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Wednesday, 30, 2004 Spider-Man is back in theaters today and my shovel sense is tingling! With great power there must also come great responsibility! Just a note. He will blow Michael the super fat Moore's numbers out of the lard pool.
Bad break for
bell-ringer
In a literal sense, couldn't we
label Mike Tyson as a campanologist? Anywho, best wishes to her. Bang a gong -
get it on! In a related story, John Kerry heard bells while serving in
Vietnam. When Should Race Be Reported? Your libs in the press at work here. There was a fatal shooting on a New York City subway last week. The perpetrators were black. A couple of newspapers reported that and gave detailed descriptions of what the perps were wearing, but The Associated Press reported a description of the suspects' clothing and not their skin color. How typical is that
of the press? What would the sketches of Americas Most Wanted that are
hanging in post offices across this country look like if liberals were in
charge? I get the feeling that we would all be on the lookout for Charlie Brown. Here is their inane response as to why the perpetrators race was left out...... "Identification by race is pertinent when it provides the reader with a substantial insight into conflicting emotions known or likely to be involved in a demonstration or similar event." Huh? I swear, I have ran into homeless crack heads that have expressed themselves more cogently. What in the world did that guy just try and say? That is one of the most asinine, vapid, meaningless statements that I have ever read. Will one of you explain it to me? Don't you just love
how the left laments the fact that we notice a persons race while at the
same time demanding that their race be the first thing that we notice?
Whap!!
If it quacks like a tax ... it
probably isn't
Do you ever look at all the charges that are added to your cell bill every month? They look like, and could easily be mistaken for, government taxes - but they aren't. This article slants the story that way, but the reporter just flat out misses the real picture! Now, it is true
that the charges aren't direct government taxes, but they are a direct
reflection of the cost of doing business with our out of control government.
One thing that most Americans don't understand is that corporations DO NOT
pay taxes. Never have! Never. EVER! They will raise prices on their goods or
lower dividends to their stock holders, but they do not pay taxes. That is
first grade economics, guys. Anyway, here is a short list of some of the charges these companies are tacking on...
Verizon
includes a $2 to $3 surcharge each month for something called "Supplier FUSF
Recovery." SBC Communications Inc. charges $1.86 for the same thing. Nextel
adds $1.55 a month for "Federal-Programs Cost Recovery." What?!!!!?
But in turn, companies are increasingly seizing upon vague regulatory rules to extract compensation from customers in a less-than-forthright way. <looks like they have learned well from the sots in Congress.> But nowhere in the rules does it say that the companies should recover their costs through a surcharge to the basic price of service. <ummm... again - Congress! Spend, spend, spend and just increase the taxes. A little one cent tax here and one there, it is all the same thing. They don't care, it isn't their money."> Unfortunately, the rules also don't force them to include the fees with the advertised price. <one last time -- CONGRESS!!!! They sell you the new social program at one price but it always ends up costing ten times that amount because of unforeseen, or unannounced, little add ons.. Promise everyone the moon, but never let on as to what it is eventually going to cost them in taxes.>
We will give you this,
this and this, but lets not mention that it is going to cost you that, that
and, that! WHAP!!! Motel Sues Bride For Wedding Dress Mishap
A motel in Wisconsin
is suing a new bride because she caused the sprinkler system to engage after
she hung her wedding dress on a sprinkler valve in her hotel room. The motel
reports that this act of stupidity caused $82,000 in damage.
The local fire department couldn't get the sprinkler system to turn off. It ran for about 3˝. He still married her. Man, all I have to say is that I pray that they don't breed!
Re-Shovel
Just a follow up to
the teacher
Tuesday, 29, 2004 U.S. Formally Hands Iraq Self-Rule Two Days Early The United States handed sovereignty to an interim Iraqi government two days earlier than expected on Monday, aiming to forestall guerrilla attacks with a secretive ceremony formally ending 14 months of occupation. Outgoing U.S. Governor Paul Bremer handed a letter to Iraqi leaders sealing the formal transfer of powers before immediately flying out of the country. Excellent. Talk
about ruining some of the terrorists plans, not to mention the plans of the
networks. I love it it. I will have more on this later.
Pensioner builds plane in garage "Owning my own plane has been my lifelong dream so I decided to build it in my garage, copying a model of the US Fox plane," said Mr Friso, a former pilot instructor from Nitra in western Slovakia. It cost the guy
about $32,000 to build the plane which he plans to use to take several of
his friends to Croatia for a little vacation. ummmmm.... no thanks,
I'll just walk! Crowd Beats 2 People After Alleged Hit-And-Run Accident A crowd of people
in Milwaukee yanked a couple of guys out of their car and tossed them a
beating after they hit two 14-year-olds and then turned around and hit a
12-year-old while they were trying to leave the scene of the first accident. The sheriff's department said a large crowd surrounded the car, pulled out the driver and a 29-year-old passenger and beat them. I love it!!
Too bad no one had their shovels on them!!
