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Friday, 10, 2007
Thirst kills 1,300 sheep on
Croatia island
Authorities said Thursday they will remove as soon as
possible the carcasses of 1,300 sheep that died of thirst on Croatia’s
central Adriatic Murter Island.
Branka Gulin, veterinary inspector of Sibenik County
on the central Adriatic coast, said preparations were under way to transfer
the carcasses from the Kornati Archipelago, outside the port city of Zadar,
to an inland site where they will be destroyed, the Croatian news agency
HINA said.
Gulin said transport of the carcasses should begin by
Sunday.
Many will be shipped to Alabama and sold on the
Necrophiliac black market.
It is saaaaad what happened to these Croatian wool
balls, but it is nothing compared to the millions of Polish fish that die of
thirst every year.
Texas Parents Sue Governor,
School District Over Moment of Silence
A Texas family is suing Gov.
Rick Perry
and a school district over a state-mandated moment of
silence in schools, according to The Dallas Morning News.
David
Wallace Croft
and his wife, Shannon, of Carrollton,
Texas,
have three children at Rosemeade Elementary and argue that
the moment of silence is unconstitutional and amounts to
state-sanctioned school prayer.
This David Croft and his wife need to be beat to death with
a shovel! Can we have a moment of silence for media whores?
These two idiots need to be fitted with mercurochrome, and
acid, coated ball gags!
This is a moment of silence. Just a moment of silence, where
kids can do whatever they want to do. Pray, doodle, daydream
about Harry Potter, or in the case of the Croft kids - sit
and psychically receive their
Satanic marching orders from Beelzebub himself.
I
wonder what the Croft's would say if the school held a
moment of silence after one of their kids died in an
automobile accident? Surely there would be prayers in that
moment. Would they sue over that? Who knows? Maybe the
heathens would.
This country is loosing it. You can't show the 10
Commandments, you can't have a manger scene, a menorah or
show anything else that might represent a religious faith.
That will not be tolerated.
But, if it is something that has to do with the radical
Islamic Muslim religion, we will bend over backwards -
twice! "We must learn to be tolerant!" WHAP!
WHAP! WHAP!!!!!!!!!!!
We
need a moment of loud angry outrage!
Thursday, 09,
2007
Lawsuit of the Day: Greer v.
1-800-Flowers
If you're a
married man planning on sending flowers to your mistress, we have a tip for
you: do NOT use
1-800-FLOWERS
(as if you needed to be told).
Breach of contract action in which the defendants agreed
to keep the plaintiff's order of flowers for his
girlfriend private, with no record of the transaction
mailed to him at his home or office.
Months later, the defendants sent a thank you card to
the plaintiff's home, and his wife called the defendants
for proof of the purchase. The defendants faxed the
plaintiff's wife proof of his order of flowers for his
girlfriend, which resulted in a divorce being filed.
Doesn't this idiot know that if he is going to cheat he
stands a good chance of being caught by "contracting"
FTD's?
I
hope the judge slaps him in the face with a shovel!
WHAP!
'This Baby's
name is not 4real', couple told
A couple has got
over the disappointment of having their choice of 4Real as the name for
their baby son turned down by calling him Superman instead.
Pat and Sheena
Wheaton were told by the government registry in New Zealand they could not
register the name because it included a digit.
Huh? How do they
deal with Pat the 3rd or 4th?
Seems to me like
the pretentious government is using its power to insert a digit into the
hind section of every citizen who.... never mind.
Mr Wheato n
said he came up with the unlikely moniker after seeing the baby for the
first time in an ultrasound scan and realizing their baby was "for real".
However, the family
has refused to let the law or good taste get in the way of their choice,
insisting they will continue to refer to their two-month-old son as 4Real.
We wouldn't have
problems with kids names if we would just test people before allowing them
to breed.
In the meantime
they plan to officially name him Superman.
That is just great.
You guys have just insured that your kid will get the crap kicked out of him
everyday on the playground.
Think about it...
what kid isn't going to want to run around claiming, "I just beat up
Superman!"
Whap!!
Wednesday, 08,
2007
'Sun-gazers' praise rays
When the sun pops above the tree line in Berkshire
Manor, few folks seem to notice.
The blinds are still closed in many of the two-story
houses. And the Alpharetta neighborhood holds onto the
last quiet that precedes the morning commute.
