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Tuesday, 31,
2007
Scientists breed world’s first mentally ill
mouse
SCIENTISTS have
created the world’s first schizophrenic mice in an attempt to gain a better
understanding of the illness.
Half of the mice
immediately moved to Washington and formed an exploratory committee to see
if they should make a run for the Senate. The other half went to Hollywood,
bought a huge bag of blow and registered themselves as - 'actors'.
It is believed to
be the first time an animal has been genetically engineered to have a mental
illness. Until now they have been bred only for research into physical
conditions such as heart disease. It will allow researchers to study the
disease and develop treatments using a limitless supply of laboratory
animals.
Mike Vick saw
dollar signs at the thought of a limitless supply of schizophrenic mice for
mouse fighting.
Animal rights
campaigners have condemned the research, saying that it is morally repugnant
to create an animal doomed to mental suffering.
I agree. Why make
the mice suffer when we can experiment on the mentally ill animal rights
activist??
The mice were
created by modifying their DNA to mimic a mutant gene first found in a
Scottish family with a high incidence of schizophrenia, which affects about
one in every 100 people. The mice’s brains were found to have features
similar to those of humans with schizophrenia, such as depression and
hyperactivity.
Crazy people have a
brain that is similar to that of a mouse? Imagine that!
Your car has a sensor that tells you
when you've left the headlights on or
the keys in the ignition. It probably
has another reminding you and your
passengers to buckle your seat belts,
and still another that sounds when the
door is ajar. Some cars even to tell you
when the tires need inflating.
But so far, there's no standard
equipment to tell you that you've left a
child in the back seat of a hot car.
Well, no F**KING, DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!! What
sort of a responsible mother needs a
f**king car alarm to remind them that
they have left their CHILD in the
car???!?!??! My mom might have forgotten
about her keys, but she never would
forgotten - or needed a reminder - that
she had just walked off and left her son
in the car!!!!!!! What the hell is going
on in this world???
"How many people died because their keys
were left in the ignition, headlights
left on?" asks Janette Fennell, who
tracks hot-car deaths as president and
founder of Kids and Cars. "They have the
opportunity to eradicate this as a cause
of injury and death to children for a
relatively low cost."
Huh?? These are the ramblings of a
logically impaired IDIOT!
"The issue is not the technology; the
issue is getting it to market," says Jan
Null, a San Francisco-area meteorologist
who also tracks child hot-car deaths.
No. Dumbass, idiot, who could never win
a game of CLUE!
The issue is not getting the technology
to the market. The issue is stopping
carefree, moron, dirt bag, low I.Q.,
pieces of crap - who see another
child as a free pass to more government
money - from breeding.
WHAP!! Sew them shut!
Panda poop to be recycled into
souvenirs
Nothing says "I love you" like a photo frame made
from panda poop.
The
Chengdu Giant Panda Breeding Base has come up with a dung-for-profit
scheme that turns droppings from the endangered species into odor-free
souvenirs ranging from bookmarks to Olympic-themed statues of the animals,
state media and base officials said Monday.
Dung-for-profit scheme?? Isn't that what
Michael Moore's movies are? WHAP!!!!
"They don't smell too bad
because 70 percent of the dung is just remains of
the bamboo that the pandas are unable to digest,"
Jing said.
Who pays good money for
something that doesn't 'smell too bad'???
Well, other than Rosie O'
Fat's agent. WHAP!!!!!!!!!
Our country is
dying. It has a cancer - called political correctness. Just click this link
and read. I was going to rant, but I can't see my monitor from the steam
that is now coming out of my ears!! WHAP!
Monday, 30, 2007
Probe Opens In Chopper Collision
A federal probe is set to open on Saturday after two television station
helicopters tracking a high-speed police pursuit in central Phoenix collided
in midair and crashed to the ground, killing all four people on board.
A three-member team from the National Transportation Safety Board is set
to start its investigation at Steele Indian School Park where wreckage from
the two helicopters is strewn across several acres.
Sorry, I can't help but
laugh.
I love it that some of these overbearing media vultures, who are
hoping to capture a death on film, end up killing themselves in the process.
The ironic part is
that they then had 3 helicopters flying over the two wrecked
helicopters just to get some footage of the crash.
'eat
your own!'
It's too bad that two of them didn't collide and
crash.
One thing you will notice, unlike any other accidental death, they
didn't rush to jam a camera in a grieving family members face.
I hate the media.
Qatar sheikh delays BA plane over seating
A Qatar sheikh held up a British Airways flight at Milan's Linate
airport for nearly three hours after discovering three of his female
relatives had been seated next to men they did not know.
