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 SITE OF THE MONTH
       MARCH 2004

Friday, 29, 2007

Sex on the cards for brothel spies

'Hot' Wienermobile Stopped in Arizona

Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer ... car thief?

An Arizona Highway Patrol officer who ran the Wienermobile's plates as the vehicle traveled for a promotion briefly thought the giant hot dog on wheels was, well, hot.

What kind of bored A-hole cop runs the plates on a damn Wienermobile?? He must have needed to ketchup on his monthly quotas! WHAP!!!!

The plate came back as stolen. Lankow pulled over the Wienermobile, and two more officers arrived to help.

Two more officers? They didn't show up to help, they showed up hoping to get some free juicy dog samples. I'm sure they grilled the guys for hours!

It turns out someone had indeed stolen the "Y-U-M-M-Y" plate off the Wienermobile in Columbia, Mo., back in February. Oscar Mayer officials reported the theft to police there, company spokeswoman Syd Lindner said. The company got a replacement YUMMY plate that same month and notified police in Missouri, Lindner said.

Thursday, 29, 2007

Mating Manatees Stop Traffic in Central Florida

Rosie, you have the money, get a freaking room!

A group of manatees in the mood stopped traffic on the Melbourne Causeway.

A group? Maybe a meeting of The National Organization of Women were feeling a little randy!

Florida Fish & Wildlife experts say it's best to leave the manatees alone.

"These manatees attract a lot of attention, a lot of people call them in as sick or injured or dead. They're not. They're fine," said FWC spokesperson Ann Spellman. "However, it does bring a lot of people into one area and a lot of people feel the need to get in the water with them and that's illegal."

Huh?  "a lot of people feel the need to get in the water with them...."??? This world is jam-packed with freaks.

Anthem? I'll name that tune in Juan

SPAIN has launched a competition to set words to its lyric-free national anthem.

The wordless Spanish anthem has often caused consternation among onlookers from other nations at international events such as football matches and Olympic games because all Spaniards can do is hum along.

"It gives me a very odd feeling that people should sing 'La, la, la'," said Alejandro Blanco, president of Spain's Olympic committee.

"Jose can you see...."

Wednesday, 27, 2007

Spring Time for Paris!

Court: Vasectomy 'Gift' Not Recoverable

Lost love carries no refund, even if you have a receipt. The Utah Court of Appeals rejected an ex-fiancé's request to recover thousands of dollars spent during his engagement on a vasectomy, a cruise to Alaska, a trip to France and other purchases.

A vasectomy during an engagement? That is just NUTS.

Layne D. Hess sued Jody Johnston after she returned an engagement ring to him in April 2005 and called off a wedding planned for that summer.

"Hess urges this court to adopt the position that any gift given during the engagement period carries an implied condition of marriage. We decline to do so," the appeals court said last week in upholding a lower court's ruling.

They should have ruled in favor of him getting the vasectomy costs' back, I mean it was a public service..... think about it...this jackass does not need to be reproducing. Idiot! Whap!

Tuesday, 26, 2007

Las Vegas searches for new tourism slogan

Las Vegas tourism boosters plan to test a new slogan to complement the wildly successful "What happens here, stays here" campaign.

Create a new slogan: Suggest your own Vegas tourism tagline

Ok, Shovelers, bombard this site with the slogan - "Vegas -  get married where Timm got married!!!"

What a rockin' good slogan! We Shovelers can take the place over!

Heeeheehehheeeee

Pregnant woman attacked over beach towel

A Fort Walton Beach woman was arrested last week for beating up a pregnant woman over a beach towel.

"You crazy beeeeaaaches!!"

Mary Riley, 45, was charged with aggravated battery for attacking Lauri Kortum Thursday behind El Matador Condominiums on Okaloosa Island.

Kortum and witnesses said Riley wanted the beach towel Kortum was sitting on, according to the arrest report from the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office.

A witness said Riley pulled two handfuls of hair from Kortum’s head.

Jerry Springer read this, slapped his head and shouted, "Where were my f**king cameras?!?!?!!? I could have made millions!!!"

Toronto airport officials find monkeys, manure in luggage

What do a woman wrapped in sausages, a bag full of elephant manure, and a skinned monkey all have in common?

A woman wrapped in sausage???? 