THE SPECIAL LYRICS TO PEOPLE How about a little
B.S.? It seems that Babbs put a little twist on the lyrics to her song
"PEOPLE" at a fund raiser in Los Angeles this June. The little concert
raised over $5,000,000 to support the Kerry campaign. THEY'RE LYING - "fishes are dying in the world"? Please go catch a debilitating disease you parrot nosed freak!! People, Reading Teacher BookedThis is Debra
Lafave, a 23-year-old Florida teacher who is facing
Also, about Michael Moore. Natureboy had a great post. Check it out if you haven't already. Monday, 28, 2004Ok, lets start this Monday with a feel good story!Man acquitted of harpoon attack
Three punks attacked Nathan Kirk
so he pulled out his harpoon gun. He says he didn't intend to actually shoot
it, but it went off and hit Matthew Hawkins in the
face. The little maggot lost an eye. Hoorah!!
"He now wants to put the past 14 months behind him and get his life back on track. He is eternally grateful to his mother, father, family and friends for their support during the most difficult period of his life so far."
Cut through the media
slant and you find out that Mr. Kirk was stabbed in the chest with a knife
when this happened. So basically he was acquitted for defending himself.
Wouldn't it be nice if the media could find it in themselves to report it
that way? But, no.... he was acquitted of a "harpoon attack." Like he
ran out into the streets and went Moby Dick on the first person that he saw.
Whap! School Bus Driver Reports Kids In KKK Robes At Bus StopThere is an investigation going on in Ocala, Florida over a complaint from a black school bus driver. She says a couple of kids showed up at one of her stops dressed in Ku Klux Klan outfits, carrying a cross. hmmm... Looks like
Senator (Democrat, W. Virginia) Robert Byrd's A detective following the case said authorities would have to prove that the kids intended to harass or intimidate Johnson, but she said she's an employee of the school system and shouldn't have to deal with it. In her words, "I don't think this is funny." Prove that they
intended to harass or intimidate? Whap! Come on! Did I mention Byrd was a
Democrat?
Czech survives 10 days buried alive
in coffin
Some people will do
anything to get their names in print. This 50-year-old Czech man spent 10 days buried underground in a wooden coffin with
no food or water and only a ventilation pipe to survive. He claims to have
beaten the previous world record for being buried alive by
four days and will soon be applying to be registered in the Guinness Book of World
Records.
"Of course I do not agree with what he did, but now that he has succeeded, I am glad. The main thing is that it has turned out well," his wife Alena said. I guess his life insurance policy had a clause that frowned on burying yourself alive. Anyway, he lost 19 pounds during this mindless act of stupidity. Lets see, 19 pounds in 10 days. Using those figures, Michael Moore might drop below 200 pounds if we kept him buried for 3 straight years. I wonder how many of us shovelers it would take to dig that gargantuan hole?
Baby's Diaper Absorbs Snake Venom This is odd. An Israeli infant was bitten by a venomous snake while he was playing in the backyard. His parents rushed him to the hospital after they noticed fang marks on his diaper and swelling on his buttocks. <hhahahaa I typed buttocks.> "He had been bitten by a venomous snake,"
Dr Kobi Assaf of Jerusalem's That is wild. All I have to say is that this baby is lucky as s**t, and I bet his parents about s**t themselves when they saw the fang marks. It is some s**t if you think about it.
David Lee, NYC EMT
I guess Diamond Dave
realized that his musical career is over. At 48, he has decided to become a
EMT on the lower East Side. He moved from his palatial estate in Pasadena,
Calif., to train as an EMT in New York, and he hopes to earn his
certification in November and then work as a volunteer. "I want to be working in the outer boroughs. This city promises great color and insight in each and every neighborhood," Roth said. "On the upper East Side, it's gonna be heart attacks and stomach aches. But in other neighborhoods, it's all trauma."
Wouldn't you just love
to be in a life or death situation and look up and see Diamond Dave standing
there with a stethoscope? SOMEBODY GET ME A DOCTOR!
<many of you didn't
get that> Thursday, 25, 2004 I have been strolling through some articles on slick Willie's new book and one mention stuck out at me. He mentioned that Hillary was named after Sir. Edmund Hillary because her mother respected Edmund's achievement of conquering Mount Everest. Hillary made this same claim years ago. Hello?? Why won't the press point out the fact that it is a blatant, unmitigated lie? See, it is impossible because Hillary was almost seven years old on May 29,1953 when Sir Edmund Hillary made his climb of Mount Everest. Lie, lie, lie. The truth is not in these people. WHAP! WHAP!!! With a stick because they aren't worthy of my shovel. Surf while you surf Would you believe
that people could go shoveling and surfing at the same time?
Well, Intel, the microprocessor giant, has came up with a way to make that possible. They have created a surfboard with a touch-screen computer that is protected from seawater by a thin sheet of clear plastic. It is powered by solar panels. The thing has a wi-fi antenna for access to the Web and a built-in webcam so surfers can record their rides. My shovel is rust proof. All I have to say
is, "Dude!" Genetic mutation turns tot into superboy A German baby was
born with a genetic mutation that boost muscle growth. The kid isn't even 5
years old and he can hold seven-pound weights with his arms extended. There
are a lot of adult that can't do that. The little freak has muscles twice
the size of other kids his age and half the body fat! No word if they
checked to see if he had spent any time at The Barry Bonds Funtime, Roid,
and Daycare Center.