Are we sick of Islam yet, or not???!!!???
They are so peaceful and understanding aren't they? Not! WHAP!
He is a sheikh! Why isn't this putz on his
own private plane?
When none of the other business class passengers agreed to swap seats,
the sheikh, a member of Qatar's ruling family, went to the pilot, who had
already started the engine, to complain, an airport official said.
Good for the
passengers! If I had been on that plane, I would have stood up and shown him
the part of my anatomy that he could go 'Linda Lovelace' on!
But the pilot ordered him and his
traveling companions, the three women,
two men, a cook and a servant, off the plane.
I can just hear the
passengers standing ovation right now.
The London-bound flight took off nearly three hours behind schedule on
Thursday evening and around 50 of the 115 passengers missed connecting
flights.
I hope they sue his
camel-humping ass off!!
Traditions in the conservative Gulf Arab region bar women from mixing
with unrelated men.
Huh??
"traditions......bar women from mixing with unrelated men." This must
lead to pure inbreeding. No wonder those weird beards are so f**king screwed
up and angry! WHAP! Try humping something that didn't pop out of your aunt.
That Dropped Doughnut: How Soon, and How Often, Will
It Come Back Up?
Last month, scientists at Clemson University in
South Carolina determined that applying the five-second rule to dropped
food will not actually prevent the food from gathering bacteria.
The nation's reaction to this: Duh.
Shovel Nation's reaction
to this: No S**T!!!
The five-second rule. If you've never heard of it, ask any sixth-grader.
"It means that if you drop something on the ground, you can still eat it
if you pick it up in five seconds," says Kiara Hopkins, 11.
If you spend your last dollar on something, the germs will give you a
break and leave it alone for an extra 10 seconds, or until you can pick
it back up.
Consider the results of another recent study, conducted at
Connecticut College. Unlike Dawson's study, which measured how quickly
bacteria could slather itself on food, the
Connecticut research measured the likelihood of the slathering. Two
biology majors spent a week dropping Skittles and apple slices in their
cafeteria and concluded that it took an average of 30 to 60 seconds for
bacteria to form on the food.
This is what researchers
are putting precious research time into?
I guess this is all
that they have to do since they found the cure for cancer.
ummmm... well, no. Hold on........
I wonder if they
factored in George
Costanza's
éclair in the trashcan rule?
Homer Simpson had
no comment.
Friday, 27, 2007
Missing from 'Harry Potter' – a
real moral struggle
By Jenny Sawyer
If literature
truly reflects society, then the end of the Harry Potter series spells
trouble for us all.
Because, after
10 years, 4,195 pages, and over 325 million copies,
J.K. Rowling's towering achievement lacks the cornerstone of
almost all great children's literature: the hero's moral journey.
To be clear:
This isn't a critique of Ms. Rowling's values. It's a recognition of a
disturbing trend in commercial storytelling and Western society.
Jenny Sawyer is
a freelance writer and children's literature critic.
"This isn't a
critique" .... ummm.... she is right! It isn't. It is a slam from a
talent-less hack.
Lets face it
Shovelers, little miss Jenny - "freelance writer" is angry because she
couldn't write anything that would sell 325 copies - much less 325
million copies! WHAP!
The "hero's
moral journey"??? 'Western society" ????
I suggest that
she read " Hop On Pop".
Accused Grave Robbers Dodge Sex
Charges
Put this one in
your cranium and massage it around.
Three men who
dug up a young woman's corpse to have sex with it after seeing her
obituary photo cannot be charged with attempted sexual assault because
Wisconsin has no law against necrophilia, an appeals court ruled
Thursday.
A judge was
correct to dismiss the charges against twin brothers Nicholas and
Alexander Grunke and Dustin Radke, all 21, because lawmakers never
intended to criminalize sex with a corpse, the District 4 Court of
Appeals said in a 3-0 ruling.
There is more -
click the link. Me, I'm going to go pour bleach in my ears.
Have a great
weekend.
Thursday, 26, 2007
Authorities: Man Arrested After
Making Excessive 911 Calls
A man has been
charged with making false 911 calls. Authorities say he made 292 false
911 calls since the beginning of the month.
Hold on! It
took 292 calls before they did anything??
This is your
worthless government employees at work here, guys!
292 calls?
WHAP!!! Shouldn't they have been on it after... ohhhh....... false
call number 3??
Authorities
said 21-year-old Cheveon Alonzo Ford was arrested Tuesday.
Authorities
said Ford told deputies he made the calls because he didn't have any
minutes on his phone and that 911 is a free call.
