Woman faces charges for deleting
ex-boyfriend's online game data
A woman in her 30s who illegally used her boyfriend's
online username and password to access an Internet game and delete his game
data faces charges, police said.
Police reported the
woman, of Takaoka, Toyama Prefecture, to the Fukushima District Public
Prosecutors Office accusing her of violating a law banning illegal access.
I think this case
will be tossed out because we all know that online gaming nerds don't have
actual girlfriends.
Michael Moore's Bodyguard
Arrested on Airport Gun Charge
Filmmaker
Michael Moore's
bodyguard was arrested for carrying an unlicensed weapon in New
York's JFK airport Wednesday night.
Police took Patrick
Burke, who says Moore employs him, into custody after he declared he was
carrying a firearm at a ticket counter. Burke is licensed to carry a firearm
in Florida and California,
but not in New York. Burke was taken to Queens central booking and could
potentially be charged with a felony for the incident.
Michael Moore
hasn't stopped chewing his cud long enough to comment yet, but I am
reasonably sure he will blame President Bush and his friends in BIG
LICENSING or he'll make a documentary that is rife with lies about the USA.
Either way he will still be one gigantic blubbery fat ass and I will still
be grinning at the thought of busting his dome with my shovel!
Thursday, 20, 2005
Less ranting and
more reading assignments today. Check them out!
Marvel Ordered to Pay Spider-Man
Creator
This story comes to
us from the Shovel's "well, duh!" file.
A federal judge has
ordered Marvel Enterprises Inc. to pay the creator of the comic book
character Spider-Man 10 percent of Marvel's profits from the "Spider-Man"
movies, Marvel said on Wednesday.
Marvel, a comic book publisher that licenses its
characters, said the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New
York ordered it to pay Spider-Man creator Stan Lee a share of proceeds it
has received since November 1998 from movies, television shows and
movie-related toys manufactured by Marvel.
He created our beloved web slinger. Hello??!!!??
Show him the money! It is a shame that things like this have to go to court,
but, alas, we have become this sort of society. Sue. Sue. Sue. WHAP!
Senator Barbara
Boxer, self-established delirious moron, from California was given a chance
to question Condoleezza Rice at her confirmation hearings. The problem was
that she wasn't there to question as much as she was to harangue. The entire
transcript is on the link. This is just her opening. Notice the total
lack of "questions"!
SEN.
BOXER: Thank you very much,
Mr. Chairman. Thank you, Dr. Rice, for agreeing to stay as long as it takes,
because some of us do have a lot of questions.
And, Senator Lugar,
you are a very fair chairman, and I wanted to say to the new members also
welcome -- and you'll enjoy this committee, because we have such a great
chairman and such a terrific ranking member, and we really do a lot of
things in a bipartisan way, unlike other committees. And I think you're
going to enjoy your time here.
Dr. Rice, before I
get to my formal remarks, you no doubt will be confirmed -- that's at least
what we think. And if you're going to become the voice of diplomacy -- this
is just a helpful point -- when Senator Voinovich mentioned the issue of
tsunami relief, you said -- your first words were, "The tsunami was a
wonderful opportunity for us." Now, the tsunami was one of the worst
tragedies of our lifetime -- one of the worst -- and it's going to have a
10-year impact on rebuilding that area. I was very disappointed in your
statement. I think you blew the opportunity. You mention it as part of one
sentence. And I would hope to work with you on this, because children are
suffering, we're worried they're going to get in the sex trade. This thing
is a disaster, a true natural disaster and a human disaster of great
proportions, and I hope that the State Department will take a huge lead
under your leadership in helping those folks in the long range.
Well, Mr. Chairman,
again I thank you. I am -- Dr. Rice, I was glad you mentioned Martin Luther
King -- it was very appropriate, given everything. And he also said, Martin
Luther King, quote, "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about
the things that matter." And one of the things that matters most to my
people in California and the people in America is this war in Iraq.
Now, it took you to
page three of your testimony to mention the word "Iraq." You said very
little really about it, and only in the questioning have we been able to get
into some areas. Perhaps you agree with President Bush, who said all that's
been resolved. I'm quoting today's Post: "Bush said in an interview last
week with the Washington Post that the '04 election was a moment of
accountability for the decisions he made in Iraq." But today's Washington
Post/ABC poll found that 58 percent disapprove of his handling of the
situation, to 40 percent who approve -- and only 44 percent said the war was
worth fighting.
So in your
statement it takes you to page three to mention the word "Iraq." Then you
mention it in the context of elections -- which is fine -- but you never
even mention indirectly the 1,366 American troops that have died, or the
10,372 who have been wounded -- many mentally, as a report that I read over
the weekend that maybe a third will come home and need help because of what
they saw -- it's been so traumatic to them. And 25 percent of those dead are
from my home state.
It is sad that Dr.
Rice had to sit there and listen to this fool ramble on like this.
Ya know what?
Senators, for the most part, SUCK! They are a bunch of megalomaniacal freaks
who are so much more important to themselves than they are to anyone else,
and they never grow tired of catching a lingering glimpse of themselves in
the mirror. WHAP!!!
Barbara Boxer isn't
qualified to operate Silly Putty, much less hold a seat in the Senate, but
the California voter is what it is. They seem to favor the obtuse when it
comes to selecting a representative.
Media's coverage has distorted
world's view of Iraqi reality
I suggest that you
click the link and read this. It is an open letter by LTC Tim Ryan. He is a
Commander in the Task Force 2-12 Cavalry, First Cavalry Division in Iraq.
This is stuff that our liberal media won't tell you, and he nails them on
it!