"... I'll take 'A Rosie O'Fat Wet Dream' for 500, Alex."

Ummm.... could it be 3 things that have a higher IQ than Hillary Clinton?

Or, could it be something that our government would call "art"?? WHAP!

They're just a few of the strange and stomach turning things officials with the Canada Border Services Agency have come across and confiscated during routine luggage checks at Toronto's Pearson International Airport in recent years.

They're trained for the seizure of dangerous weapons, narcotics and counterfeit money. Still, even the most seasoned officials admit it's hard to prepare yourself for the discovery of freshly butchered meat, cultural delicacies, and exotic libido enhancers among piles of clothes and souvenirs

"I was doing a secondary inspection once and I noticed this thing, and so I pulled it out and these five fingers come out, this arm comes up, and then you see the jaw bone and teeth, and nose and eyes," said Ed Filman, who works with detector dogs to find foreign food, plant and animals at Pearson.

"What it turned out to be was a skinned monkey,......."

I'm skinning my monkey right now. Look away!!! whap, whap, whap, whap.....

                                                                                                   Reagan

Monday, 25, 2007

U.S. survey tracks sex behavior, illegal drug use

It's a question that often prompts a boastful answer or a bashful one: How many sex partners have you had?

Madonna grabbed a microphone and screamed, "Like, 200 hundred or something before I recorded 'like a virgin'."

Now the federal government says it has authoritative statistics, documenting that men are far more likely to play the field than women.

Duh? Fellow Shovelers, this is your hard earned tax dollars hard at work in an attempt to explain the BLATANTLY OBVIOUS! Swing for the Fair Tax!!!!! How did I work the Fair Tax into a sex story? Well, people are getting screwed, and don't even realize it. Damn, I'm good. Really good.

A new nationwide survey, using high-tech methods to solicit candid answers on sexual activity and illegal drug use, finds that 29 percent of American men report having 15 or more female sexual partners in a lifetime, while only 9 percent of women report having sex with 15 or more men.

In previous versions of this survey, participants were asked questions in face-to-face interviews.

What a load!!

Face to face - you have some professional 'winkle- wrestler', who hasn't been laid in two years, claiming that they banged 3 playmates last week

I'm calling crap on this survey. <which I do on most surveys>!! WHAP!!

The CDC believes that caused underreporting of behaviors which might be viewed negatively, although the new survey did not provide any comparative results from earlier reports.

Just to keep the survey from being slanted, they didn't question Paris Hilton, or...... well, all of the Hollywood sluts...errrrrr... I mean, stars/actresses.

For my own Shovel survey, is their anyone out there, other than me, who hasn't banged Julia Roberts?? And did you give the horse-faced freak a bale of hay when you were done?

Crook is a real rear gunner

A MAN tried to hide his loaded gun from the police — in his BUM.

Cops found drug user Reggie Sackey, 27, had an 8mm pistol jammed in his buttock cheeks and wrapped in a sock.

Sackey was stopped after police saw him driving without a seatbelt in Tooting, South London.

They arrested him after finding a bag of marijuana and uncovered the gun in a station search.

 Man, this could have turned into a real crapshoot.

Battling Bottled Water

San Francisco is cracking down on the sale of single-serving plastic water bottles. Mayor Gavin Newsom speaks out on why he’s leading the charge.

When San Francisco recently banned the use of plastic grocery bags as part of its campaign to fight global warming, the city drew international attention.

Remember when the plastic bags were the eco choice over paper bags? "Save the environment, stop cutting down trees! Use plastic bags."

Now the same idiots are against plastic bags!!!

Actually, right about now - the only bag liberals find useful is the one used to draw the seed to inseminate a lesbian.

Now, plastic water bottles are in the cross hairs. This week, San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom signed an executive order banning the use of city funds to purchase single-serving plastic water bottles. The order also prohibits the sale of such water containers on city-owned property.

These jack assess live for the vote. Hey, Gavin.... what about the plastic bottles of Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, Dr. Pepper, Pepsi ...etc, etc, .... I am sure government employees drink a hell of a lot more of that than they do water, you dipstick! Government employees don't tend to be "health nuts". Dude, please go crawl back into your the hole that you dwelled in before you got elected. WHAP!!!!