The mutant DNA in this kid blocks production of a protein called myostatin that limits muscle growth. Scientists are excited about it because they believe this could eventually lead to drugs for treating people with muscular dystrophy and other muscle-destroying conditions. This type of blockage has been tested on mice, but now that it has just shown up in a human leaves the scientist very optimistic that it will be successful in humans. They believe that it can also be used to treat the muscles of people who have been immobilized by illness or a broken limb. “If you could find a way to block myostatin activity, you might slow the wasting process,” said Dr. Se-Jin Lee, the Johns Hopkins professor.
The kids mother, 24,
used to be a professional sprinter. She has one mutated copy of the gene and
the other is normal; the boy has two mutated copies. No word if the mutation
came from any actions taken by Halliburton, but we do know that John Kerry
served in Vietnam. American Tourist Survives 230-Foot Fall Into Canyon Some idiot touring
around Australia fell 230 feet into a canyon after he climbed over the the
safety barrier at a lookout in Morton National Park, which is just
south of Sydney. The rescue units
couldn't get the guy out because of nightfall, so he had to lay there all
night. He has severe neck and back injuries but it looks like he is going to
live to vote for John Kerry. DEMS IN A FELON FUMBLE
The Bush-hating billionaire George Soros gave $10 million to a Democrat
group called America Coming Together so they could hire people to go door to
door and try to collect things such as phone, drivers and social security
numbers in hopes of registering voters.
Well, it turns out that they hired a bunch of felons. There were people who had been convicted of burglary, forgery, drug dealing, assault and sex offenses. At least four of the people they hired are already back in jail.
You won't find this story in the reports from the
indoctrination activists..... eerrrr.... I mean the mainstream media. This
is typical for the Democrats though. They want power and could care
less how they get it. They are even masters at getting the DEAD to turn out
to vote. Wednesday, 23, 2004 Democrats Screen 'Fahrenheit 9/11' in D.C. Democratic National Committee chairman Terry McAuliffe said he thought the film would play an important role in this election year. A piece of film riddled with lies is going to play an important role in the election? So, Terry is saying that the Democrats are going to run on a lie. Way to go, Terry. At least you are being truthful!!!! <note to Terry --- you are a dead man walking, as far as the Clintons...errr... I mean, Democrat Party is concerned!> "This movie raises a lot of the issues that Americans are talking about,
that George Bush has been asleep at the switch since he's been president,"
McAuliffe said as he walked the red carpet into the premiere.
Sen. Tom Harkin of Iowa implored all Americans to see the film: "It's important for the American people to understand what has gone on before, what led us to this point, and to see it sort of in this unvarnished presentation by Michael Moore." Can you believe this? Are the Democrats actually going to hitch their wagons to this lying lard ball? <God, I hope so> This just blows my mind. What is next? Is Ralph Nader going to run on The Day After Tomorrow? No, wait. Al Gore has already claimed that FICTIONAL film as his own!! As maddening as I find these idiots, I just have to laugh. But, let me tell you one thing, guys. You haven't seen anything yet. The media is going to kick it up like you wouldn't believe in the next few months. The shovel will be here.
Rash of strange injuries afflicts baseballBaseball players are the biggest wimps in the wide
world of sports. The story states that so far this year, they have missed
games for things like injuries suffered in a sneezing incident, pain from a
sleeping accident, <what the hell is a sleeping There is some speculation that all these guys have become brittle because they went cold turkey on the steroids. I don't believe that. They are all just pampered little pansies who think the world revolves around them. Just watch. Baseball ratings are going to tank this year. They might even drop worse than basketball numbers. It wouldn't bother me at all if I didn't see one single baseball game this year. So far I am batting 1000! Please God, let the season of a real mans sport get here soon. I am so ready for some football!!
Man Has 20-Feet Long Hair; Hasn't Been Cut In 30 YearsThis Vietnamese freak hasn't had his hair cut in 31 years because he wants to get into the Guinness Book of World Records for having the longest hair. He hasn't washed it in 6 years! I believe that shatters any liberal Americans record because I think they tend to wash at least once between Democrat National Conventions.
Duh? Hello? Free because no one would pay for it!
The current record is held by some other freak from Thailand with a length
of 16 feet 11 inches. No comment from Crystal Gayle yet. Teen Cheerleaders Shocked Over Sex PhotosThis story reports that police in Boulder, Colorado
are looking for a man who took liberties with several cheerleaders cameras
while they were at a cheerleading camp. They aren't sure how, but he some
how managed to get into some the girls hotel rooms and snap off a few choice
shots.