But one man is watching. Closely.
Barefoot and bug-eyed, Paulus Bommarito stands on a sand
path he built in his backyard just for these occasions.
I
wonder if the path was built by a silicone sister with a
manager mister?
Bommarito, who manages
his own graphic design firm, presses his palms together in front of his
chest, as if in prayer. "It's not a worship," he says, a Hawaiian shirt and
blue shorts hanging loosely from his slim frame. "It's a reverence for what
the sun does. It gives us our life. It gives us light – everything."
WHACK JOB!
Bommarito, 58, is part
of a small but growing group of sun-gazers in metro Atlanta. They are
disciples of Hira Ratan Manek, a retired spice trader from India who says
staring at the sun improves mental and physical health. Called HRM by his
followers, Manek says he has rediscovered a practice used by many ancient
cultures, from Greeks to Native Americans.
"Mama always
told me not to look into the eye's of the sun
But mama, that's where the fun is....."
I hope that stupid
song sticks in your heads all day long!! heeheeheeheeehe
Strippers seeking names
Strip club dancers
covered Capitol Square today, gathering voter signatures to repeal a new
state ban on touching patrons. The law takes effect Sept. 4.
Dressed in pink
tops, dark slacks and high heels, the dancers even snagged support from two
state senators who voted for the new restrictions, including no nude or
semi-nude dancing after midnight, last spring: Sen. Eric Kearney, D-North
Avondale, and Sen. Steve Stivers, R-Upper Arlington.
Everyone has a
right to go to the ballot, both senators said after signing petitions at
Broad and Third streets.
“I’ll have to go
and see my constituents,’’ Kearney joked when he learned two dancers were
from the Deja Vu Showgirls strip club in Mount Carmel.
Pamela Ackerman,
24, of Cincinnati and Jennifer Shafer, 22, of Boone County, Ky., were
working Third and State streets, easily averaging a signature per minute.
Both dancers, who
are paying their way through community college, said the new restrictions
were hurt them financially.
"...said the new
restrictions were hurt them financially."
Let us hope
that their 'community' educations are better than this pud-whackers 'ivory'
education.
Dancers for
Democracy has collected more than 200,000 signatures, according to their
spokeswoman, Sandy Theis, and is now averaging 5,000 daily. They need to
collect 241,366 valid signatures from registered Ohio voters by Sept. 3 to
place the issue before voters on Nov. 6.
I think pretty much
all social issues should be put to a public vote. I think it
were
help keep those power hungry politicians in check..
Tuesday, 07,
2007
Latest poll shows growing
support for Iraq war policy
USA TODAY's Susan
Page reports that President Bush is making some headway in arguing that the
increase in U.S. troops in Iraq is showing military progress.
In the latest USA
TODAY/Gallup Poll, taken Friday through Sunday, the proportion of those who
said the additional troops are "making the situation better" rose to 31%
from 22% a month ago.
Those who said it
was "not making much difference" dropped to 41% from 51%.
In related news,
the mainstream media are looking for ways to continue to tie every death and
tragedy on the planet to the war on terrorism.
On the other hand,
Democrats are trying to figure out ways that they can take credit for the
success. WHAP!!!!!
No One Knows Why Family's Home
Torn Down
SHOVELLINE - NEW ORLEANS --
Jason Banks got his trash hauled away, obtained a building permit, gutted
his Ninth Ward home and was ready to renovate.
But then, the brick
house vanished, reduced to a slab in an unwanted demolition.
"I was heartbroken.
I was in tears. I was furious," he said.
The Federal
Emergency Management Agency said orders to tear down the house came from
City Hall -- but no one in City Hall is answering questions about Banks'
home.
Of course they
aren't. This is your government at work. Screwing things up without worrying
about any accountability. Truman is rolling in his grave as he sees
his "the buck stops here" policy being shredded like a cheap block of
cheddar cheese.
Jason Banks said he
kept his grass cut, paid his taxes and had the home appraised at $147,000.
He was just waiting on money from Louisiana Road Home rebuilding program to
make repairs to his house.
"It's very
depressing to lose everything," Lisa Banks said. "This was my house. This is
where all my children were conceived, raised and whatever."
"....conceived,
raised and whatever." ???
...and whatever..... There is a
candidate for mother of the year. Sad.
