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Family Says Christmas Lights Company Left Them Hanging
SHOVELINE- FRISCO, Texas -- A Frisco family is trying to shine a light on a holiday business that was supposed to brighten the Christmas spirit.
Two months after Christmas, lights are still lit above Angela Mason's home.
Her family prepaid a company called Holiday Spirit Lighting to install and remove the lights within two weeks after New Year's Day.
"They use a special adhesive to put the lights up, so the concern is if we go and remove it ourselves, what kind of damage will it do to our home?" Mason said.
This sounds like the most creative white trash excuse for not taking down your Christmas lights that I have ever heard.
And now... a couple of gator stories....
Croc-wrestling granny wins
Australia bravery award
An Australian grandmother who saved a friend from the jaws of a crocodile by jumping on the giant reptile's back has been awarded Australia's highest civilian bravery award.
Alicia Sorohan was awarded the Star of Courage after risking her life to save a friend who was dragged from his tent by the crocodile during a camping trip in the remote far north of tropical Queensland state in October 2004.
Then 60, Sorohan jumped on the 4.2 m (14 feet) crocodile's back as it dragged him from a tent while the man's horrified wife tried to both pull him free and protect their baby.
The crocodile then turned on Sorohan and almost tore off her arm before her son shot and killed it.
Steve Irwin said, "Dang, mate! You could have just grabbed it by its pod, shoved your finger in his bung hole, and the big bugger would have scampered off."
His lost wedding ring story is no croc...
Pieter Abrahamse has an original excuse for a lost wedding ring: a crocodile ate it, along with the arm it was attached to.
The 47-year-old farm manager had the lower part of his left arm torn off in the attack last Thursday on a citrus plantation in South Africa's northern Limpopo province. "He took my wedding ring, I suppose he ate it up," Abrahamse told Reuters by telephone from his hospital Monday as he recounted his life-or-death struggle with a man-eating reptile.
Man-eating reptile??? I didn't even know that Hillary Clinton was in South Africa!
"I took my horse for an evening swim in one of the farm dams. There are lots of crocs and hippos in the area but they move around all the time, from dam to dam and into the river and out again," he said.
"I was on the lookout for hippos and didn't see any. It slipped my mind that there might be crocodiles," he said.
He was standing belly-deep in water about 5 metres from the shore when he felt a biting jolt in his left hip. He said thought it was a hippo but quickly realized it was a crocodile.
"I started to fight immediately. So I hit him with my left arm and then he went for my left forearm," Abrahamse said.
"It pulled me under the water for a few seconds and I knew this was his biggest advantage. I realized if I didn't stand up my wife will never find me again," he said. Somehow, he managed to stumble to his feet and then he felt the crocodile lose its grip.
Mass killer too psychotic for execution
ALLENTOWN, Pennsylvania --
George E. Banks is delusional, psychotic and has no capacity to assist in his own defense, Luzerne County President Judge Michael Conahan ruled Monday.
Banks picked up his AR-15 semiautomatic rifle on September 25, 1982, and began shooting. He killed seven children -- five of them his own, along with his three live-in girlfriends, an ex-girlfriend, her mother and a bystander in the street.
Too psychotic????????????!!!!!!!!!! Lets all hope that Judge Michael Conahan chokes to death on his next slice of toast. WHAP!!!!! What an idiot!!
Tuesday, 28, 2006 Are the Olympics over?
Is there anyone who actually cares anymore??? I watched zero point zero, zero, zero seconds!!!! I got a perfect 10 on my non-mount!!!
Who's Going to Want Grandma's Hoard Of Antique Gnomes?
In Graytown, Ohio, 51-year-old Doug Martin has amassed a collection of 5,000 pencils, most of them never used. Some date back to the 1800s.
He sometimes wonders what will become of his prized collection when he dies.
My guess is that his grandkids wouldn't even know what a pencil was!!
Young people today have little interest in the stamp, coin or knickknack collections of their elders.
My guess is because none of it will fit in a rolling paper!!!!
Government educations at work!! They are too stupid to see the potential cash that is sitting in their hands!!
A collectibles researcher in Vera Cruz, Pa., Mr. Rinker, 64, himself collects everything from jigsaw puzzles to antique toilet paper.