The move is part of a campaign by the city to boost the environmental awareness of its already-green citizens by getting them to use tap water instead of bottled water—and cut down on the acres of plastic generated in the process.

"already green"???? Huh?? These are the same citizens who tell you to buy bottled water because the tap water is polluted by big business!!!??  Which is it?? Did your head just explode? Mine did. Hold on a second........ ok...... unlike Humpty Dumpty - I was able to put mine back together again.

I guess, Dick....... errrr. I mean - Gavin, wants people who work in the plastic bottle industry to loose their jobs - that way he can put them on the welfare dole and then complain about unemployment while guaranteeing that he will get their votes because he will do everything in his power to make sure that the plastic bottle industry continues to grow and..... F**k!!! WHAP!!! HELLO??????

I hate politicians. They should all, after their first term, be beat to death with a shovel.

Newsom spoke with NEWSWEEK’s Karen Breslau about San Francisco’s latest trend-setting environmental campaign—and his own efforts to break the bottled water habit.

How about breaking the illegal alien habit that is crippling your state and our country, you f**k wad!!??? Go have a stroke, Gavin Newsom !!! 

Side note --------   Evian spelled backwards is NAIVE!!!!!!!!  Put that in your bottle and slurp on it until your tongue hurts.

Four percent of American adults never had sex

Four percent of US adults have never had sex in their lives........

..........and they all live in their parents basements - wearing Spock ears or waving their light sabers around - saving themselves for the 'Nebulas Queen' from the 'I Live to Spank Galaxy" to rescue them. 

Cops lay charge after chainsaw waved at Drumheller bar crowd

Fisticuffs at a Drumheller bar allegedly prompted a 25-year-old man to threateningly wave a revving chainsaw at onlookers drawn to the scuffle.

Drumheller RCMP answered a report of a fight in a local night club that spilled out onto the streets about 2:30 a.m. yesterday.

Witnesses said a man in the bar had been fighting with other patrons, then left and returned to the scene with a running chainsaw.

'Leather Face', who was on vacation in Texas, could not be reached for comment.

Mounties said he was allegedly waving it at the crowd that gathered to watch the fight before they arrived to take him into custody without incident.

A Lethbridge man has been charged with possession of a weapon dangerous to the public.

Tree huggers are saying, the public be dammed! What about the danger to oaks, pines, and hickory?

Friday, 22, 2007

We love new sex craze bagging

FORGET dogging! A group of adventurous women get their kicks from a bizarre new sex game. Meet the baggers…

With a mischievous smile, Denise dims the lights in the bedroom and winks suggestively at her husband, Phil, who’s sitting naked on the edge of the bed.

He grins excitedly back at his wife. It’s their secret signal – and he knows what’s coming next.

Slowly, Denise, 32, strips down to a tiny thong. Then she stalks across the room, places her fingertips on Phil’s chest and pushes him back on to the bed.

‘Stay there – and don’t move,’ she purrs sexily into his ear.

Reaching under the bed, she pulls out her ‘special’ box and places it on top of the silk covers. Inside is a white feather, a bottle of massage oil, a long red ribbon – and a brown paper bag.

Phil moans with anticipation as Denise picks up the paper bag – and slides it over his head.

Mary Matalin has been playing this game with James Carville since the day they met. I hear that she draws a picture of Ronald Reagan on the bag before slipping it over his serpentine dome.

Truck slams into building in St. Petersburg

SHOVELLINE - St. Petersburg, Florida - A woman followed her boyfriend's directions a little closely and ended up crashing her truck into a building this morning in St. Petersburg.

The woman says she and her boyfriend were running late to an appointment for his probation at the Salvation Army Correctional Services building at 4950 U.S. Hwy. 19.

She says her boyfriend told her to make a quick turn, but she lost control of her truck and slammed into the building.

Hmmmmm... me thinks this was a probation was from a drug charge.

The woman and her boyfriend were not injured, but their vehicle is heavily damaged.

It turns out that the couple was later than they thought for the probation appointment... it was actually scheduled for yesterday.

I guess that Darwin was asleep at the wheel on this one.

See you guys Monday!!!

Tuesday, 19, 2007

Pro jump-roper leaps into career

With one arm behind his back he swings the rope over his head and spins it under his feet - One!