Prosecutor accused of having sex
with a defendant's mom
Lewis County
Prosecutor Michael Golden has been accused in court papers of using a sexual
relationship to get information about a case.
Centralia-Chehalis radio station KITI reports that Golden had a sexual
relationship with the mother of a teenager accused of arson and allegedly
pressured the woman to disclose the defense strategy.
"Does it make
you hot when I touch you here? Hot like the house that your son torched?
Talk to me like a 'nasty dog.'"
Golden acknowledged to the station that he had a relationship with the woman
but ended it when the boy was arrested. Golden says he directed deputy
prosecutors not to give the boy special treatment. He denies any misconduct.
He claims that he
was just showing her the state's
penile codes!
Monday, 06, 2007
Sheep baa'd in sex case
A MAN who was accused of having sex with a sheep
has walked free because the animal was unable to
testify.
The man, from Haaksbergen, near Utrecht in the
Netherlands, was reported to police after a farmer
caught him having sex with a sheep.
But the case was thrown out of court as the sheep
couldn't take to the stand to testify that it didn't
want to have sex and had suffered emotional stress.
Under Dutch law, bestiality is not a crime unless it
can be proved the animal didn't want to have sex.
Huh? What kind of an inane law is that? And if they
have a law like that, why wasn't Dr. Dolittle
brought in to translate the sheep's side of the
story?
The man claimed that the sheep wanted it baaaaaaaad
and that the sheep couldn't be trusted in court,
because they are notorious for trying to pull the
wool over your eyes.
Sing with me guys......
Loving ewe
Is easy because you're beautiful....
Making love with ewe
Is all I want to do....
Loving ewe
Is more than just a dream come true....
And everything that I do
Is out of loving ewe....
la la la la la... la la la la...la
Drunk driver's breath test
frightens police
A
48-year-old Adelaide man has returned a blood alcohol level
seven times over the legal limit, prompting police concerns for
his health.
A
police spokesman said the man's car was stopped at suburban
Rosewater on Friday night where he blew 0.368.
Ted
Kennedy read this, burped, and mumbled, ".368? That is way to
much blood in my alcohol stream!! Then he disrobed and began
rubbing his genitals on a picture of Betty Ford.
"The
reading was in fact so high police took the man to the Queen
Elizabeth Hospital to have his condition checked by doctors,"
the spokesman said.
After
being cleared, the man was charged with drink driving, driving
an unregistered and uninsured vehicle and driving while
disqualified.
What is
'drink driving'?
I knew
a girl who blew a 6.5 once.
She
ended up getting off later.
ummmmm.....sorry!:)
heeheeee
Sydney police investigate
severed thumb mystery
Police are investigating how a man's thumb was severed
with a sword at Ashfield, in Sydney's inner-west,
overnight.
The 28-year-old was taken to Sydney Hospital for
emergency re-attachment surgery.
Police say they have set up a crime scene outside a pub
where the man was found, and also at a nearby apartment
complex where it is believed the incident occurred.
Police have been told that the man had been practicing
martial arts when his thumb was sliced off.
His doctor said, as a rule of thumb - he should lay off
booze and hitchhiking for a while.
Darwin punched the wall, screaming, "I missed again!"
Friday, 03, 2007
Self-service economy arrives
gradually
At airports,
supermarkets and big-box retailers, "customer service" in recent years has
meant self-serve — aided by touch-screen kiosks.
As digital kiosks
become more user-friendly and capable of handling more complicated tasks,
health care providers, fast-food chains and other businesses say trading
face-to-face encounters for face-to-monitor transactions improves service
and saves money.
Yet the complexity
of human decision-making and service expectations in different industries
means any possible self-serve revolution is more likely to be a gradual
transition.
It won't be gradual
if the Democrats keep demanding, and getting, minimum wage increases. Those
increases will only hasten the development of self service. Of course, when
that happens the Dem's will then turn around start complaining about
unemployment. Whap!! Democrats SUCK!
I love
self-checkout. Go in, get your stuff - scan it, bag it and be on your way
without having to deal with anyone. That is as long as I don't get stuck
behind some imbecile ass satchel, who has no idea what they are doing, and
are standing there poking at the kiosks like they ares playing
"Whack-a-Mole"!! Whap!!!