Antique toilet paper??? What in the hell is that?? Was this guy sifting
through outhouses at the OK CORRAL???
Why and how do cats purr?
Even more, who cares??
No one
knows for sure why a domestic cat purrs, but many people interpret the sound
as one of contentment. Our understanding of how a domestic cat purrs is
becoming more Kittens learn how to purr when they are a couple of days old. Veterinarians suggest that this purring tells ‘Mom’ that “I am okay” and that “I am here.”
It tells me, "I'm here, I'm annoying, and I should immediately be tossed into the dryer!!"
Monday, 27, 2006
Thieves take $26,380 worth of beer
Thousands of cans and bottles of Miller Genuine Draft and Miller Light, valued at $26,380, were removed from a semi-trailer found abandoned at an Oak Creek truck stop earlier this week, authorities said today.
ho in their right minds would steal Miller Beer?
If I were going to take that kind of risk, Miller
would damn near be my last pick! Right behind,
'Bubba's - this stuff in this jug kinda smells like beer'.
That is exactly the same amount of the weekly delivery to the Kennedy Compound. Fat Ted couldn't be reached for belch.... eerrrr... I mean, comment!
Man refuses to wear electronic monitor
An Iowa sex offender who belongs to a church that believes electricity is evil has asked a judge to exempt him from wearing an electronic monitor.
I know, fellow Shovelers--- That line just made you put a white-knuckle grip on your spade!!!
This dirt bag, Scott Smith was given a short jail sentence and five years probation for molesting two teenage girls. He should have been given a nice good, long, hard stroke from a cold hard SHOVEL!!
At a hearing Thursday, Ron Livingston, leader of the Brotherhood, testified that electricity can cause people to disobey God.
Obviously, this putz has not seen the light.
This Ron Livingston clown is claiming that the electronic monitor could harm Smith's children. Why would a judge even entertain that claim for one single second?? The judge, one Sherm Phipps, hasn't done anything to Scott Smith, even though Smith is refusing to wear the monitor.
A social worker testified that she believes Smith is unlikely to commit another crime.
So freaking what!!! Does this idiot 'social worker' not think that we should make this guy pay for his first crime???? Some people are just too damn stupid to have a say so in anything!! And, for some reason, the press always seems to find them for a quote, sound bite, etc!! WHAP!!
Anyway, this a-hole should be rapidly acquainted with electricity, via a nicely wired chair and a metal cap on his head! Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!! Say goodnight, Gracie!!!
The skull and bones of a local man that were first found by a dog were identified Thursday.
Investigators discovered the bones and clothes of 50-year-old Kevin Smetzer in a heavily wooded area near 5007 SW 46th St. after a Gainesville resident found a skull in his yard Wednesday morning, said Sgt. Keith Faulk, spokesman for the Alachua County Sheriff's Office.
"Detectives feel confident based on interviews with neighbors, canvassing that they did and along with identification found, that the remains are his," Faulk said.
Faulk said there were no indications of foul play or criminal activity. James Hansen discovered the skull when he went outside to feed his mixed Labrador, Cujo.
Hansen said Cujo also dug up another bone he thought was a cow leg four days prior to finding the skull.
Steven King ducked cameras and said,' no comment'.
"It scared the daylights out of me," Hansen said. "When I called 911, the operator said, 'What's your emergency?' and I said, 'I've got a human skull in my front yard.'
Didn't Cato Calin make that same sort of call??? Well, lets take that back, he had 2 skulls.
Hansen said Smetzer's landlord found a suicide note last June on his door but did not think much of it because Smetzer had shown suicidal tendencies for years.
Ok, guys. Did we all just read that????
This guy ignored a suicide note because the dude had shown suicidal tendencies for years??????? What ever happened to logic?
It's hard out here for a censor
The nominated tune "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp" from "Hustle & Flow" with music and lyric by Jordan Houston ("Juicy Jay"), Cedric Coleman ("Freysier Boy") and Paul Beauregard ("Deejay Paul") has, by my count, 10 repeated words which would not pass network clearances. They are "fuck," "shit" and "niggaz."