The girls had no idea anything had happened until they got the pictures developed. They were shocked to find photographs of the man's genitals sitting on their drinking cups, bottles and food. What a freak. He used five different cameras in several different rooms. This will go one of two ways, guys. 1) It will turn out to be a guy these girls know who was just "having a little fun." or 2) They won't catch the freak until he rapes and/or kills. How is that for a happy little note? USA TODAY to raise its cover price to 75 cents This story ran in USA TODAY. Now granted it was an AP story, but still. The thing reads like the USA TODAY is reporting on itself in third person. It just kind of struck me as funny. Anyway, they are going to raise their price from 50 to 75 cents in September. Do you remember when USA TODAY started? Everyone,
and I mean EVERYONE, said that it would fail. Fail. A total waste of time
and money. They said it was crazy to start a new newspaper, much less one in
color. Well, I say everybody said that. Let me rephrase that - the rest of
the media said that. They just didn't want competition. We all know how much
they hate competition. The paper succeeded in spite of taking a slow turn to the left. It has a daily circulation of 2.3 million, which makes it the largest selling newspaper in the country. The report says they plan to spend $10 million on new coin mechanisms to sell the newly priced newspapers. I found this paragraph of the story to be particularly interesting. Especially since the USA TODAY consistently runs stories about how bad the economy is. The announcement came as newspaper publishers told Wall Street analysts and investors Tuesday that they are seeing a generally improved advertising climate, thanks in part to robust classified advertising, especially help-wanted ads. Robust sales of help-wanted ads? How can you report that when you are saying that the economy sucks? You biased pigs. John Kerry said that he served in Vietnam and that
none of the companies placing the help-wanted ads actually wanted help, they
were just placing them in hopes of lining Halliburton's BIG AD pockets. Tuesday, 22, 2004 Stripper dilemma: the pole was the
problem "Because I kept on dancing around the pole it just got worse and worse," Cleeve, 20, told the newspaper. "It's hard to look sexy when your legs and body are inflamed. I tried to ignore it but in the end it wasn't worth the pain." "It's hard to look sexy when your legs and body are inflamed." With insight like that you just can't help but wonder why this girl isn't being looked at as a possible recipient for a Pulitzer. Can you? Well, because of her allergies she has been forced to lower herself and take a job as a saleswoman.
Ozzy's wife tops rock power list In Kerrang! magazine, Sharon Osbourne was voted the most powerful influence in rock because she was the brains behind brokering the deal for the reality TV show The Osbournes. The O's made $85 million off of the show. Anyway, take the list for what what it is worth,
because Satan was voted number two as the most influential. Now that I think
about it.... with some of the horrible stuff that is passing as music today
I think I might put him as the number one influence. I'm pretty sure he had
a hand in fathering Usher, Justin Timberlake, every member of the band
Creed, The Dixie Chicks, Destiny's Child, and I will bet you that Eminem is
the result of a Satan cloning!
Controversial film-maker Michael Moore even makes an appearance, for "continuing to inspire and inform rock's anti-authoritarian bands". Inspiring such tunes as, "I hate America", "I'm fat", "Oh wow, I am really fat!", "Is it possible to be this fat?", "I am fatter than I was when I sang that last song", "Wow, have you noticed how enormously huge my ass is?", and the always favorite, "Bitter ball of Lard".
Starbucks in Lizzie's house?This is very weird. This guy who just bought the Borden house is going to turn it into a bed-and-breakfast, with a Starbucks inside. Talk about having a theme! Lizzie's parents, Abby and Andrew Borden were found
hacked to death with an axe back in 1892. Abby was Liz's step mom and
apparently they didn't get along very well, which is what led to the
slayings. After a few days Liz was charged with the murders. There was a huge trial, but she ended up being acquitted of the charges. The little community of Fall River, Massachusetts rejected the verdict though and she was shunned the rest of her life. Silly Liz, only Kennedy's can kill in Massachusetts. Anyway, did you know that she still to this day has fan clubs? They call themselves Bordenians. What a bunch of freaks! Anyway, this guy is serious about converting the house. With a few modifications, Woods says, he can vastly expand the appeal -- and bottom line -- of the house where Abby Borden was gored in the head and then left face-down on the floor of the guest bedroom in August 1892, while her husband, Andrew, was chopped 11 times and left on the sofa, as if he was taking a summer nap. Good luck buddy. Choose your themes well and you will make a million!
Pope singles out Madonna for criticism
I have to go with the Pope on this one, guys.
Madonna, Esther, whatever. A whore by any other name is still a whore. Well,
maybe that wasn't his point, but it is mine. Filthy whore! Tuesday, 22, 2004 Moore Film Title Angers Author Bradbury Ray Bradbury isn't happy with Michael could I weigh any Moore. He wants an apology from the guy for the name of his new movie. Mr. Bradbury, called Moore's company six months ago to protest the title, but they are just now getting back to him."He didn't ask my permission," Bradbury, 83, told The Associated Press on Friday. "That's not his novel, that's not his title, so he shouldn't have done it." Mr. Bradbury said he hopes to keep it out of court and that he would
settle for lard boys word and a hand shake. Note to Ray -- Michael is a BIG
FAT LIAR! His word isn't worth spit.
For those of you who don't know. Fahrenheit 9/11 is a play on the title of Bradbury's book Fahrenheit 451. The story line of the book is that firemen start fires instead of putting them out. They burn homes and libraries in order to destroy the books inside and keep people from thinking independently. 451 degrees Fahrenheit is the temperature that paper burns at. Hence the title. I wonder what temperature LARD burns at?
Towing company holding man's wheelchair until bill is paid
Question? Even if
he had the money how would he get to it without his wheel chair? I bet the
left will claim that the towing company is owned by Halliburton. Castro Warns Bush Against Launching Attack Put this story in your 'you have obviously lost your mind' file. Fidel Castro actually held a rally to warn President Bush against launching a military attack on Cuba. He claimed that is would provoke an all-out ground war and that, "You would never be able to win that war..."