Anyway, the thought
of "self service" had to of been a mans idea. <if you know what I mean>
Spank, Spank, Spank, Spank, Spank.
First, Pants Man Loses Case.
Next, His Job
By the middle of
next week, Roy Pearson, the D.C. administrative law judge who sued his
neighborhood dry cleaners for $54 million and lost, will receive a letter
that starts the process of putting him out of a job.
City sources
tell me that a
marathon meeting
of the commission that reviews the performance of administrative law judges
(ALJs) ended last
night
with unanimous agreement to meet again next Monday to revise and finalize
the wording of a letter that will state the panel's doubts about granting
Pearson the 10-year
reappointment that
he has been seeking
throughout the
last months of his battle against Custom Cleaners and its owners, the Chung
family.
I hope this putz
ends up having to take a job as a floor cleaner in a peep show booth.
Within the
commission, the discussion about Pearson's future has focused on when and
whether it is right to measure a judge's performance by his behavior outside
the courtroom. The panel looked specifically at whether Pearson's
extraordinary zeal in pursuing the case against the Chungs was so frivolous
and embarrassing to the judicial system that it should be taken as evidence
of his lack of judicial temperament.
The commission
should also demand that Mister Smarty Pants pay back every cent that
the Chings had to spend to defend themselves. We need a 'looser pays' system
in our courts. If you file a mindless, frivolous lawsuits and lose - then
you should have to pay all of the defends attorney fees.
The people who file
frivolous suits should be beat with a shovel. The trial lawyers who take the
cases should be beat to DEATH with a shovel.
Up yours, John
Edwards. You, I primp like a girl, hump.
Today's - 'no sh*t' story, brought to
you by the
Insurance
Institute for Highway Safety.
Fender Benders Found To Cost
More In Luxury Cars
Buying an expensive
car can bring an owner style, prestige and repair bills in the thousands of
dollars to fix damage caused by minor fender-benders.
Wow!! I can't
believe that! Let me get this straight......If I wreck my Hummer, it will
cost me more to fix it then it would for a liberal who was driving a Pinto?
Imagine that?
In related
news...... it cost more to fix the damage when a tornado hits a country club
than it does when a tornado hits a trailer park.
See you guys back
here Monday!
Thursday, 02,
2007
Monkey Unlocks Pen, Eludes Zoo
Staff
The Tupelo Buffalo Park and Zoo asked residents
Tuesday to help in the recovery of a white-faced capuchin monkey that
apparently managed to unlock his pen and escape.
Oliver freed himself
at about 8 a.m. and led park staff on a chase through the park's trail
system before eventually eluding them.
Park employee Ann
Stewart said Oliver will respond to his own name and may take bait of
bananas, marshmallow or grapes.
Rosie O'Fat will take
the same bait, if it is slathered in Crisco, gravy and sugar butter.
She urged people to
call the park if they spot the mammal.
The monkey needs to be
spanked. Spank the monkey! Spank the monkey! Spank, spank, spank!! Spank the
monkey!
UT
study says lust is top sex motivator for men and women
I love it when we have money spent on these
studies into the blatantly obvious. In related news,
After exhaustively compiling a list of the 237
reasons why people have sex, researchers at the University of Texas at
Austin found that young men and women get intimate for mostly the same
motivations.
Paris Hilton saw this and said, "I could raise
that number by 500 reasons - if only I could count that high."
It's more about lust in the body than a love
connection in the heart.
College-age men and women agree on their top
reasons for having sex: They were attracted to the person, they wanted to
experience physical pleasure, and "it feels good," according to a
peer-reviewed study in the August edition of
Archives of Sexual Behavior.
Twenty of the top 25 reasons given for having sex were the same for men and
women.
Expressing love and showing affection were in the
top 10 for both men and women, but they did take a back seat to the clear
No. 1: "I was attracted to the person."
My main motivation was that sex was the only
known antidote to my "special" disease. At least that is what I told the
chicks. Most of them believed it.
Kid Nation
40 children, 40
days, no adults—eager to prove they can build a better world for tomorrow in
the new reality series KID NATION. Settling in Bonanza City, New Mexico,
once a thriving mining town but now deserted, these kids, ages 8 to 15 and
from all walks of life, will build their own new world, pioneer-style.