Darwin is
sitting in a corner - violating himself like a crazed monkey, thinking,
"......he will be mine, very ,very soon!"
Wednesday, 25,
2007
USDA sent $1.1B to deceased
farmers
The Agriculture
Department sent $1.1 billion in farm payments to more than 170,000 dead
people over a seven-year period, congressional investigators say.
170,000 dead
people? That is less than twice of all the dead people that vote for
Democrats every election. This government needs to get its corpses in a
row. WHAP!
The findings by
the
Government Accountability Office were released Monday as the
House prepared to debate and pass farm legislation this week that would
govern subsidies and the department's programs for the next five years.
Hold on! Did I
really just read that? The
Government Accountability Office!??????? That is such a joke! If
our government were actually held accountable, the halls of Washington,
D.C. would be as empty as the space between Al Franken's left and right
ear. WHAP!
Of the
identified payments to deceased farmers' estates or businesses, 40
percent went to those who had been dead more than three years, and 19
percent went to those who had been dead for seven or more years.
Senate
Agriculture Committee Chairman
Tom Harkin, D-Iowa, said the report bolsters the argument there
should be lower ceilings and stricter limits on farm subsidies.
"Given
extremely tight budget restraints, it is no longer tolerable to permit
billions of dollars in farm bill payments to go to individuals who in
instances don't even farm or are no longer alive," he said.
Extremely tight
budget restraints??? Our government will never know what a tight budget
is.
Those out of
touch freaks spend money like a kept woman, and will not be on a budget
until the productive people in this country decide to stop producing.
And if that happens, most of them will leave because the office will no
longer be as attractive as it once was.
Anyway, think
about it, they are paying farmers not to grow corn while the prices of
corn are rising due to the increase of the governments attempt to
mandate the use of things like ethanol.
We are going to
pay you not to grow the very thing that we want more of.
IDIOTS!!! Our
government sucks!
DOZY BURGLAR JAILED AFTER LEAVING
ID DETAILS AT SCENE
Dozy burglar Larry Black dropped a
probation office appointment card at the scene of his
crime, a judge has been told. Police found his name and
address and his fingerprints, said Brian Simpson,
prosecuting at Swansea Crown Court.
But before police could find him, he was arrested for an
entirely different crime.
Black, 21, of Paviland Place, Portmead, Swansea,
admitted burglary, theft, taking a vehicle without
permission, possessing a small quantity of heroin and
various motoring offences.
My guess is.... this guy won't be
needing his probation card for a while.
Also, Darwin is looking at his list,
and checking it twice.
And, licking his lips.
Monday, 24, 2007
Sister of 9/11 victim sues over
pipe explosion
A Brooklyn
woman has filed the first lawsuit against Consolidated Edison following
last week's steam pipe explosion in Manhattan.
Francine Dorf,
who says she was a victim of the explosion, is seeking punitive damages,
her lawyer, Kenneth Mollins of Melville, said Monday.
Dorf's sister
was killed in the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, Mollins said, and
when a steam pipe burst at Lexington Avenue and 41st Street last
Wednesday, Dorf feared she would meet the same fate.
I will bet you
guys money -.she isn't afraid of the same fate. She is just looking for
some free money. I will bet you!!! I will search deeper and let you
know.
How sick, and
sue happy of a society have we become??
This freak
needs to be popped in the face with a shovel. She is after money and her
lawyer is telling her that he can get it. This has nothing to do with
9/11 or Consolidated.
It is about
money.
"Can I get some
free money?"
Your government
will always say yes.
Does your senator support voter
fraud?
On the Senate floor right now,
members just finished voting on an amendment to a
student loan bill that would require voters to show
photo ID at the polls. You know, so
illegal aliens and other
ineligible people don’t undermine the integrity of
the election process.
The amendment
failed 42-54.
Not a single
Democrat voted for a proof of I.D. This is just proof that all the
Democrats' care about are votes. "Screw the law, as long as I get the
vote!" WHAP!
Votes, votes,
votes. I know both parties are obsessed with them, but the Dem's are
pushing it to an immoral level.
Vote
anti-incumbent in the primaries!
Monday, 23, 2007
Elvis License Plate Meets
Pre-Order Goal
Some fans
wanting a state-issued Elvis Presley license plate are getting a free
ride thanks to an anonymous donor in New Jersey who covered the $35
specialty fee.
Thank you,
thank you very much.
The state
requires 1,000 people to pre-order and pay the fees for new specialty
license plates before production begins. If a plate fails to garner the
needed pre-order amount by a certain date, it will not be produced.