Then with one arm behind his back and his other under his leg, he swings the rope under his feet again - Two!

His arms return to his sides, but the rope goes under his feet again - Three!

Then with both arms crossed, he swings the rope under his feet one more time - Four!

And he lands.
 

"It's rather difficult," said Nestler, a Tulsan and one of only five professional jump-ropers in the world.

"Professional jump-roper"??? 

Hello?

There is a reason that there are only five of them in the entire world.

That would be because NOBODY cares!!! Professional jump-ropers??? Give me a damn break.

Why did I even put this on our page???

Hey....good luck, 'Rope Jumper Guy', .............. we all hope that you get laid before you give up the ghost! Whap!!

Men Use Backhoe in Liquor Store Break-in

Two men used a backhoe to rip out the front door of a liquor store early Friday during a break-in, police said.

The backhoe, which likely was stolen, was left at the scene after the 4 a.m. break-in, police said. The store was closed at the time, and a small amount of goods was taken from the store, The Detroit News reported.

A damage estimate wasn't immediately available.

Ted Kennedy said, "I was busy,....ummmmm, ummmmmm, I can't find my pants, and I don't even know this hoe."

Man, 18, shoots friend on a dare

SHOVELLINE -WICHITA, Kan. - An 18-year-old Kansas man was arrested over the weekend for allegedly shooting his friend on a dare.

Police said the incident began when the 17-year-old friend taunted the 18-year-old with a gun, saying the 18-year-old would not shoot him, The Wichita Eagle reported.

The 18-year-old then shot his friend in the thigh, police said.

When police arrived, the two reportedly said the older teen had found the younger teen in the street with a gunshot wound, but police said they had reason to be suspicious.
 

Police said the two had been using drugs at the time of the shooting.

No, who would believe that?

The 17-year-old was taken to a hospital and the 18-year-old was arrested for aggravated battery, the newspaper said.

Darwin was seen, standing behind a tree, taking notes for future dares.

Doggie DaVincis paint abstract works of art - and they're selling

The owner of a fledgling dog-training academy in Salisbury has come up with a bizarre money-raising scheme.

Mary Stadelbacher figured that if she could teach dogs to become service animals for the disabled, why couldn't she teach them to hold a paintbrush and swab a piece of art?

Two years later, the owner of Shore Service Dogs has a collection of abstract paintings created by her three service dogs in training. Twenty of the works are being shown this month at a gallery at Salisbury University.

The doggie DaVincis also have a line of greeting cards that has sold out as word spreads about the unusual works of art. One of the original works has sold for 350 dollars.

"You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension: a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into... the Twilight Zone." 

My brain just twisted shut. A dog with a brush in its mouth, slapping paint around is now considered art???

I am going to go curl up in a fetal position, with my shovel, and pray for sanity.

Monday, 18, 2007

Rockin' with the King

Controversy over Dracula's castle

Romania's government on Thursday defended its decision to return "Dracula's Castle" to members of the former royal family, denying allegations that the decision was illegal.

The paperwork must have been a real pain in the neck.

Friday, 16, 2007

Billy Graham's wife Ruth dies at 87

Ruth Graham, who surrendered dreams of missionary work in Tibet to marry a suitor who became the world's most renowned evangelist, died Thursday. She was 87. Graham died at 5:05 p.m. at her home at Little Piney Cove, surrounded by her husband and all five of their children, said a statement released by Larry Ross, Billy Graham's spokesman.

"Ruth was my life partner, and we were called by God as a team," Billy Graham said in a statement. "No one else could have borne the load that she carried. She was a vital and integral part of our ministry, and my work through the years would have been impossible without her encouragement and support.

"I am so grateful to the Lord that He gave me Ruth, and especially for these last few years we've had in the mountains together. We've rekindled the romance of our youth, and my love for her continued to grow deeper every day. I will miss her terribly, and look forward even more to the day I can join her in Heaven."

That just sucked the smartass writing right out of me. God bless and prayers.

Have a great Fathers Day and I will see you here Monday! Shovel on!!

Thursday, 14, 2007

Mom's Baby Monitor Picks Up Shuttle Atlantis Video

When a new mom in Palatine went to check her baby monitor recently, she saw a picture that was literally out of this world.