They will confront
grown-up issues while coping with the classic childhood emotions of
homesickness, peer pressure and the urge to break every rule. Episodes end
with a town meeting in which the kids award one child a gold star worth
$20,000, all leading to the grand finale, with an unimaginable test, the
biggest awards and a special surprise for every child.
Yet another
mindless "Reality TV" show. Thank you, CBS. Thank you for having such a lack
of talent and creativity. Every time you produce a new reality show, you are
just proving to the world that your ilk have run out of ideas. WHAP!
Ever heard of the
Lord of the Flies? It was a well written and imaginative tale - unlike 99%
of the mindless muck coming out of "Hollywood".
8 year olds? How
many labors laws is CBS breaking?
I hate reality TV!!!
Wednesday, 01,
2007
Man falls out of car while
trying to spit
A Pensacola man was
critically injured after he fell out of a vehicle while trying to spit.
Miguel Rogelio, 37,
was riding in a 2006 Lincoln on U.S. Highway 29 when he “quickly opened the
right front door” to spit, according to the Florida Highway Patrol.
Have you ever heard
of rolling down the window, you dumbass??!!??
When he did this he
fell out of the moving vehicle and onto the roadway, hitting his head.
The driver of the
car, Desiree C. Jamar, also of Pensacola, told the investigating trooper
that they had just left the Tom Thumb store near the West Roberts Road
intersection and that the car was traveling at about 45 miles per hour when
Rogelio fell out.
Right now, Darwin
is pacing in circles - mumbling to himself, "HOW DID I MISS THIS ONE????"
Man
allegedly admits to sexually molesting cows
A man caught in a
dairy barn just before midnight in late May was not only violating the
boundaries of the farmer’s property, but he admitted to police that he was
there sexually molesting the cows.
The judge asked,
"How
dairy take advantage of those poor cows?"
Fifty-six year old
Gregory Viens, of Fayston, pleaded no contest last week in Vermont District
Court to the misdemeanor charge of unlawful trespass and paid the court $601
in fines for his crime.
He pleaded guilty,
but insisted that he had been setup, because the cows were all singing -
"I'm in the mooooooooooood for love"
On May 29 Viens was
caught in the barn of the Scribner Farm on River Road in Moretown when a
farm employee, who had noticed Viens vehicle parked near the farm, went
around to the back of the barn and caught Viens in there.
Employees at the farm had suspected Viens of trespassing on the farm and
knew he had a history of sexually abusing cows, according to court
documents.
Viens was convicted of the same charge in 2000.
Why wasn't this
bovine pumping freak not locked up? That is
udderly
ridiculous!
Hmmmm...Well, now
that I think abut it - they didn't lock up Tom Arnold. Oh, sorry - different
issue there.
According to court
documents, Stephen Scribner, manager of the Scribner farm, told police he
suspected Viens had been trespassing and that Vien’s presence there made
farm employees uncomfortable.
Tuesday, 31, 2004
Clintons bash Bush in speeches
Ok, guys. This is just shovel licking delicious! Bill Clinton was speaking
to worshipers at an upper Manhattan church, criticizing President Bush's
administration on everything from the environment, to drug benefits, to tax
cuts for the wealthy, blah, blah, blah. Then he went off the deep end.
"Sometimes I think
our friends on the other side have become the people of the nine
commandments," he said, accusing Republicans of ignoring the truth.
Huh? Hello??!!??
What a joke! Lying, not being truthful? This from a guy who stated
emphatically that he "did not have sex with that woman." Hmmm... Let
us think about this, guys.
Not bear false
witness, not covet, not commit adultery, not steal. I think old Bill needs
to look in the mirror! Might he and his ilk be the people of the 2 or 3
commandments? WHAP! Please shut up and just go away!
Man Decapitated In Bizarre Wreck
We can file
this one in the 'what was he thinking' file.
A Cobb
County, Ga. man and his friend had been out partying and drinking heavily,
so heavily that the passenger got sick. Well, they are going down the road
and the passenger is hanging his head out of the truck window and he is
spewing like
Karen
Carpenter after any given meal, then suddenly his buddy looses control of
the truck.
Along comes the support wire of a utility pole and, well, I think you get
the picture. Dome be gone.
What does the
driver do? Pull over and call for help? No, he drives on to his house with
the headless corpse hanging out of the window. Then, once there, he goes on
inside and goes to sleep!