The Elvis
plate, which benefits the Elvis Presley Memorial Trauma Center at the
Regional Medical Center at Memphis, was about 100 buyers shy of meeting
the benchmark, even after receiving an extension on its deadline.
The New Jersey
fan anonymously donated the $3,500 needed to cover the final 100
pre-ordered plates after hearing about the car tag's troubles on Sirius
satellite radio's Elvis program hosted by longtime Presley friend George
Klein.
The next big
story - people yelling and whining about how the free tags are
distributed.
Tammie Ritchey,
executive director of the hospital's foundation, The Med Foundation,
said Wednesday the donor wanted to express her love of Presley through
the kind of charitable donation the rocker was known for in his
lifetime.
Huh? He didn't
just give a liscnese plate, he gave the entire freaking car!
Suspicious device was weather
station
The suspicious device blown up by a State Police Bomb Squad Thursday
evening turned out to be a weather station.
It happened outside the Medical Office Building on the east side of
Lewis Gale Medical Center. We were told a visitor contacted authorities
after seeing a suspicious object hanging from a tree.
Authorities brought out a robot to check it. The device was blown up
around 7:00 p.m. At no time was the hospital or any other buildings at
Lewis Gale evacuated.
Friday afternoon, Salem Police said the package was actually a remote
weather station. A hospital employee had attached it to the tree and
used putty to weather-proof it. Police say no criminal charges will be
filed.
" Hey,
Chief, what's that thing over there?"
"I have no freaking idea, but I say we blow it up just to be safe. Them
robot things are pretty dang cool, and I likes me some explosions!"
I guess the
local forecast calls for a dense fog of stupidity and a mist of
overreacting idiots.
I hope they
make the officers pay for a new weather station out of their own
pockets. Duh! WHAP!!
South
Portland wrestles with illegal yellow ribbons
SHOVELLINE -SOUTH PORTLAND, Maine -- A city
resolution allowing yellow ribbons to hang on utility poles expired
nearly three months ago.
But the ribbons
are still hanging, and the city is getting complaints from people who
say they amount to political statements in support of the war in Iraq.
A political
statement??!!!??? I guarantee you all the protestors are liberals who
rarely work, or bathe.
The ribbon has
nothing to do with politics. The ribbons represent hope that a soldier
comes home safe. Stinking libs! They can't get anything right.
Acting City
Manager Jim Gailey said one possible solution would be to create a
monument for past and present service members where people could leave
as many ribbons, wreaths and flags as they want without offending other
residents.
What a putz. If
you build that monument, the same anti-war freaks, who don't want the
ribbons on the poles, will just show up and festoon the monument with
little tombstones, caskets and body bags - and then they will scream
like banshees if you try to tell them that they couldn't do it. After
that, you will once again capitulate and allow them to have their way.
Our government is overrun with spineless rectum lickers.
CMP spokesman
John Carroll said the ribbons pose a safety hazard for linemen who could
snag their climbing hooks on the ribbons. They also encourage other
people to post fliers with tacks and staples that could puncture
workers' rubber gloves, putting them at risk of electrocution, Carroll
said.
"We wish they
would respect our rights," he said. "It's private property."
Note to CMP,
what ever CMP is, if you are going to have a spokesman - do your best
not to hire a blithering idiot!
Utility poles
are not "private property!! WHAP!!!!!!
Official won't budge on tattooists
A member of Currituck's Board of
Adjustment is sticking with his belief that tattoo studios need to be
restricted from opening near homes — despite calls for his removal for
differing with county commissioners on the issue.
Bryan Bass said he hasn't changed
his interpretation of the county's zoning ordinances that tattoo studios
are adult businesses, even if a majority of commissioners disagree with
him.
"How dare someone do something
that I don't agree with?!"
Typical politician! Power
hungry MAGGOT!!
According to Currituck's zoning
ordinances, an adult business is defined as "any business activity, club
or other establishment which permits its employees, members, patrons or
guests on its premises to exhibit any specified anatomical areas before
any other person or persons."
So, I guess
doctors offices, fitness centers and public swimming pools should be
shut down. Duh! Duh! Duh!
The law says "exhibit" not
"expose". People getting tattoos "expose" anatomical areas, they don't
"exhibit" them. The courts should shovel down this ordinance in about
.0001 seconds. Then they should tell this zealot to go take a long nap
in a pine box.
Friday, 20, 2007
Showing skin gives new company
boost in business
Showing skin is giving one start-up company a boost in business. Tiger Time
Lawn Care has been on the books for only three months but their offer to cut
lawns in bikinis is already catching on.