CBS 2's Alita Guillen reports that instead of hearing the coos of her baby boy, it was more like “Hello mission control.”

Natalie Meilinger regularly keeps a close eye on 3-and-a-half-month-old jack. A baby video monitor sits just a few feet from his crib, capturing images of him sleeping. That is, until this week, when those images went from Jack’s room to outer space.

“I'm going why am I picking up NASA or the space station, then I just went to bed. Sure enough put it on in the morning and screamed... 'It's NASA! It's a space station! Why are we getting this?'” Meilinger said.

In space no one can you scream, "I just crapped my diaper!"

Since Sunday, the Meilingers’ baby monitor has been showing the space shuttle Atlantis docked at the International Space Station. They've seen a space walk, the earth and mission control.

Tuesday, 12, 2007

Adult industry gives thousands back to tiny Brooklyn

About a dozen teen and preteen girls raise their hands above their heads and then down to their chests, pressed palm against palm in prayer.

Songs about belief, virtue and the love of Jesus play in the background. The praise dancers, students in a faith-based dance troupe, perform for a crowd of 150 classmates and parents at an evening assembly in the Lovejoy School gymnasium.

Six blocks away, several young women at Roxy's raise their hands above their heads and shake their hips on dimly lit stages to Pat Benatar's "Heartbreaker." They strip down to the stilettos on their feet. Men pay to watch and touch them as they dance.

These are the two worlds of Brooklyn, an eight-square-block village of about 600 people just across the Mississippi River from St. Louis.

The village has no industry to speak of except for the adults-only variety — four strip clubs, a massage parlor and an adult bookstore, whose suggestive signs beacon passers-by on Route 3.

Ummm....Hey, male Shovelers - lets plan a road trip!! Email me!

Here, risqué businesses and children are oddly and inextricably linked. Strip clubs help send local kids to trade school or college. They pay for after-school programs and youth outings. And without adult entertainment, it's unlikely this village could survive financially.

And I assume that the village bank has nothing but one dollar bills! WHAP! hehehehehehe

Port St. Lucie mother charged after starving son goes door-to-door for food

A 10-year-old boy reportedly weighing only 35 pounds was taken for medical treatment after being found knocking on doors Saturday evening asking for food.

Nicole Ritchie read that and said, "35 pounds!?? What a lard ass!!"
 

The boy's mother, 37-year-old Kelleen Deon Murray Auguste, of the 900 block of Southwest Versailles Avenue, was arrested on a charge of felony child neglect.

The state Department of Children and Families took custody of the six other minor children in the home, according to Port St. Lucie police.

He said Auguste, who is pregnant, has a total of nine children.

Poor, with nine kids and pregnant with another??? Will someone please sew this woman shut!!!???

Vet suspected of punching dog, dislodging its eye

A Sun City West veterinarian was arrested on suspicion of punching a five-pound Chihuahua five times in the head, temporarily blinding one eye of the dog.

Dr. Joshua Winston faces charges of animal cruelty and theft, according to a prepared statement from Maricopa County Sheriff's office.

Winston allegedly struck the Chihuahua's head five times and dislodged the dog's eye on June 4, according to the statement.

The dog needed corrective surgery after the incident, according to the statement.

This guy should be beat to death with a shovel........ sloooooooooowly. I mean one swing at a time.

Monday, 11, 2007

Hungarians reconquer world kissing record

Gene Simmons said, "Apparently, the fools have never heard of the Kiss Army."

Woman's skeleton found in house years after her death

SHOVELLINE -MIDDLEFIELD, Conn.  The skeletal remains of an elderly woman were found Friday in her home, more than seven years after neighbors last reported seeing her.

Ann M. Simmeck apparently died of natural causes, according to an autopsy conducted later Friday. She would have been 79 years old.

The home, which bears a strongly worded "no trespassing" sign, still had working electric service. Calendars and food inside the freezer were dated 1999 and earlier, neighbors who talked with investigators told The Hartford Courant.

Ahhhhh... MUSH!!! I'm calling B.S. on this story. She still had working electric service? Why didn't they also throw in that 'Stairway to Heaven' was still playing in her CD player? WHAP! B.S.!!!!

A "no trespassing" sign says just that - so what does "a strongly worded "no trespassing" sign" mean? Did she alter it?