Now, I have been
drunk before. Very drunk! But I have never been "my buddies headless corpse
is in the seat next to me, I think I'll just go home and crash" drunk!
Who knows, maybe he
looked over and thought, "Wow! He just puked his brains out!"
The next morning a
neighbor happened to notice the headless body hanging out of the truck
window and called the police. They found the driver asleep in the house,
covered in blood and still drunk. He was treated for dehydration before
being booked at the county jail where he was charged with vehicular
homicide. My guess is the guy is desperately searching the family tree for
any Kennedy lineage.
Newport cop driven home after DUI stop
Here is a related story. A Newport cop is under
investigation by his department after being stopped him for suspected
drunken driving, and then being allowed to be driven home without any
charges being filed.
Newport officer Mark Crank was stopped at 1:23 a.m.
Aug. 10 on the Interstate 471 ramp to I-275 west. A Fort Thomas police video
shows Crank repeatedly refusing to take a field sobriety test and being
uncooperative.
"You were all over the road, sir, OK?" Fort Thomas
police officer Adam Brown said to Crank in a video recorded by his cruiser's
dashboard camera. "I mean you almost wrecked this car three times while I
was following you. In fact, at one point you were just an inch from going
off the road back there."
The grainy video shows Crank's repeated refusal to
comply with a sobriety check, saying, "Why are you standing there doing this
to me?" 
Buried at the end of the story is the fact that
Crank was one of three Newport police officers named in a federal civil
rights lawsuit in 1996. The suit claimed that the three officers, who were
off duty at the time, pointed guns at two Northern Kentucky University
students during an argument. The suit was settled out of court with the city
paying undisclosed damages. WHAP! I think we have shoveled up a bad cop here
guys!
Web Turns 35, but Still Work in
Progress
Thirty-five years
after computer scientists at UCLA linked two bulky computers using a 15-foot
gray cable, testing a new way for exchanging data over networks, what would
ultimately become the Internet remains a work in progress
Hold on a second!
UCLA scientist? Didn't Al Gore tell us that it was he who invented the
internet?
Today, University researchers are still
experimenting with the net trying to increase its capacity and speed.
Political pressures might hinder them. Imagine that?
In the 70s they created the TCP/IP protocol, in they 80s the domain name
system came along and the 90s brought us the World Wide Web. Now the
engineers are developing separate systems that will parallel the
Internet so that data-intensive applications like video conferencing, brain
imaging and global climate research won't have to compete with all e-mail,
e-commerce and of course, PORN!
The rest of the info in this article is pretty much a big yawner. No word
on how a shovel will effect the WWW. I guess that remains to be seen. All I
know is that Michael Moore is still an excessively portly putz!
Man who cut out girlfriend's eye may end up as a juror
A man, who spent time
in a courtroom for gouging out his girlfriend's eye with a steak knife,
could be back in court Monday, but this time as a juror.
Am I living in bizarro world here?
In 1996 this guy,
Nathan Campbell, attacked his girlfriend with a steak knife and cut out one
of her eyeballs. In his trail he was found not guilty by reason of insanity.
WHAP! Do you guys know how the insanity plea came about? Originally it was a
posthumous plea. I will take that up later.
Anyway, even though
this guys is still being treated for mental illness, he might make the jury
just because he has a valid driver's license. Hello?!!!?? This is
sick! I will keep a shovel on it!
Kerry is dead in the
water. Just watch. Keep your shovel on you, though! There is still some
swinging to be done!
Monday, 30, 2004
That
headline is just as misleading as it can be.
 Witnesses say that this
woman didn't fall, she jumped - right into the hotel courtyard. So she was
either trying to kill herself or the plunge was her attempt at impersonating
Vanilla Ice's musical career.
Anyway, she
was dead on the scene.
Oh, and I almost forgot to mention, she and her
husband were there to
attend a
conference on suicide prevention! Hmmm.... Sources are telling the Shovel
that Rod Serling is going to come back from the grave for this story. We
will keep an eye on it!
Pregnant
Inmate Forced To Undergo Abortion To Be Eligible for Death Penalty in China
Read that headline
until your head explodes from trying to find the logic in it! WHAP! I wonder
where the NOW gals will stand on this? Me thinks they won't say a word.