"Do not try crazy adventures such as surgical strikes or wars of attrition using sophisticated techniques because you could lose control of the situation," Castro said in a speech addressed specifically to Bush before the morning. Right. I don't know
if you could call my swing sophisticated, but I do have it down to an art
form. Here, Fidel, hold one!! WHAP!!! Clinton
rages against Dimbleby in Panorama confrontation over Lewinsky Seems old Willy lost it during a TV interview in the UK. "He is visibly
angry with Dimbleby's line of questioning and some of that anger gets
directed at Dimbleby himself. As outbursts go, it is not just some flash
that is over in an instant. It is something substantial and sustained. "It is memorable television which will give the public a different insight into the President's character. It will leave them wondering whether he is as contrite as he says he is about past events. Dimbleby manages to remain calm and order is eventually restored." I think they edited out the part where he said, "Damn that blue dress!" Obviously the guy is unhappy about the the stain Monica left on his Presidency. I hope we get to
see the tape. Monday, 21, 2004Fast-growing weed threatens Venezuela lakeMaybe they
should place a call to Tommy Chong. This is some sort of weed that doubles
in size every 48 hours and it is choking the lake. The workers are Bridge rusts amid debate over color Your government at work here, guys. This bridge, the Roebling Suspension Bridge,
is rusting all over and needs a new coat of paint. The state had planned to
paint it in 1998, but that plan got into some committee and the idea hasn't seen
the light of day since. Government at work. Six years and they can't
accomplish something as simple as painting a bridge!
"The Suspension Bridge was last painted in 1980, and it's starting to rust," Callery said. "That's not right. This bridge is historic. It was the prototype for the Brooklyn Bridge. It's a tremendous asset to the city of Covington and the state of Kentucky." Kentucky has an annual $18 million dollar budget for bridge maintenance.$18 million? How many bridges does that state have? Anyway, the estimate to paint the bridge is $6 million but they just can't seem to find room in the budget for that. So for one year they can't maintain on only $12 million? What are the people in Necktucky doing to their bridges? The bridge is 139 years old. I bet it won't see a fresh coat of paint before it hits a hundred and a half.
Sunken boat raised by Ping-Pong balls They raised a 24-foot sailboat
from the bottom of Monterey Harbor by filling its hull full of 27,000
Ping-Pong balls. The balls were shot down to the boat with a hose and divers packed them in. "We brought 60,000 ping-pong balls, and we used 27,000," said Peter Rees. Forrest Gump said, "They ought not be doing that with them Ping-Pong balls, Jenny."
Free beer if you register to vote Gee...... I wonder what party would be offering free beer to vote? I will even be willing to bet you that it is coming out of Ted Kennedy's own private stock. Has a Democrat ever been elected without offering everything thing that they can think of to you for free? What is really sad is the the people who accept all this "free" stuff don't realize that they are giving up their FREEdom! Man, WHAP!!! That’s the plan at today’s East End Festival. Monroe County Democrats have teamed up with High Falls Brewery to offer two free 2-ounce beers to those who register to vote at the festival. Two ounces? How
fitting, because under Democratic rule Two ounces of beer would just about
be all the beer that you could afford to buy.
It gets even better though. The new voters who sign up will be able to go into a real voting booth and pick the beer they liked the most. This phenomenally vapid promotion is being called “Register Your Taste." I wonder how Hillary Clinton would.... oh, never mind. They are
claiming that the goal is
to encourage people older than 21 to register to vote and to simulate the
voting experience. Fitting. Only a drunk, wanting something for free, would
vote for a Democrat. <Zell Miller not included> Saudi Says Qaeda Weakened, Group Vows to Fight On Saudi Arabia said on Saturday it had substantially weakened al Qaeda by killing its leader in the kingdom after the group beheaded a U.S. hostage, but militants vowed renewed "holy war" in the world's biggest oil exporter.
So the Saudis gunned
down Abdulaziz al-Muqrin - the al Qaeda leader - just hours after the
beheading of Paul Johnson. Something stinks here guys. I'm telling you, the
Saudis killed this Muqrin guy because of something he knew, not because of
what happened. Bottom line - the Saudis have something to hide. They knew we
would REALLY be coming after these guys after what was done to Paul Johnson
and they knew that we would take this Muqrin guy, and his ilk, alive and
interrogate them. We need to go in guns blazing and find out what it is that
the Saudis don't want us to know. Something just isn't right about this
whole thing. Keep a watch. Friday, 18, 2004 Lets start with a couple of news bias stories. Panel says Saddam didn't help al-Qaeda Link used as justification for war; Bush officials stand by statements WASHINGTON -- There
is ''no credible evidence'' that Saddam Hussein helped al-Qaeda plan and
train for attacks against the United States, the commission rationale the
Bush administration gave for invading Iraq. That Saddam helped and disputes a rationale the Bush administration gave for invading Iraq? There is the spin. The lie. President Bush never, EVER claimed that Saddam Hussein had anything to do with 9/11. Never. Neither did anyone in his administration. Also, he never said that was why we invaded Iraq. Can you say UN resolutions? This is just
another attempt by the media to give credence to the BUSH LIED story. He
lied! He lied! How maddening can these guys get? The press are not going to
let up. They know that most people won't look past the headline and will
bite on the Bush lied spin. No bias there, huh?