Producer Gil Cates says when he informed the trio that those words would have to be changed, they immediately told him they'd alter 'em. Meanwhile, Cates said "bitch" and "ho's" are ok since they're already heard on network shows.
WHAP!! Whatever. Music today is pretty much crap! Rap is crap. Who nominates this s**t??!?!!! I hope all evolved parties come own with an Ungodly rectal itch!
Bitch and ho's is ok??!!?? Why is that?
Isn't it odd how the disrespect is coming from the 'group' who spends all their time claiming that they are being disrespected???!!!??!!!
Maddening!! You can't have respect for someone who doesn't have it for themselves. WHAP!!! Yep, I said it. If you have a problem with it - go shovel yourself.... Or go have a sit down with Bill Cosby.
Friday, 24, 2006
Flier Describes T-Shirts As 'Wife-Beaters'
Building 19, a discount store known for its quirky sales circulars, described a package of sleeveless T-shirts as "wife-beaters" in a recent sales flier.
Bobby Brown screamed, 'what you talking about, biyotch???!!!?"
The flier advertised a three-pack of men's undershirts as "wife-beaters".
"That does, you know, go to numbing and dumbing down and normalizing and suggesting that battering is a normal behavior," Lauby said.
Ike Turner said, "you damn right! What does Love got to do with it?"
Building 19 spokesman Jerry Ellis took the criticism seriously.
"They were right. It was awful and I am sorry it happened," Ellis said. E-mails came into the discount store's Hingham headquarters where everyone was apologetic.
What ever. WHAP!!!!!!
Thirst for beer leads to charges
Two men who police say resorted to robbery after they couldn't talk a store clerk into selling them beer after hours were arrested Monday before drinking the first sip.
Ted Kennedy was seen running though the woods.
Sheriff Charles Jett said deputies showed up at the 7-Eleven at 552 White Oak Road just as the frightened clerk was putting the beer into a bag. The suspects were taken into custody without further incident.
Jett said deputies went to the store after receiving a 911 hang-up early Monday. When dispatchers called the store back, they became suspicious of the clerk's tone of voice.
The clerk later told police that two men entered the store after midnight and tried to purchase beer. The clerk refused to sell it, even after they pressured her repeatedly to do so, Jett said.
At one point, the men offered to pay her extra for the beer. Still, she wouldn't sell it. Finally, one of the men reached into his jacket pocket as if he had a weapon. He ordered the clerk to place the beer in a bag, and she complied.
Reports say that he claimed to be Ted Kennedy's nephew, and then drowned her in the near by creek.
Actress and model Vida Guerra poses as she arrives as a guest at the premiere of the new comedy film 'Madea's Family Reunion' in Hollywood February 22, 2006. The film, based on Tyler Perry's stage production of the same name, follows the adventures of southern matriarch Madea and her family.
Wednesday, 22, 2006 Army hunting 'Donkey Dong'
AUSTRALIAN military police are hunting for a well endowed serial flasher nicknamed "Donkey Dong" who is terrorizing underwear salespeople.
The supposedly well-endowed flasher, who wears army uniform, has been labeled "Donkey Dong" by some city retailers.
Several clothing and sporting retail outlets in the Mitchell Centre have been targeted over the past six months by the unidentified pervert, who calls shop assistants into the change room to see if his tight underwear "fits".
"He has been in here four times and apparently he always tries on the same pair of red undies. I didn't really know what to say when he asked me if I thought they fitted him."
Aren't the morons in the press throwing the "terrorizing" word around just a bit too much? Madonna and Elton John would call this sort of incident a "job benefit!" WHAP!!!
The Main Bar Burns Down: Is Located Next to Fire Dept
SHOVELINE - MOUNT PLEASANT, Mich. A fire has destroyed a Mount Pleasant bar that had just celebrated its 44th anniversary.
This bar was right
across the street from the Mount Pleasant Fire Department. The smoke
was so heavy that it forced a nearby school to evacuate its students. Ted
Kennedy couldn't be sobered up for comment.
India's Rural Olympics Feature Unusual Sports
Far from the snow-covered Alps of the Winter Olympics in Italy, another sporting event has captured imaginations in rural India.
Everything from feats of strength to bull racing delighted crowds at the annual Rural Olympics -- a three-day-long sporting event that features a variety of unusual, and seldom seen, sports.