Chinese
prison officials have forced a pregnant inmate found guilty of transporting
heroin to undergo an abortion so that she could be eligible for the death
penalty, according to a report published on Wednesday, AFP/Yahoo! News
reports.
 This lady,
Ma Weihua, was arrested for transporting 56
ounces of heroin. Under China's criminal code,
anyone convicted of trafficking that amount of heroin can be executed. But!
Chinese law also states that pregnant women and people under the age of 18 cannot be executed.
What a conundrum, huh?
Not for the government over there. They want to abort
the child in order to be able to legally execute the mother. ???? I
know how you guys feel -- INSANE!!!!!
The consent form stated that the substation director requested that Ma be
forced to undergo the procedure because she was "uncooperative." The form
also noted that Ma was given general anesthesia -- which put her to sleep --
instead of the local anesthetic usually used for early-term abortions,
according to Ma's attorney Weng Weihua.
How crazy is this? It makes me want to sing that old
Monty Python song, --sing it with me--- "I like Chinese, I like
Chinese. They only come up to your knees...." Seriously though - why
aren't we dropping bombs over there?
Tale of malt & mystery
This is cool in a
weird way. This guy is selling beer that he made from the barley of crop
circles.
"There's something very interesting as yet unexplained going on in those
fields," Cates said.
Some people believe crop circles are tangible proof that superior
extraterrestrial intelligence is at work in our world, others believe there
is a paranormal aspect to
their appearance, and some say they are nothing
but grand hoaxes.
Everyone else is a NASCAR fan!
Friday, 27, 2004
Move over Don Ho
Jake Shimabukuro,
the first Hawaiian - and only ukulele player - to sign with Epic Records is
about to explode onto the music scene. Look out Tiny Tim! Oh wait, never
mind, he is now tiptoeing under the tulips.
Anyway, this guy
can fill arenas, pulling in thousands of rabid admirers. The critics love
him and are even comparing him to guitar greats like Jimi Hendrix and Eddie
Van Halen. Hmm... 4 strings on one and 6 strings on the other. Sure, I can
see the comparison. Kind of like comparing a bugler to a trumpeter, I guess.
Whack jobs!
Just a
thought, but is there a job more counter productive and meaningless than
that of a critic? Not only of music, but of anything. Maybe it is just me,
but most critics seem to be vainglorious little maggots who live to tear
down every person who possess more talent than they do. That would include,
in their case, 99.9% of the free worlds population. WHAP! Critics strike me
as the kind of people who buy their underwear at garage sales. Sorry, got
off on a rant there. Back to the story...
To win over more hearts and minds, Shimabukuro will be
touring the States over the next several months, playing at venues ranging
from the Bumbershoot arts festival in Seattle to the Knitting Factory in
Hollywood. His newest CD, "Walking Down Rainhill," also was released in the
United States on Tuesday. But he says he isn't in any particular hurry to
become a household name.
That is a
good thing because 'household name' is something that he will never be. I'd
say, at best he might end up being a trivia question.
Speaking of less than
six strings, here is a perfect segue...
Air play ambitions in rock riff
riot
Finland
will be holding the ninth annual Air Guitar World Championships this
weekend.
 The
finalists must perform a song of their choice as well as a song that will be
chosen right before they hit the stage. There is no dress code for this
unparalleled display of lack of musical talent.
Judges are looking
for originality, the ability to be taken over by the music, stage charisma,
technique, artistic impression and - it goes without saying - "airness"
In related news,
Michael Moore is still the undisputed champion floating Air Biscuits.
Waldoboro school bans nuts,
seeds
Come
September, all 400 children in SAD 40's Miller School will go nut-free,
seed-free, pit-free and bean-free as part of a food ban designed to save a
fellow pupil's life.
Parents are being
told this week not to send their children to school when classes begin Sept.
1 with anything containing peanuts, sunflower seeds, poppy seeds, sesame
seeds or legumes such as dried peas and beans. Also banned: fresh peaches,
apricots, avocados, plums, cherries or other pitted fruits.
Although more than
one pupil at the school is allergic to such foods, one child's sensitivity
is life-threatening, Superintendent Pamela Carnahan said Tuesday. The child,
whose identity has not been released, is so sensitive that he could have a
reaction merely by smelling the breath of someone who has eaten the banned
foods.
"It's of such a
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