Ladies are cutting lawns wearing bikinis, showing their bodies and offering
more attention to your lawn than it's ever seen.
21-year-old Beckman said cutting grass in her bikini beats her former jobs
as a waitress and a clerk at family dollar.
They
call themselves Tiger Time Lawn Care and they'll send the shapely tigers in
bikinis for a slightly higher fee than a normal grass cut.
"We
had a couple of customers sitting in lawn chairs drink beer just enjoying
the bikini cut," said Tiger Time Owner Lee Cathey.
Sing
with me, Shovelers, "God bless America......"
I
wonder, do they
trim the bushes, too? Sorry.
'Fat' could become
'normal' in America by 2015
If Americans keep
gaining weight at the current rate, fat will be the norm by 2015, with 75
per cent of US adults overweight and 41 percent obese, researchers have
predicted.
If Michael Moore
keeps eating he will probably weigh 2,015 by the end of 2007.
A team at Johns
Hopkins University in Baltimore examined 20 studies published in journals
and looked at national surveys of weight and behavior for their analysis,
published in the journal Epidemiologic Reviews.
"Obesity is a
public health crisis. If the rate of obesity and overweight continues at
this pace, by 2015, 75 per cent of adults and nearly 24 per cent of US
children and adolescents will be overweight or obese," Dr. Youfa Wang, who
led the study, said in a statement.
Fast food waves a
victory flag in Richard Simmons' face.
Thursday, 19,
2007
Teens allegedly taunt hippos and
survive
Rosie O'Fat and her
beast mate??
The
Kansas City Zoo plans to press charges against two teenage boys who
allegedly climbed into the hippo exhibit and threw rocks at the two-ton
mammals, zoo officials said.
A 14-year-old
witness spotted the boys Monday as the hippos were becoming angry and
charging. The boys, whose identities were not released, survived the
encounter without injuries.
Darwin shook his
head, put his thumb and first finger together, and said, "Missed by this
much! Damn!"
Randy Wisthoff, the
zoo director, said the boys, both 14, are from
St. Louis and were apparently trying to impress a girl.
This is how kids
try and impress girls these days? This world is going down the toilet.
Wednesday, 18,
2007
Toledo mom pleads guilty to having sex with son
A Toledo mother pleaded guilty this morning to sexual
battery for having sex with her adult son.
Terry Walker, 54, of 3527 East Manhattan Blvd., agreed
to plead guilty to the third-degree felony and there will now be a hearing
to determine the level of her sexual offender registration.
When she is sentenced Aug. 23, Walker could face a
maximum of five years in prison. Toledo police said she had engaged in a
long-term sexual relationship with her son, Kevin Ware, 28.
Mr. Ware is in jail and faces rape charges for having
sexual contact with a 7-year-old girl.
This is one of those stories that makes you gaze to
the heavens and ask, "Why?"
They have a picture of her, but I am warning
you.....don't click on the link, unless you enjoy dry heaving!
Tuesday, 17,
2007
Survey: 1 in 12 U.S. workers using drugs
One in 12 full-time workers in the United States acknowledges having used
illegal drugs in the past month, the government reports.
In related news - 1 in 12 workers complain that they
are not paid enough. ummmm, could there be a correlation. You just
wait until Unions adopt bong-breaks.
Most of those who report using illicit drugs are employed full-time, with
the highest rates among restaurant workers, 17.4%, and construction workers,
15.1%, according to a federal study being released Monday. About 4% of
teachers and social service workers reported using illegal drugs in the past
month, which was among the lowest rates.
Federal officials said the newest survey is a snapshot and was not
designed to show whether illicit drug usage in the workplace is a growing
problem or a lessening one. The current usage rate is 8.2%. Two previous
government surveys reflected a usage rate of 7.6% in 1994 and 7.7% in 1997,
but those studies involved a much smaller sample of interviews.
The latest study comes from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health
Administration, an agency within the Health and Human Services Department.
The data is drawn from the agency's annual surveys in 2002, 2003 and 2004 of
the civilian, non-institutionalized population. Each survey included
interviews with more than 40,000 people, who were each paid $30 to
participate.
One in 12 full-time workers in the United States acknowledges having used
illegal drugs in the past month, the government reports.
The latest study comes from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health
Administration. The data is drawn from the agency's annual surveys in 2002,
2003 and 2004.
Huh? WHAP! Did I actually just read that? Only our government could report
LAST MONTH from surveys that are 3 years old.
Do you use drugs Danny?
Every day.
Good.