There was a bike-jumping cow and a man pulling a tractor with his teeth. But the bullock-cart races were the highlight of the games. The competitor stands on the back of a cart and holds on to two young bulls that race for the finish line.
Olympics my shovel! That sounds like your average 'Friday 25 cent beer night' at the local watering hole in Alabama!
Tuesday, 21, 2006 Doctors Bow Out of Calif. Execution
SHOVELLINE - SAN QUENTIN, Calif. - The execution of a condemned killer was postponed early Tuesday after two anesthesiologists refused for ethical reasons to take part, and attorneys pursued a new round of court challenges that could delay the execution indefinitely.
Michael Morales, 46, was supposed to die by lethal injection at 12:01 a.m. But the execution was put off until at least Tuesday night after the anesthesiologists objected that they might have to advise the executioner if the inmate woke up or appeared to suffer pain.
"Any such intervention would clearly be medically unethical," the doctors, whose identities were not released, said in a statement. "As a result, we have withdrawn from participation in this current process."
WHAP!! WHAP!! WHAP!! Get this, fellow Shovelers, these quacks withdrew because they think that the three-part lethal injection process violates the Eighth Amendment prohibition against cruel and unusual punishment.
The attorneys said a prisoner could feel excruciating pain from the last two chemicals if he wasn't fully sedated. Fully sedated??!!!??? What the hell happened to the hangman's noose or the guillotine or electric chair? Who gives a damn if this maggot feels any pain? Shouldn't the point be that he feels as much pain as possible?? Hell, I think he should be given a handful of placebos and then led out into the city square to be beat to death with a shovel!
This is a very long
article, and the sad part is that they wait until almost the very end before
telling us why this scumbag is sitting on death row. He attacked a 17-year-old
girl with a hammer, then stabbed her before leaving to die half-naked in a
vineyard. They should tie him to the ground and shove raw sausages up his
butt, then release a pack of starved pit bulls on him! Oh, and by the
way.... he has been living off the tax payers since 1983.
Drunk Teen Found Wrapped In Blanket; 5 Cited
Eight Summit High School students were cited for underage consumption after police found an intoxicated male wrapped in a blanket, face down on the front patio of a home, police said.
Citations were issued to five 17-year-old students and three 18-year-old students, according to a police report. Police said they found several bottles of liquor and beer, including three-and-a-half empty cases of beer, along with empty bottles of orange vodka, wine, and rum.
A safe haven law passed by the Legislature last year provides limited immunity for underage drinkers who call 911 to get help for someone who's had too much to drink. It also requires staying with the person until help arrives and cooperation with police and paramedics at the scene.
The law is playfully known as the Kennedy Bill. Which he has yet to be sober enough to legibly sign.
Colombian couple coo over big baby
After what the mother termed a "rather complicated" pregnancy a Colombian couple are cooing over the birth of baby daughter Arancha, who weighed in at a whopping 15.4 pounds.
Why do I get the feeling that all my female Shovelers just grabbed their crotches and formed their OWWW faces?
Arancha thudded into the lives of parents Rosario and Juan Carlos, Colombian immigrants living in Colmenar Viejo on the outskirts of Madrid, on February 13 in what Madrid's La Paz hospital termed "an unprecedented event."
Wow! 15 pounds. I think that is only about 2 pounds lighter than Calista Flockhart!
Man arrested after meth found at AMC
A man was arrested at
Austin Medical Center Monday after custodial staff found a large quantity of
methamphetamine in a restroom.
Two AMC staff found a Ziploc bag containing 44 grams of meth in several individually wrapped packages in the restroom waste basket.
This
scenario has Darwin written all over it! Lets all assume that most of these
people have gone as far as they are going to in life. Monday, 20, 2006 Rock, Paper, Scissors - Shoot!
The
combatants face each other over a high-top table as a crowd of beer drinkers
shout encouragement. The referee, a curvy brunette in a tight black T-shirt,
clenches a manicured hand and calls out: "Ready? One! Two! Three! Shoot!"
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complete; most scientists agree that the larynx (voice box),
laryngeal muscles, and a neural oscillator are involved.
