A BABE WITH BRAINS!
Voted Website
of the Month
March 2004!
A MUST READ
Voted Website
of the Month
March 2004!
A MUST READ
A BABE WITH BRAINS!
Voted Website
of the Month
March 2004!
A BABE WITH BRAINS!
TSG
Voted Website
of the Month
March 2004!
A MUST READ
A BABE WITH BRAINS!
Voted Website
of the Month
March 2004!
Voted Website
of the Month
March 2004!
A BABE WITH BRAINS!
Voted Website
of the Month
March 2004!
A MUST READ
A BABE WITH BRAINS!
TSG
Voted Website
of the Month
March 2004!
A MUST READ
A MUST READ
TSG
TSG
Voted Website
of the Month
March 2004!
A MUST READ
A BABE WITH BRAINS!
Voted Website
of the Month
March 2004!
A BABE WITH BRAINS!
Voted Website
of the Month
March 2004!
A MUST READ
Voted Website
of the Month
March 2004!
A MUST READ
A BABE WITH BRAINS!
Voted Website
of the Month
March 2004!
A BABE WITH BRAINS!
TSG
Voted Website
of the Month
March 2004!
A MUST READ
A BABE WITH BRAINS!
Voted Website
of the Month
March 2004!
Voted Website
of the Month
March 2004!
A BABE WITH BRAINS!
Voted Website
of the Month
March 2004!
A MUST READ
A BABE WITH BRAINS!
TSG
Voted Website
of the Month
March 2004!
A MUST READ
A MUST READ
TSG
TSG
Voted Website
of the Month
March 2004!
A MUST READ
A BABE WITH BRAINS!
Voted Website
of the Month
March 2004!
Monday, 28, 2005
Grow-your-own breast implants
It looks like
silicone implants are on the way out. Plastic surgeons will soon be taking
tissue from other parts of their patient's body and using it to grow tissue
from patients' own stem cells.
So claims Jeremy Mao of the University of Illinois, who has tested the idea in mice. He seeded scaffolds with human bone-marrow-derived stem cells and inserted them into mice.
Four weeks later the implants still retained their size and shape. "It seems promising and could soon be making an impact," Mao told the American Association for the Advancement of Science conference in Washington DC last week.
In related news, Bill Clinton has a new pet mouse.
Top official: U.S. can't fire missile without OK
This is a Canadian official, guys!
A day after opting out of the U.S. ballistic
missile defense shield, Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin reiterated
Friday that Washington must get permission from Ottawa before firing on any
incoming missiles over Canada.
"This is our airspace, we're a sovereign nation, and you don't intrude on a sovereign nation's airspace without seeking permission," Martin said.
Can you believe that? What do they want? The first right to surrender!!!!? I say if it is coming our way, blow it out of the sky. If it going their way.... screw it. What are they going to do? Knock out of the air with empty beer bottles and hockey pucks?
Why don't a couple of us get our shovels and take that place over? I bet it wouldn't take 15 minutes!
Dems Back Actor Rob Reiner For Governor
Actor-director Rob Reiner leads a Democratic field that also includes Attorney General Bill Lockyer, state Treasurer Phil Angelides and Controller Steve Westly, said Friday.
Is this really a story? I mean, when was the last time the Democrats didn't want to run a MEATHEAD?
But more than 20 months before California's next gubernatorial election, 56 percent of the 800 registered voters questioned said they were very inclined or somewhat inclined to support Schwarzenegger. Forty-two percent said they were not too inclined Or not at all inclined to vote for him.
When matched against the Democrats, the Republican governor got 52 percent of the vote compared to 37 percent for Reiner, 35 percent for Angelides, 34 percent for Lockyer and 33 percent for Westly.
So the headline should have read, "Democrats Lose No Matter Who They Chose"
Youth castrates self over broken engagement
In a shocking incident, a 22-year-old youth of Ahmedabad district castrated himself earlier this week to do away with the root cause of his sexual frustration! Bachu Mafabhai, a resident of Sadatpura in Detroj town, chopped off his penis with a sharp blade on Tuesday morning, which according to his own confession, was to get rid himself of the root cause of his unfulfilled sexual desires that were making life miserable for him.
"I could not sleep for nights on end, I would just keep tossing and turning
in bed," Bachu, who had a broken wedding engagement four years ago, told TNN.