Bush Is to Blame
I'll just tell you
that this story is about the Abu Ghraib prison scandal. This thing is a
non-story that the press is definitely not going to let up on. They are
going to fan it and try to keep it white hot. Let me tell you why. After
President Bush is reelected they are going to use this to try and get him
impeached. You watch. TV job awaits child-killer's release Steinberg, convicted in infamous 1980s abuse case, to leave prison Here is a story that will send you into Lizzy Borden swinging fits with your shovel. A guy who beat a 6-year-old girl to death is going to get a job at a local cable TV show called New York Confidential. The girl didn't die immediately, she lay unconscious on the bathroom floor for 12 hours while this guy and his girlfriend sat in another room smoking coke. He said he beat her because she was staring at him. The little girls birth mother paid this guy, Joel Steinberg - a lawyer, $500 to find her daughter a good adoptive home. He never did, he just kept her and after years of abuse, killed her. He served less than
17 years and now that he is getting out a TV show is going to hire him to do
some reporting. Why wasn't he killed on the spot? Anyway, here is the quote. After he's released, Steinberg will earn $250 a week as an intern for New York Confidential, a tabloid-style cable show that has the infamous report on the scandalous. ''We're interested in a lot of different people, scandalous people . . . who can do stories and have a totally different view on everything,'' show spokesman James Edstrom says. ''There's no guarantee that he will work out. He'll start as an intern, and if he can handle it, he may end up being a reporter along with other people.'' Just sick! I have a
couple of shovelers in New York. Go swing!! Dairy Queen Mascot Tackled in Front of Store
The store's manager says she won't let any more
mascots out unless they go in pairs. You know what I think. Trade those
scoopers in for... yep.. shovels. To serve AND protect.
Brewer lures drinkers with promise of youth The owners of the brewery worked with researchers in Berlin to create a specially bred seaweed. They then added hot spring water and flavonoids, which they claim are a naturally occurring substance with anti-bacterial powers. The result is a beer that they say is dark but not fishy tasting. What? Fishy tasting? Is that going to be the basis of their ad campaign? Taste great! Less filling! Doesn't taste like fish! Jeez! Are they brewing this stuff in the Bass-O-Matic? "Beer is and always was the healthiest drink," said Fritsche. "Our beer has double the anti-oxidant effect of other beers." All I know is that
if this is true, Norm Peterson just became immortal and shovelers life
expectancy just increased one hundred fold. Wednesday, 16, 2004 Jackson Sees Lawmaker Wearing Spider-Man Mask The Associated Press
is saying that Michael
Jackson stopped by a California congressman's office to ask him why the city of Solvang
didn't have any Taco Bell restaurants.
That is odd enough, but what is even more odd --- the freak showed up wearing a Spider-Man mask. Yours truly takes a shovel gripping offense to that.
After being told that Solvang only has a Subway he said, "I love Taco Bell." After that, Jackson pulled off his Spider-Man mask and apologized to the deputy director for disturbing the office. He was later
spotted at a Taco Bell in another town. I assume he was ordering meals from
the children's menu. This guy needs to be put on a suicide watch. Anonymous
Kidney Donor Wins Va. Lottery A lot of people donate their kidneys but out of the 30,000 donated since 1999 only 214 were donated anonymously. She decided to donate hers after what she saw working as a dialysis technician. "I think if
you do good things for people, good things will happen to you," Mitzi
Nichols of Virginia Beach said during a news conference Tuesday at the
lottery's regional office. Son pleads for kidnapped father's release"You guys are probably fathers," Paul Johnson III told CNN, with 4-year-old Paul Johnson IV on his knee. "Just please let him come home and be a grandfather." Paul Johnson Jr., a
49-year-old from New Jersey who works for Lockheed Martin, was taken captive
by al Qaeda gunmen Saturday. His captors released a four-and-a-half minute Web video Tuesday and threatened to kill Johnson within 72 hours if their demands were not met. This is a lengthy
story if you want to go read it. I put it up to ask a question. Why don't we
implant tracking chips in all of these "contractors", so if they are
snatched up we can pinpoint their location and just go get them? We have the
technology to deal with this hostage stuff. Why aren't we using it?
Sheriff investigators' nudity, sex contact dooms prostitution casesAround 60 people
who were arrested last year in a prostitution sting in Maricopa County are
not going to be charged. I have no problem with that because I think
prostitution should be legal. Not that I would participate in it, but it is
a victimless crime so what do I care.
The entire
two month sting was blown because the undercover cops engaged in sex acts.
Sex acts that were caught on videotape!! Idiots! Hello, what part of
surveillance and videotape don't these idiots understand? WHAP! Difficult
circumstances? Umm... hello? Is this guy saying that a prostitute and a
video camera are just too much of an aphrodisiac for his officers to do
their jobs? Give me a shovel!
Tuesday, 15, 2004 Jenna Bush's Bodyguards Rumble in Spain This story is still
sort of sketchy, but apparently Jenna was
vacationing with some friends over there in the city of Tarifa. She didn't
press charges and the two guys were not arrested. Iran massing troops on Iraq border Apparently Iran has loaded up four battalions of
troops on the border of Iraq in hopes that we are going to pull our troops
out. I have been telling you guys to keep an eye on Iran. Two weeks from today we are going to turn over
sovereignty to Iraq. This is going to be a very nasty two weeks, so get
ready for it. There will be a lot of deaths. The press will use it to bash
President Bush, which means they will make it seem worse than it actually
is. It is going to be bad, but it is something that has to happen. Stay
resolute! Shovel up!