Something like, "ANY MOTHER F***ER CAUGHT F**KING TRESPASSING WILL BE FU**ING BEAT TO DEATH WITH A F**KING SHOVEL??

 I don't know. Strongly worded??? Brain sprain.

This woman must have been a serious bitch if she went 7 holiday seasons without any family member contacting her. Plus, do any of you guys have a mailbox big enough to hold 7 years of mail?

We are going to stick this in the Ripley's Believe It or Not file here at Shovel Central.

Yoga May Help Treat Depression, Anxiety Disorders

I don't know about that, but I do enjoy it regularly for breakfast - toss in some fresh strawberries and.... ummmmm....ohhhh... sorry.

Yoga's postures, controlled breathing and meditation may work together to help ease brains plagued by anxiety or depression, a new study shows.

Marshalltown Police: Woman Stole Toilet Paper From Courthouse

SHOVELLINE - MARSHALLTOWN, Iowa -- A Marshalltown woman faces charges of stealing three rolls of toilet paper from the local courthouse and could get prison time.

She will probably just get probation, due to her CHARMIN personality.

News Channel 8's Katie Piper caught up with the woman accused of stealing the toilet paper.

Courthouse employees said they thought something was up.

"They said they seem to go through a lot of toilet paper at the courthouse," said Marshalltown Police Chief Lon Walker.

Marshalltown police said one of the employees caught Suzanne Marie Butts, of Marshalltown, taking the two-ply from the women's bathroom and called police.

Butts??? Someone call the IRONY police!!!!

Police said they caught up with Butts outside the courthouse Friday, and she was hiding the toilet paper in her shirt.

Remember the good old days when the only time a chick had toilet paper under her shirt it was to stuff her bra? What a freak. She obviously wasn't working there to WIPE out crime!

Hello, Shovelers! It is casual dress Friday, which means...well nothing really, because judging from the emails -  most of you guys rarely dress any other way. hahahaha

Outrage: Sharpton Bashes Paris Transfer

The Rev. Al Sharpton delivered a rebuke to the California justice system for allowing Paris Hilton to leave jail and serve her sentence at home, saying the move reveals a dangerous double standard.

"This early release gives all the appearances of economic and racial favoritism that is constantly cited by poor people and people of color," the civil-rights leader and president of National Action Network said Thursday, according to the Drudge Report.

Blah, blah, blah, blah blah!!! When was the last time this guy stood up for a poor person who wasn't "of color".......ummmmm never!! He is a race monger. All he cares about is getting his face on TV.

His entire purview of life is seen through the prism of race, that is a SAD way to live life!!!

Anyway, who didn't see this coming?

This is the way we treat all of the "stars". They are 'special'.

Do I need to call racist Al and list all of the "famous" blacks who have committed crimes and gotten around the law???

Shut your big fat "will this get me on TV" pie hole, Al.  WHAP!!!!!!! Talk to me about that, Al, you **** ****** ** *** *!!!

On that note, I think that slut should have been stuck in the bull-dike section of cellblock C ...for....... never mind.

Daly backs move to ground Blue Angels show

The annual aerial show by the U.S. Navy’s Blue Angels — a San Francisco tradition dating back to 1981 that pumps millions into the local economy — is running into opposition from three local peace advocacy groups that are calling for a permanent halt to the popular Fleet Week flyover.

CodePink, Global Exchange and Veterans for Peace, Chapter 69, are working with Supervisor Chris Daly on a Board of Supervisors resolution to address concerns over the Blue Angels.

Daly acknowledged he is considering a call to halt the flyovers because, he said, “they seem dangerous and unnecessary.” Daly said he plans on introducing the resolution as early as Tuesday, but is still drafting the language. A resolution is not legally binding, but states a board position.

“they seem dangerous and unnecessary.” ?????  What a pus*y!!!!! Imagine if this limp-wristed jackass, Chris Daly, was in charge of our military!

Hey Chris, go back and do what you do -- checking the sugar levels of the cotton candy at public events..... and making sure that the Playgirl models shave themselves properly! DORK!! WHAP!!!

Thursday, 07, 2007

11-Year-Old Arrested For Using Rubber Band Gun

An 11-year-old Ocoee boy was arrested for playing with a toy gun. Police said the arrest was necessary, because it was a safety issue.