I have been
pissed at broken relationships, but have never been 'chop my own goober off'
pissed at them. Everyone say it with me, the byiotch ain't worth it!
To escape the daily misery unleashed by his unfulfilled desires, Bachu
chopped off his sexual organ and buried it near his home.
This story is
too bizarre. I have no explanation for the picture here, maybe I lost my
mind for a moment! Click the link and read it, because I ain't touching it!
:)
In other news, Michael Moore is still FAT! I didn't watch the Oscars because the biggest selling movie of the year wasn't even nominated, and well, I was very busy looking at the wall! WHAP!
Friday, 25, 2005
British beer advert featuring gun
A "threatening" beer advertisement depicting a double-barrelled shotgun pointed at the viewer has been banned by Britain's advertising watchdog.
It was a newspaper ad for Ruddles ale and it featured a shotgun pointed at the reader from between two pub stools, and the caption read "Excuse me, I believe that's my seat."
Apparently a bunch of
spineless crybabies who don't have anything that could possibly be considered a life
complained, saying that the advertisement was offensive and irresponsible
because it condoned the threatening use of guns. I wonder what they would
have done if the ad had shown a tightly gripped, fully poised shovel?
The Advertising Standards Authority said on Wednesday the advertisement was "unlikely to be seen as condoning or provoking anti-social behavior" but added it could be considered threatening and was likely to cause "serious or widespread offence.
It would also cause France to stay in a constant state of surrender!
Man Burning Cards From Girlfriend Sets House On Fire
Obviously he wasn't channeling Einstein at the time.
A 19-year-old man in
College Park who was burning cards from an old girlfriend in a house they
once shared caused a fire that caused $100,000 worth of damage and gutted
most of the structure.
The guys friends and family told reporters that he was being forced out of the house. The firefighters said he appeared to be emotionally upset when they arrived. Smokey the Bear said he was just relieved that the guy wasn't playing with the matches in the forest.
He was sent to a mental-health facility for a psychiatric evaluation.
I'd suggest electric
shock shovel treatment and hourly spanking sessions with Nurse Ratchet.
Manure Pile Fire Extinguished After Nearly Four Months
It took nearly four months, but to the relief of neighbors for miles around, a burning manure pile has been extinguished.
Dickinson's feedlot, about 20 miles west of Lincoln, takes in as many as 12,000 cows at a time from farmers and ranchers and fattens them for market. Byproducts from the massive operation resulted in a dung pile measuring 100 feet long, 30 feet high and 50 feet wide.
Michael Moore's septic tank maintenance crew were said to have laughed and asked, "You actually call that little bitty mound of dung a PILE?"
A man walked into Glassner at Barracks Road Shopping Center around 12:30 p.m. Friday, and an employee showed him the three diamond-studded gold rings. He then asked to see another set and when the employee bent down to get it, he fled with the rings, police said.
The rings he stole were wedding rings, one of which he used to propose to his girlfriend. Why is it that I get the feeling that this guy buys his underwear at garage sales? Anyway, she happily accepted and there was much rejoicing. She needed to have the ring resized though.
You guys get one guess as to where she took the ring to have it resized. Yep. The store that he stole it from. Darwin did his job on this one guys. WHAP!!!
Have a great weekend! See you Monday.
Thursday, 24, 2005
Astronomers claim first 'dark galaxy' find
Strong evidence for a massive galaxy totally devoid of stars has been found in the Virgo cluster, about 50 million light years away from Earth.
There is no need to go 50 million miles away to find a galaxy totally devoid of stars. The could have just went over to the studios of the PAX TV Network.
The new galaxy, which consists of a gigantic cloud of hydrogen gas and exotic dark matter, contains enough material to give birth to tens of millions of stars.
hmmm.... exotic dark matter? Call it the Halle Berry Galaxy
That is the actual headline. I didn't make it up. Too funny! What would be a French warcry? "Do that again and I swear I am going to SURRENDER!"
France's national library has raised a "warcry" over plans by Google to put books from some of the world's great libraries on the Internet and wants to ensure the project does not lead a domination of American ideas.
Who could forget all those great French literary masterpieces like, "We Surrender", "Please Defend Us", "Bathing, What's the Point", "We Surrender Again" and of course, "France, The Land of Pretentious Smelly A-Holes".