Monday, 16, 2007
Mom Arrested for Allegedly
Treating Son's Fatal Head Injury With Popsicle
Today's story of a woman who should be sewn shut, brought to
you from ARLINGTON, Texas,
A
24-year-old Texas mother is in jail after she treated her
2-year-old son's head injury with a Popsicle instead of
calling 9-1-1.
Ebony
Thorne's son Joshua later died of the injury.
Arlington police said the boy fell eight feet down a
U-shaped stairwell in Thorne's apartment Wednesday morning.
Investigators said instead of calling for an ambulance,
Thorne placed a Popsicle on her son's head and put him to
bed.
When
the boy's father arrived later, he found Joshua
unresponsive. Police said he called Thorne's mother, who
drove to the apartment from Fort Worth and called 911.
Officers found bruises and marks around the toddler's head
and dried blood on his nose and mouth.
Thorne's charged with injury to a child by omission/criminal
negligence. Her 3-year-old son and 10-month-old girl were
returned to their grandmother, who had custody of all three
children.
I think we need
forced sterilization.
I, the Dean of
Shovels, propose a law demanding that every state start
pumping
birth control into their water supply. Then, if someone
wants to have a kid, make them pass a very stringent
I.Q. - and common sense - test before they can receive
the medication to reverse it. Problem solved!
Ok,
all bow at my brilliant feet. Now, my minions!
She wouldn't be black and on drugs would
she? Read more, if you
want.
‘Bigfoot’ search under way
SHOVELLINE - MARQUETTE, MICHIGAN —
The Bigfoot Field Research Organization hosted a media
conference Thursday in Chocolay Township as they began a local expedition to
search for evidence of the legendary creature often called “Bigfoot” or “Sasquatch.”
In
related news - There is positively no shortage of screwball freaks
here on earth!
About 20 residents came to a scenic turnout on M-28 to find out more about
the organization’s project, which will go on until Sunday. Also on hand for
the event were representatives from the Detroit News and Fox News as well as
local media. The Fox television crew planned to follow BFRO investigator
Matthew Moneymaker and his team on their search throughout the week.
Mathew Moneymaker? I think his
last name gives you an insight into his true motives.
About 55 or 60 team members came to the U.P. for the project, which involves
observation and recording in areas where “Bigfoot” encounters have been
reported.
Blah, blah...... This is Michigan, fellow Shovelers! Think about it --
if Bigfoot actually existed, and he happened to wander into Michigan, his
head would already be mounted on Ted Nugent's wall!!! BLAM!! Whap!!! WHAP!!
Deputy arrests man after beer can hits
patrol car
A man was arrested by
deputies after a beer can was thrown from his truck and hit a deputy's car
who was driving behind him, according to the Leon County Sheriff's Office.
Doughnuts, man. To
avoid being pulled over, always throw doughnuts.
The man was driving
down Capital Circle Northeast with a deputy right behind him. The beer can
flew out of his truck, hit the pavement and bounced onto the patrol car,
LCSO Lt. Marilee Smith said.
Deputy Charlie McClure
pulled the truck over and smelled alcohol on the driver's breath, Smith
said. When asked, the man admitted he had been drinking a 12-pack. He was
then arrested on charges of DUI.
The crying litter
Indian was on the scene, only this time his eyes were full of tears of
laughter.
Stupid neck!
Convict sues God for
broken contract
Ok, Shovelers. Get out your Valium and swallow a fist full of them before
reading this article. If you don't, the maddening inanity of it might cause
you to turn your shovel on yourself.
A man serving a 20-year sentence for murder has been
rebuffed so far in his effort to sue God for breach of contract by failing
to protect him from evil and turning him over to Satan who encouraged him to
kill.
I
guess that means that God would have to swear to tell the truth, the whole
truth and nothing but the truth, so help himself.
Pavel Mircea, 40, filed his lawsuit in the western
Romanian town of Timisoara, charging God with failure to fulfill an
agreement Micera alleged was made at his baptism.
"He was supposed to protect me from all evils and
instead he gave me to Satan who encouraged me to kill," he charged.
In the lawsuit, Mircea listed "God, resident in
heaven, represented in Romania by the Orthodox church" as the defendant,
according to the Romanian daily Evenimentul Zilei.
God's alleged dereliction, according to Mircea
including fraud, breach of trust, abuse of a position of authority and
misappropriation of goods – all crimes, the plaintiff noted, under the
Romanian criminal code.
Micera said that God had accepted his prayers and
sacrificial offerings without providing any services in return.
The Timisoara public prosecutor rejected the case,
saying God is not a person in the eyes of the law and does not have a legal
address where he could be served with court papers.
Well, duh!!!??!! Why didn't they just beat
him to death with a shovel the second he even mentioned filing this??