WHITE HOUSE ANGER AFTER TIME MAGAZINE DETAILS LOCATION OF CHENEY'S 'SECRET BUNKER' Way to go Time magazine. In its new edition these idiots detailed the location of Vice President Cheney's secret bunker. I'm not going to put the locations information on here. Cheney spent a huge amount of time in that bunker during 2001. I can't remember exactly why, but there was something that happened. Something. It was airplanes or something. No wait it was Halliburton!! No....it was...do you remember September?Anyway, everyone
raise a shovel in thanks. Thank you, Time! Now we will have to spend God
only knows how many millions of dollars building a new bunker so that our
enemies won't know where the Vice President is. Time should have to pick up
the tab for it. Dolts! One unnamed White House official had an angry quote that I just love! "TIME magazine would have revealed the secret location of Anne Frank, if they knew it." Oh yes! SWING ON!
For those of you who don't know, Anne Frank and her family were forced into
hiding during the Holocaust. They hid for a little over two years before
someone gave them up to the Nazi's. Soon after she died of typhus in a
concentration camp, just weeks before that camp was liberated. She was only
15. Anyway, she kept a diary of their times in hiding and that diary has now
been published in over 60 languages.
Hoffman: C-Word Once 'Term Of Endearment' Here is one for my lady shovelers. The president of the University of Colorado, a female, said in a sworn deposition that the C-word wasn't always a slur. She was being questioned in a sexual harassment suit filed against three football players. Hmmmm.... I guess this chick puts money <in this case football revenues> over common decency. Trust me guys, the money from football is the ONLY reason she said this. She knows where the bread is buttered. When asked if it could ever be used in a polite context, Hoffman replied, "Yes, I've actually heard it used as a term of endearment." Term of
endearment??!!? Right. I've heard that too. Like, "Hey, you sure do look
pretty in that dress, c**t.", "You are the most beautiful c**t that I have
ever laid my eyes on.", "Happy anniversary, my little c**t.", "I want to
take you to dinner, my sweet little c**t."
Another person at the school is actually trying to take up for her by saying that she thinks that way because she is a medieval scholar and the word dates back to the 1300s. That Chaucer used the word in The Canterbury Tales. GRIP!!!! Shut up! I wonder if the National Organization of Women will go after this lady. I am going to bet no, because she is part of the liberal academia. This whole thing is a crock. If the guy wasn't a football player, how long do you think he would last on campus if he walked past Lady Hoffman and said, "Nice to see you, c**t."? Sorry, I gotta run,
I just saw a new story about Hillary.
Va. Tells Men: No Sex With Young Girls In Richmond they
are actually putting up billboards asking, "Isn't she a little young?"
My God! 13 and
14!!???
On napkins in
bars?? How about you try this..... sit down and have a family dinner or two
every now and then you bunch of freaks! You can tell the kids while you are
at the dinner table! JEEEEEEEZZ! Did a message on a napkin ever stop anyone
from trying to cop a feel? Go away government! Your ideas are so freaking
moronic!
Snakes hold no sting for Indian
mountain man bitten 272 times
This is a story
from New Delhi about a ninety-two-year-old man who lives in a Himalayan
village in India.
Public Security
Minister Ratnasiri Wickremanayake tried to free a dove as a peace symbol at
the launch of multinational UN peacekeeping exercise Saturday, but the bird
was already dead. So, since the
bird was dead, the guy just followed the usual UN protocol and waved his
middle finger at America. I wonder if they will try and blame the birds
death on Halliburton? Man charged with microwaving pet cat A story from New Zealand. The SPCA has laid charges against a 21-year-old South Aucklander who, it says, killed a cat by putting it in a microwave oven. Auckland SPCA Senior Inspector Bruce Wills said the man was at the cat owner's house drinking and placed the two-year-old ginger and white female cat in the microwave. The owner, who was
in bed, heard screeching noises from the kitchen. She went to investigate
and found her cat in the microwave. The accused man had left, and when the
SPCA arrived, the cat was dead.
I wasn't there. Never met the girl, no one saw me, you can't prove a thing! hahahaa This freak put the cat in there for 2 minutes!! He could get three years. How about one shovel three times? Or nine for each of the cats lives.
Out of tribute there will be no news until next Monday. Thank you for all of the emails. Stand and salute. God bless you President Reagan.
AS THE PRESS TURNS They couldn't turn against President Reagan quick enough, could they? I am compiling a list of links. The digs are very subtle and you may not have picked up on them, but I will point them out. If I get one more Iran Contra email I'm going to freak. I guess I need to explain that to you guys. There is a move on to put President Reagan on the ten dollar bill. Wouldn't it be funny if the picture were of him in his cowboy hat? The libs would freak over that! Tuesday, 08, 2004 No serious news today, Shovelers. We will keep it on the lighter side. I just love it that the media is having to do what they are doing. Isn't it sweet!
METALLICA's
Lars Ulrich has been hospitalised in Switzerland for reasons that are at
this time unknown to the general public, forcing the band to show up to
their Download Festival performance in the UK sans their skinsman.