"It is not a question of despising Anglo-Saxon views ... It is just that in the simple act of making a choice, you impose a certain view of things," Jeanneney told Reuters in a telephone interview on Friday.
This is about nothing other than despising the Anglo-Saxon views, you cheese sucking putz. Your demanding to be included is an act of imposing a certain view, poodle boy.
His views are making waves among intellectuals in France, where many people are wary of the impact of American ways and ideas on the French language and culture.
French intellectuals? WHAP! What is that? Those freaks think that Jerry Lewis is a genius! Also, if it weren't for us - THE US - the French language would be German now!
"Here we find a risk of crushing domination by America in defining the idea that future generations have of the world," he wrote, urging the EU to act fast.
It is not a "risk", it is an unavoidable reality and the world will be better for it!
IL Robber Busted By Bragging On Live Radio
A Chicago man is facing bank
robbery
charges after authorities say he called into a Chicago radio station and
bragged about the heist. The robbery at a TCF Bank in Chicago last April
went unsolved until a bank worker heard the man's call to a popular
confessions show. The caller bragged that he and five others tied up
employees and got away with $81,000. A bank worker recognized details from
the confession as matching the hold-up at her bank and called authorities.
The FBI traced the call and caught the robbers. A quick background check revealed that none of them were Mensa Members.
Judge extends stay keeping brain-damaged Terri Schiavo alive two more days
A judge Wednesday extended a stay keeping
brain-damaged Terri Schiavo's feeding tube in place, saying he needed time
to decide whether her husband, who wants to let her die, is fit to be her
guardian.
I don't know how much attention you guys have paid to this story, but her scumbag husband needs to be beat to death with a shovel.
Michael Moore took interest in this case when he heard that a feeding tube might be coming available soon.
Tuesday, 23, 2005
The federal government can't do anything right. This study can't possibly be accurate. They say that Tennessee had the lowest rate of alcohol abuse among the states. Jack Daniels is considered to be an exercise drink in Tennessee.
The two-year study found about six percent of Tennessee residents 12 and older had abused alcohol in the past year -- about seven and a half percent had abused marijuana.
North Dakota had the highest alcohol abuse rate at nearly eleven percent....
Hold on there. Factor in Ted Kennedy alone and North Dakota can't possibly be ahead of Massachusetts.
.....
while Alaska was the top marijuana abuse state at more than 16 and a half percent of residents.
I didn't realize that Willie Nelson and his band had moved to Alaska.
Huge Fiberglass Boot Stolen From Yard
A little old woman and all of her so many children are now homeless. Once again she doesn't know what to do.
CASPER, Wyo. (AP) - Police are looking for whoever swiped an 8-foot, 150-pound, fiberglass boot from the front yard of an elementary school principal.
Leslie Madden, 
principal
of Willard Elementary, said she noticed the huge, colorful boot was missing
when she backed her car out of her driveway Saturday morning.
"I'm just devastated," she said.
Cheyenne area artist made 30 boots and sold them to raise money for the Cheyenne Depot Museum Foundation.
Natrona County Sheriff's deputies who investigated found boot tracks - normal-sized ones - and tire tracks at the scene. "It was bolted down so well, including steel braces inside the boot," she recalled. "I thought it was secure."
The authorities are looking at Toby Keith. They say that if they find the boot in a terrorists ass they will know they have the thief.
CALL IT 'KILL BILL' PETERSEN
'PULP Fiction" director Quentin Tarantino could be directing an upcoming episode of "CSI."
CBS officials say it's all just "chatter" at this
point, but "CSI" star George Eads, who plays Nick Stokes on TV's top-rated
drama, started the ball rolling during last weekend's SAG Awards in L.A.
"CSI" — which stars William Petersen — would appeal to Tarantino's gory sensibilities. He is the director of such famously violent movies as "Reservoir Dogs" and "Kill Bill."
Quentin Tarantino is going to direct an episode of 'CSI,' " Eads told reporters.
I assume the episode will involve the CSI team finding an uncomfortable hunk of metal hid up the victims ass. They will then all shoot-up and put mayonnaise on their French fries.
School time could increase
Alabama children will have to start attending school at age 5 and stay in school until they are 18 if two pieces of legislation gain final passage in the Alabama Legislature this session.