Freak!!
I bet if you gave this case to John Edwards, he could
find God's address. It would be at the corner of You Sue Avenue and
I get 85% of the Settlement Road.
Micera may get off lucky if his
case ends there.
As
WND reported, Italian atheist Luigi Cascioli was
ordered to pay a $1,900 judgment after a court ruled he had filed a
fraudulent suit against an Italian priest for saying Jesus Christ existed.
I hope, I pray that he has to pay the
fine, and I hope he has to work it off by charging $1 at a time for
prison-mates who are seeking to gain admission through the backdoor.
WHAP!!!!
Did
text-messaging lead to N.Y. crash?
Text messages were sent and received on a 17-year-old driver's cell phone
moments before the
sport utility vehicle slammed head-on into a truck, killing her and
four other recent high school graduates, police said.
Bailey Goodman was driving her friends to her
parents' vacation home when her SUV, which had just
passed a car, swerved back into oncoming traffic,
hit a tractor-trailer and burst into flames. Five
days earlier, the five teenagers had graduated
together from high school in
Fairport, a Rochester suburb.
Goodman's inexperience at the wheel; evidence she
was driving above the speed limit at night on a
winding, two-lane highway; and a succession of calls
and text messages on her phone were cited Friday by
Sheriff Phil Povero as possible factors in the June
28 crash in western New York.
Darwin text messaged, "OMG." Then asked, what was
the proper text shorthand for, "get out of the gene
pool"???
Friday, 13, 2007
Dramatic jump seen in
trampoline-related injuries
The number of
emergency room visits by children injured on trampolines has more than
doubled over the past decade, a new study shows.
There were just
over half a million such visits in the
U.S. in 2000-2005, compared to a quarter-million in 1990-1995, Dr.
James G. Linakis of Brown Medical School in
Providence, Rhode Island, and colleagues found.
Ummmm.... hey,
dumbass!! There are more kids with more trampolines - thus, the numbers go
up. I hate how people try and misrepresent numbers. This Doctor needs to be
beat to death with a Shovel.
Non-story....
Everyone keep moving. WHAP!
See you guys back
here on Monday!!!
Thursday, 12,
2007
Black shoppers sue Toys 'R' Us
for discrimination
Two black shoppers
have sued
Toys "R" Us saying they were subjected to racial discrimination and
unjustified scrutiny at a store in
New York.
Patricia Drayton and Valerie Kirk said in the
lawsuit that the store in
The Bronx, a borough of
New York City, discriminated against them by
asking them to show their sales receipts. The suit
was filed in
Manhattan Federal Court on Tuesday.
Drayton said in the lawsuit that she was stopped by a security guard
at the door of the store and asked to show her receipt. After refusing to do
so, she was made to wait while the employee checked with a cashier to see if
she had purchased the merchandise, the lawsuit said.
Why in God's name
would she refuse to show her receipt?????!! We know why, she is a black with
a chip on her shoulder and she thinks she can get some free money. Plain and
simple. Tell me I am wrong. Sorry.
They are seeking compensatory and punitive damages
of at least $200 million each on behalf of the
class.
$200 million for being asked to show a receipt??
This is a prime example of why we need a
looser pays system.
The attorney that took this case needs to be beat to
death with a shovel, and the chicks need to spend
the rest of their lives paying back Toys "R" Us
for their legal fees.
The race card is getting old - it won't be long
before the people who use it reach 'the boy who
cried wolf' status.
Joke Comprehension May Decrease With Age
A new psychology study at Washington University was no laughing matter:
It found that older adults may have a harder time getting jokes because of
an age-related decline in certain memory and reasoning abilities.
The research suggested that because older adults may have greater
difficulty with cognitive flexibility, abstract reasoning and short-term
memory, they also have greater difficulty with tests of humor comprehension.
What is 'humor comprehension'?
I guess something that is innately left out of liberal's genes.
How about this - when you get older you
lose control of your bowels, so you become bitter and you don't find anything
funny. Get of my yard!!!
The research conducted by graduate student Wingyun Mak and psychology
professor Brian Carpenter showed that the younger adults did 6 percent
better on the verbal jokes and 14 percent better on the comic portion than
did older participants, Mak said.
Participants had to respond to jokes like this one:
A businessman is riding the subway after a hard day at the office. A
young man sits down next to him and says, "Call me a doctor ... call me a
doctor."
The businessman asks, "What's the matter, are you sick?"
Participants then had to choose the right ending. For this one, the
correct answer was "I just graduated from medical school."