All right, I've had
enough. I am tired of reading distorted
and grossly exaggerated stories from major news organizations about the
"failures" in the war in Iraq. "The most trusted name in news" and a long
list of others continue to misrepresent the scale of events in Iraq. Print
and video journalists are covering only a fraction of the events in Iraq
and, more often than not, the events they cover are only negative.
The inaccurate picture they paint has distorted the world view of the
daily realities in Iraq. The result is a further erosion of international
support for the United States' efforts there, and a strengthening of the
insurgents' resolve and recruiting efforts while weakening our own. Through
their incomplete, uninformed and unbalanced reporting, many members of the
media covering the war in Iraq are aiding and abetting the enemy.
The fact is the
Coalition is making steady progress in Iraq, but not without ups and downs.
So why is it that no matter what events unfold, good or bad, the media
highlights mostly the negative aspects of the event? The journalistic adage,
"If it bleeds, it leads," still applies in Iraq, but why only when it's
American blood?
Speak it, brother!
Read on, guys.
Wednesday, 19, 2005
'24hr pubs
will flop'
PUB chiefs said last night that 24-hour opening would
be a big flop — because of a lack of all-night drinkers. JD Wetherspoon,
England’s largest pub chain, insisted the drinks trade didn’t want the law
changed.
From next month pubs
will be allowed to open around the clock. But a Wetherspoon spokesman said:
“We don’t believe there will be enough demand."
I have one name for
these guys - Kennedy. The Kennedy's single-handedly put all-night drinkers
on the map. Benders are their business. Just invite them over and there will
be no problem profiting
from a 24/7drinking cycle.
Accidental drownings
will probably increase, but there is always a cost of doing business. Huh?
Jerry Garcia's heirs sue over
burrito chain's use of his image
The heirs of rock
legend Jerry Garcia are suing a burrito franchise based in Atlanta for
improper use of the singer's image in its restaurants and advertising.
A burrito
franchise? What is that? It is a restaurant chain. Burrito franchise? Blah, blah...
Come on. 
Not only does Moe's
Southwest Grill offer the "Alfredo Garcia" fajita (choice of grilled
chicken, steak or tofu with lettuce, salsa, and shredded cheese), but nearly
all 130 restaurants prominently display a portrait of the renowned singer,
the suit filed by Jerry Garcia Estate LLC claims.
Although the estate
administers licensing for several products bearing Garcia's likeness, such
as the Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavor "Cherry Garcia," the singer's heirs
claim Moe's never sought licensing for the portraits, ads, fliers or
commercials graced with Garcia's mug.
The suit also
condemns the use of an altered lyric from Grateful Dead song, "Casey Jones,"
that appears beneath portraits of Garcia.
The plaintiff
claims the altered lyric "Trouble ahead, trouble behind, just have my taco
ready in time," was misappropriated.
I think Casey Jones'
relatives should sue Jerry for forever linking his name to an acid induced
melody that.... sorry, no I don't. I think all parties involved need to shut up!
No suit!
"Just in case a
consumer is not certain that the likeness in the portrait is Mr. Garcia,
Moe's clinched the identification by using famous song lyrics readily
associated with Mr. Garcia," the suit complains.
Founded in 2001 by
Garcia's widow, children and brother to protect and promote Garcia's legacy,
and managed by music lawyer Christopher Sabec, the estate claims the
franchise violated federal trademark and copyright laws by using Garcia's
image to reap "ill-gotten benefits."
Say it with me....
GRAVY TRAIN!!!!!!
Even so, Brooke
Oliver, intellectual property counsel for the Estate, says licensing would
not have necessarily been granted in this instance.
"intellectual
property counsel for the Estate" What in the hell? My shovel is glowing!
"It's not the sort
of product the heirs are interested in associating Jerry Garcia's likeness
with," Oliver said, adding that the sort of licensing Moe's might have
sought would have cost at least $75,000 per store for a short-term
agreement.
They don't want to
associate him with a burrito, but they have no problem with him being
associated with ice cream. ?? That should have dieticians heads spinning
like Linda Blair on crack!
Moreover, the
estate claims Moe's use of Garcia's image creates "confusion among
consumers" by wrongly suggesting "sponsorship or an implied endorsement of
Moe's restaurants" by Garcia. An endorsement??!!?? Ummm, last I checked
Jerry was STILL dead! I don't think he is actively endorsing anything other
than the dirt nap right now.
"Defendant's
widespread misappropriation of Mr. Garcia's likeness, song lyrics and name
have turned the internationally famous musician, artist and founder of the
'Grateful Dead' into little more than a taco huckster," the suit, filed in
U.S. District Court in Atlanta, claims.
Will one of you go
get my shovel?
Police: Burglar Took Daughters
To Work
Arkansas
police caught a woman in the act of burglarizing a home while her two young
daughters sat out front in the car. Isn't that just great?
Officers were dispatched to a residence in the 1400 block of Lura Lane at
2:33 p.m. Monday, after a neighbor reported that someone other than the
owner was removing property from the residence, Van Buren police detective
Sgt. Steve Weaver said. When the officers arrived, they found Candice
Arnold, 35, of Van Buren inside the home and her two daughters, ages 3 and
9, sitting in a vehicle in the driveway.
The officers found a bunch of things that had been
taken from the house inside the woman's car. The owner of the
residence told them that she did not know the woman and had not given anyone
permission to be in her home.
The bungling burglaress appeared to be smacked out of her mind on drugs and could not
articulate coherent answers to the questions the officers asked her.
Arnold was arrested on suspicion of residential burglary, theft of property
and endangering the welfare of a minor. The children were released to a
relative.
Arkansas.
I am sure
this isn't what the hairy legged, non-bra wearing, boyish haircut sporting
feminist had in mind when they pushed "take your daughter to work day" on
us.
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