The Alabama Education Association supports the measure.
Jeff Spicoli called the measure gnarly and ordered pizza and some tasty waves. Then called Mr. Hand a dick.
Under existing law, parents can hold off on placing their children in kindergarten until they are 7 years old.
Thus insuring that they won't graduate high school until they are 28.
But Dunn's bill would lower that requirement to 5. The retired educator's biggest concern has been older children entering kindergarten without basic reading skills.
I think he should be more worried about kids entering kindergarten at the same time they are hitting puberty! WHAP!
Monday, 21, 2005
Divers set record for staying in freezing water
George Costanza screamed, "SHRINKAGE!"
NEW LONDON,
Conn. -- Bill Farr didn't have a good reason for deciding to stay in chilly
Long Island Sound longer than anyone ever had.
"I just wanted to do it," the Southington resident said.
Farr and a group of U.S. Navy divers broke the record for the longest chilly
dip at the annual "Penguin Plunge" Sunday. Farr staggered out a few moments
after the group after staying in 34-degree water for 15 minutes and 38
seconds.
It topped the record set last year of 10 minutes and 2 seconds.
The event is a fund-raiser for the Special Olympics of Connecticut. About
215 people participated and raised more than $30,000, organizers said.
15 minutes in
34-degree water. Maybe these guys belong in the Special Olympics?? YIKES!!!!
Private company buys Johnny Carson's
boyhood home
NORFOLK, Neb. Johnny Carson's boyhood home has been sold to a private developer.
The Georgia-based company called Historic Properties bought the five-bedroom home where Carson lived from the age of eight to 18 in Norfolk, Nebraska. No word on the purchase price, or what the company plans.
A spokesman for the new owner says Carson's former home will become a memorial of some kind.
Ed McMahon said, "You are correct, sir!" and then ran to the door with a million dollar check from Publishers Clearing House and then passed out.
Pauly Shore Getting Real with TBS
Series
In related news, TBS struck a deal to get a 5% cut of all dope sales in America.
TBS has ordered 10 half-hour episodes of a reality
show that follows the star of "Encino Man" and other dubious classics
as he attempts to revive the Comedy Store, a Los Angeles club founded by his
mother, as well as his own career.
Production already is under way on the project, which is tentatively titled "Minding the Store." No airdate has been scheduled.
10 shows? That is one show for every person who will actually watch the crap. This just isn't going to happen. "Ya know, buddy!?"
Drunk Cop Found Passed Out In Burger Drive-Thru
HAMILTON, Ohio -- A
sheriff's captain and 23-year member of the Butler County Sheriff's Office
was busted again for drunk driving over the weekend and is out of a job.
Hamilton police officers said they found an off-duty Greg Blankenship passed out in his car in the drive-thru of a Steak N Shake restaurant just before 3 a.m. Sunday.
When Blankenship came to, his eyes were glassy and his speech slurred, the arresting officers said.
Or, in other words, he looked like Ted Kennedy on the floor of the Senate.
Friday, 18, 2005
Why men fall
asleep after sex
The gentle
buzz of snoring is among the most annoying sounds known to woman.
Especially when it happens shortly after a passionate encounter.
Yesterday scientists explained exactly why it is that men have a tendency to nod off after making love. Apparently, it's nothing to do with wanting to avoid a cosy chat with their partner. According to the scientists, they are simply tired out.
'Humans are the only animals in which sleep and sex are linked....'
Hold on! Humans are the only animals? What sort of scientist is this guy? Grab a dictionary, Bub! There is human and there is animal. One of these things is not like the other. Unless, of course, you are referring to O.J. Simpson.
'..... and while often seen as just a poor excuse,
there are scientific reasons why men feel tired after sex."
That would be because they had to work so hard to get it!
'The blood rush after climax depletes the muscles of energy-producing glycogen, leaving men feeling physically drained. Because they have more muscle mass than women, men become tired after sex and this subsequently leads to them feeling sleepy.'
Eighty per cent of men said they felt more relaxed and were able to drift off without any problems after making love, compared with 46 per cent of women.
Who felt the need to ramble on incessantly about absolutely nothing!
To keep men from immediately dozing off, this doctor suggests having sex out of the bedroom, away from the usual sleeping environment, or playing uplifting music. I'd suggest having a little more personality than your average blowup doll. But, hey, that is just me!