An 11 year old with a rubber band gun??!??!! These police officers need to be fired and sent back to the french-fry machine that they were operating before they got accepted into the academy.

The boy was using a rubber band gun and his father said the kid did nothing wrong, but police said they take it as a serious threat and the 11-year-old is facing felony charges.

The gun itself only fires rubber bands and was checked into evidence. Police didn't comment on the weapon's color or release any images.

Of course they didn't. A rubber band gun is a rubber band gun. They were being overreacting a-holes!!!

Still, the victims said they were frightened and, police said, toy or no toy, the charges are justified. The victim told police she was afraid for her life.

Imagine that! It is a chick starting this.

Sorry cops - the charges are a load of SH*T!!! You guys need to go sit back down and make love to your radar guns. I hope the judge belittles you like the tards that you are.

Man arrested for marijuana possession after complaining about motel
 

A man who called police after employees at a Mountain Home motel refused to give him a refund when he decided NOT to stay there ended up getting free accommodations - at the county jail.

Mountain Home police say they arrested 26-year-old Phillip Ruch of Baxter County after finding an outstanding warrant for his arrest for a felony marijuana delivery charge.

What a mentally indigent dork! Who calls the police when they have an outstanding warrant for their arrest?? If you raised your hand --- get off of my page.

 Police say officers also found more than five ounces of marijuana in the pocket of a fishing vest inside of Ruch's car.

They also found 10 empty bags of Cheetos and a picture of Tommy Chong.

Shd u txt, chat n drive? Young drivers say OK

The majority of young U.S. drivers admit they chat on their cell phones and text message while driving -- and almost a half of them see no reason to stop.

A survey by the Zogby International polling firm released on Wednesday found 66 percent of U.S. drivers aged between 18 and 24 send text messages while driving and 93 percent talk on their cell phone behind the wheel.

Well, duh!!! Thanks for that insight into the obvious. Polls are nothing more than "news" for the mentally obtuse.

I could have told you that most kids live to talk and text -- there was no reason to waste the time and resources on that poll.

I've been driving around and seen them text messaging. The fact that they are driving is the last thing on their minds - they are pounding on the key pads of their cellphones like rabid baboons with downsyndrome!

Isn't the fact that so many of them end up dead in a car wreck proof that Darwin is very busy? Just wondering.

The rest of this story is just "this percent and that percent" of stuff that we all already know. Yawn! WHAP!

Wednesday, 06, 2007

Hearing Voices In Your Head - International Website Launched Today

Today sees the launch of a new international website for hearing voices providing a gateway for all things to do with people who hear voices (aka auditory hallucinations). The launch takes place in Copenhagen, Denmark, where representatives of the eighteen nations involved in working on the issue of hearing voices are holding their annual meeting.

Hey, hey, hey!!! Hold on a second. I started a page for voices in your head years ago! Since then there have been thousands of people who have picked up a shovel when having auditory hallucinations. I think I need to sue these guys for ripping off my idea!
 

http://www.intervoiceonline.org is not only the most extensive resource for people who hear voices that can be found on the web, but it also presents a very different way of thinking about the meaning of hearing voices.

I hear voices in my head all the time. Oh.....wait, that is just me having profound thoughts about day to day life.

I have been told that Michael Moore and Rosie O'Fat often hear the voice of Coronial Sanders informing them of the significance of gravy and biscuits. WHAP!!!

Terror Plot 'One Of The Most Chilling Imaginable'

Federal authorities say they foiled an alleged plot by a retired airport worker, a former Guyanese Parliament member and other Muslim extremists to plant explosives on jet fuel arteries at John F. Kennedy International Airport, triggering massive casualties and economic havoc.

In related news - bacon, gravy, biscuit, cheese, and gin factories are being investigated about attempts to 'blow up' Ted Kennedy.

Three men were arrested and a fourth sought in Trinidad for reportedly hatching the brazen scheme that they boasted would be worse than 9/11 and put "the whole country in mourning," authorities said.

Democrats asked, "What do they mean by 9/11?"

"Bush is an oil hungry war monger."

"Hey, our leading candidate is a power hungry, socialist, bitter, ugly dike." 

"Imagine our vote spike if they had done it."  or, maybe not so much...

Invention alleviates fallout of flatulence