That isn't funny,
and I wouldn't even call it a joke, unless you are living in the 1930's
listening to Milton Berle on the radio.
What a mindless study!!!
By the way, my
answer would have been, "I'm trying to call - but I use Cingular....errrr
the new AT&T, and I keep getting dropped!" <fewest dropped called my ass!>
WHAP!!!!!
N.J. senator proposes
toy gun ban
A New Jersey
senator wants to make it illegal to sell or give to anyone under age 18 toy
guns that look so realistic they can be mistaken for a real firearm.
He wouldn't be a
Democrat, would he? Noooooo
Scutari, D-Union,
introduced the proposal in late June and plans to push it when the
Legislature reconvenes late this year. He said the bill stems from an
incident in a Union Township where four students were suspended after
bringing a cap gun to school.
A cap gun? Your
government thinking and acting. WHAP!!!!
"We need to stress
to our children that guns are not toys, but deadly weapons which should
always be regarded with extreme caution and handled with respect," Scutari
said. "Restricting access to imitation firearms will help to drive that
point home."
I would need a
degree in scatology to find any logic in that statement. No, Scutari, you
oaf! To drive the point home, put a real firearm in their hands, then make
them shoot it so they can actually see what it can do.
All the stuff going
on in Jersey and this is what Scrotumari is worried about. Go home,
man!
I hope that his
next press conference ends up with him being soaked to the bone by a bunch
of people carrying Super soakers!
Issue everyone a
shovel!
Wednesday, 11,
2007
Room, board and ammo: Tourists
'gopher it' in Sask.
"Gopher tourism" is
making inroads across the southern grain belt, with some farmers offering
free room, board and even free ammunition to anyone willing to kill the
voracious gophers gobbling up their crops.
"Correct me
if I'm wrong, but if I kill all the golfers, they're gonna lock me up and
throw away the key..."
Farmers near Swift
Current, Sask., are looking for tourists with guns to combat an infestation
they say is especially bad near Aneroid, Ponteix and Hazenmore.
Les Jordet, a mixed crop farmer near Hazenmore, has
opened his home to host visitors from Manitoba as
well as a group from B.C.
"I smell varmint
poontang, and the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I
think."
Judge unhappy with potential juror's
excuses
A
Cape Cod judge says he's never seen a more "brazen" attempt by an individual
to avoid jury duty.
Daniel Ellis of Falmouth claimed in a questionnaire filled out by potential
jurors that he didn't like homosexuals and blacks.
That
prompted a tense exchange yesterday between Ellis and Superior Court Judge
Gary Nickerson, during which Ellis also claimed that "I'm frequently found
to be a liar, too."
Frequent liar? He must be related to the Clinton's.
To
which the judge asked: "So, are you lying to me now?"
Ellis
responded: "Well, I don't know. I might be."
"That
depends on what your definition of 'lying' is." Right out of the Clinton
playbook.
Ellis
was 1 of 60 people called for potential service on a 23-member grand jury.
He later admitted that he really didn't want to serve on a jury and while he
did get his wish, he was briefly taken into custody and the judge referred
the case to prosecutors for possible perjury charges.
What
an idiot this guy is. Everyone involved should be happy that he isn't going
to be sitting on that jury. I bet he buys his underwear at garage sales.
WHAP!!!!
Tuesday, 10,
2007
Motorist snared by new law says
it's unfair
A 23-year-old
motorist who lost his license for three years under a little-publicized
provision of Tina's Law is crying foul.
Joe P. Dehetre of
Turner has a long and checkered driving record that includes 10 tickets for
speeding, one for failing to obey a traffic device and two for not wearing a
seat belt. But he hadn't had a moving violation in 15 months when he rolled
through a stop sign in Januaruary..
That ticket,
however, triggered a section of Tina's Law that labels anyone with 10 moving
violations in five years a habitual offender. It doesn't matter if nine of
them occurred before last summer's enactment of the law inspired by serial
bad driver Scott Hewitt, who crashed into and killed a woman on the Maine
Turnpike.
His mother, Alison
Dehetre, has been driving him to and from his construction job and has made
calls to the Secretary of State's Office and to legislators.
"He gets so
frustrated and wound up, he cries, he yells," she said.
Waaaaaa... there is
a thing called 'consequences for your actions', look it up, pud-boy! He
cries and yells? Take him out in the yard grab your shovel and really give
him something to cry and yell about! WHAP!!!!!
She said she
supports Tina's Law but thinks it should target people operating after
suspension, like Hewitt, not people with moving violations, like her son.
"Some guy killed
somebody and now I have to deal with it," he said.
Hello??? Dick | 