He suggested the more adventurous could videotape their lovemaking sessions - so they have something to watch afterwards.
Paris Hilton said, "Is you crazy??"
Not everyone nods off after sex. The survey found 48 per cent of men had actually fallen asleep during the act itself.
Damn, I didn't know that 48% of the men were being forced to have sex with my ex-girlfriend.
CBS Plans Prime-Time Tribute to Rather
CBS will televise a one-hour prime-time tribute to Dan Rather the night he leaves the evening news anchor chair, and its producer says it won't avoid the story that has clouded his final days on the job.
"Dan Rather: A Reporter Remembers"
- the slant he ran- will air 8 p.m. EST on March 9, an hour after he anchors his final evening newscast after 24 years, the network announced Thursday.
Despite 24 years as the evening news anchorman, Rather has always considered himself a reporter first and foremost, Susan Zirinsky, the shows executive producer, said.
Not remaining deskbound is one of his proudest legacies, she said. "The real job to him - and that's what will come through in this - is in the field," she said. "He loves to be eyeball to eyeball. He needs to see it, feel it, hear it, taste it."
Right. That is unless he can falsely smear a Republican. Don't give me that crap, CBS. He didn't need to see, feel, hear or taste the validity of those fake documents about President Bush. The freak still won't even admit that they were fake. Can I stick a shovel in that eyeball??
Starting Feb. 28, the "CBS Evening News" will air an eight-part series in which Rather looks back at the most significant stories he's covered.
In related news- starting Feb. 28, CBS plans to air an unwatched eight-part series.
AUBURN Calf. - The FBI was called out to investigate a suspicious bag in Auburn Wednesday, just one day after a pipe bomb was found near the city's Department of Motor Vehicles office.
Authorities were
called to a building under construction at Maidu Drive and Auburn-Folsom
Road around 9 a.m. after there were reports of a suspicious device, possibly
a bomb, at the site.
After a short investigation, the FBI said it turned out to be empty beer cans in a paper bag.
After another short investigation, they then ticketed Nick Nolte for littering.
Thursday, 17, 2005
Kid Rock arrested on assault charges
NASHVILLE, Tennessee (AP) -- Kid Rock was arrested Wednesday by Nashville police on charges that he punched a disc jockey at a strip club.
White trash on parade! Will someone please introduce him to the business end of a shovel?
The 34-year-old rap-rocker was released after posting a $3,000 bond on a charge of simple assault, a misdemeanor punishable by up to a year in jail.
What he has
recorded and claimed to be music should be a punishable offense! Punishable
by being beat to death with a shovel!
He had appeared a few hours earlier before Night Court Commissioner Howard Taradash. Kid Rock laughed and joked with the two officers who arrested him and two others there for the hearing as he stood in the dock -- a small room with a large glass window that separates defendants from the commissioner and observers.
Authorities said he was charged after a 3 a.m. altercation at Christie's Cabaret near downtown Nashville.
"Inside the establishment there was a squabble concerning, I guess, the selection of music," Nashville police Sgt. James Smith told reporters.
I guess someone wanted to hear some music that didn't SUCK!
Cardboard image of Bush and whiskey missing in burglary
Stolen: A cardboard likeness of President Bush and a bottle of Jack Daniel's whiskey.
This guy came home to find that his standup image of President Bush and a bottle of the Tennessee whiskey were missing.
Ted Kennedy was immediately called for questioning, but his secretary said that he was out wading through the Chappaquiddick at the time.
According to a police report, the burglar entered the apartment through a window.
The value of the items taken: $50 for the whiskey and $25 for the likeness of Bush.
Ted refuted that claim, saying that the whiskey was priceless and that the President Bush stand up was obviously a ploy to put money in the pockets of his friends at Halliburton!
Clothing Designer Hopes To Defy Adage 'Sex Sells'
Yvette Thomas hopes to defy the adage "Sex Sells."
She's showing her line of no-sex wear at an apparel industry trade show in Las Vegas. Thomas' T-shirts and panties have abstinence slogans like "Virginity Lane: Exit When Married" and "No vows, No sex."
Madonna looked at her and laughed and then invited every member of the NBA over to her place for cocktails.
Tuesday, 15, 2005
Delaware County Murder Victim Called To Jury Pool