The article doesn't
tell why he was hospitalized, but isn't it odd that
he was HOSPITALIZED before a Download event? Somebody had better start
questioning the creator of Napster! And, the Number One Reason to Read Books Is... There is a
new campaign going on in Britain. Penguin Books is offering $1,837 to guys
who are spotted reading the selected book of the month. The cash is going to
be delivered by a sexy model. "It's to sex up the book industry, which probably needs it, but also to address the more serious issue that reading has fallen off the radar of younger men," said Neil Griffiths. If you have to have an incentive to read, you should grab a shovel and go Lizzy Borden on yourself. The money isn't going to help The story also says that a poll showed that 85 percent of women said a man could increase his chances of getting a date by talking about a favorite book. Hmmm.... What if his favorite book is the Dr. Seuss classic HOP ON POP ?
Bald Is Hair Color in Montana The freaks in Montana have bald as an option for
your hair color when you sign up for a fishing license. I guess it falls
somewhere between blonde and sandy and I just shaved me head so I could join
the militia. "The Department of Fish, Wildlife and Parks doesn't keep track of how many people admit to being folliclely challenged", said Neal Whitney, one of the agency's computer specialists. Yes they do. The government makes a point of keeping track of things that don't matter.
Hasselhoff arrested on suspicion of DUI David Hasselhoff
was arrested over the weekend on suspicion on driving while intoxicated,
police said Monday. Sources tell me he told the police that the car could drive itself. K.I.T.T. claimed that David had agreed to be the designated driver for the evening and Pamela Anderson said, "I have stuff that the CDC won't even mess with." We will keep a
shovel on it.
Monday, 07, 2004
This man is the reason that I have an interest in politics - or should I say OUR country. I turned a political ear when he came along. He spoke of how great he thought America was, but added that he thought it could be so much better. Contrast that with how todays politicians tell you how bad America sucks and that it will suck even worse if you don't elect them. Sickening. Shovel gripping sickening! I picked this picture because of the look on President Reagan's face. It is an "I need to do something about that" look. I am loving the fact that the media has to report positively {factually} and not negatively about him right now. Do you remember when he would just wave his hand and shake his head like he couldn't hear the presses questions? TRUST ME, they are sitting in their news rooms wringing their hands over that. Believe me, if they thought they could get away with it, the headline w |
The reporter goes on..... 
story
from yesterday. It turns out that the whore is married. She has been been
married for less than a year and claims that her husband just can't perform.
Anyway, pictures of this whore and her idiot husband are starting to
surface. More to follow, guys. This is going to get obnoxious, but, I
imagine it will die pretty quickly. After all, the press has to worry about
panties on the heads of terrorist! 
felony
charges for "allegedly" having sex with a 14-year-old male student. This is
an actual story, not a letter to the Penthouse Forum. Read the full report,
from our friends at the
grandkids have gotten loose while vacationing in the sunshine state. 
Hadassah hospital told Israel Radio. "Luckily,
the snake injected its venom into the diaper on coming into contact with it
and most of the poison did not penetrate the skin. 
The story
says he climbed over to retrieve a shoe and in the process fell. They don't
tell us if it was his shoe, and if it was, how it got there. 
accident?> straining a neck swimming in a pond and a straining a back while
standing for the national anthem. {Pat Tillman you aren't!!!}
Hay,
67, is a traditional medicine practitioner from southern Kien Giang
province, some 220 miles southwest of Ho Chi Minh City. He provides free
treatment to villagers in the region.
The
Pope isn't happy with Madonna because of her member ship with Kabbalah which
is some freak show off shoot of
Judaism. Madonna has also taken on the Jewish name Esther. 
This guy crashed his van and the
towing company that towed the car from the crash scene will not let him have
his wheelchair back until he pays the $120 towing fee. He doesn't have the
money and they are adding $15 a day to the charge. 
Fidel is obviously off of his
meds. Lets be honest guys. I could toss each of you a shovel and say,
"Follow me!", and we could take Cuba and be back in time to get a good seat
at happy hour. 
removing
about 53,000 cubic feet of the plant everyday, but it has already covered
4.6 billion cubic feet of the lake. Venezuela is spending about $2 million
a month for cleanup. I'm telling you, convince Tommy that you can get a buzz
from smoking it and you'll get your cleanup for free.
A
girl wearing an inflatable cone suit in front of a Utah Dairy Queen was
suddenly tackled for no apparent reason. The suit prevented her from
actually seeing who did it, but I think they are looking at a few
Halliburton employees because we all know that big oil hates big ice cream.
a couple of guys attempted to steal a cell phone from a table next to
Jenna's. The secret service reacted immediately and ended up in a fist fight
with the two hoodlums. One of the perps got a full knuckle sandwich and then
the guns came out. 
It
is part of a campaign to try and discourage men from having sex with
underage girls. 13 and 14 year old girls! What the hell is wrong with you
freaks in Virginia? From 99 to 2000 there were 219 births by girls
aged 13 and 14. 13 and 14!!!! And it wasn't "men" who were
impregnating it was18 year olds! 
He
picks up snakes because he likes them. He has been bitten 272 times. 272
times! He claims that he has survived each bite because of a tip he learned
over 50 years ago -which was.... never eat salt. Here is another tip... just
from me... STOP PICKING UP SNAKES! I will bet you that little tip will work
WAY more than 272 times.
