The other big names? Female boxer Laila Ali, the winners of the reality show "The Amazing Race 5" and out-of-tune "American Idol" loser William Hung.

"The parade used to be huge — a million people would come and there were huge stars," said Michael Levine, author and publicist to the stars. "But today there's no sense of obligation to anyone except yourself and the immediate. It's a shame. The celebrities are missing a great opportunity."

Hello? They don't see it that way! The celebrities are a bunch of self absorbed jackasses!  They don't care to mingle with the ticket purchasing plebeians. Personally, I think they should all be beat with a shovel. The Walk of Fame guru was asked to help out, but he doesn't have high hopes.

"I'm not sure we have the caliber stars today that we had back in the era of the golden days of Hollywood. It has changed drastically," Grant said. "Today the young kids are making a lot of money and they hop the charter jet to Miami or the ski slopes or wherever."

Grant hopes that with more publicity, the parade will return to its glory days, when he could call the biggest Hollywood names directly and ask them to appear. In those days, he said, celebrities would fight to be in the parade because it was a sign they had arrived.

"Arnold Schwarzenegger told me once that he spent his first night in Hollywood sitting on the curb watching the Hollywood Christmas Parade and wondering if he would ever get in it," Grant said.

The first parade was held in December of 1928 by merchants on Hollywood Boulevard who wanted to drum up holiday business. In 1946, Gene Autry heard all the children along the parade route screaming for Santa Claus. That inspired him to write "Here Comes Santa Claus."

The parade has been held every year except for 1930 and three years during World War II.

It was stopped for a world war. Today it would be stopped if one of those thespian freaks gets a hang nail. Hollywood is a joke and that is going to become more evident over the next few years.

Cheese 'can be as addictive as morphine'

An American doctor has claimed that cheese can be as addictive as morphine.

He says: "There's a biochemical reason many of us feel we can't live without our daily fix.

"Cheese, for example, contains high levels of casein, a protein that breaks apart during digestion to produce morphine-like opiate compounds, called casomorphins."

Would that be doctor Mike Shanahan?????

15 Fans, 4 Police Officers injured after brawl with Kenny Rogers' Bodyguard

At least 19 people -- including four Hazelton police officers -- have been injured in an incident involving a bodyguard hired to protect country star Kenny Rogers at a book signing this evening. Hazelton Police report that a book signing this evening at Barrett's Books on South Main Street became violent when a female fan of Rogers' asked the singer to sign a part of her body. According to police, the fan became insistent and refused to leave the line when asked by one of Rogers' staff members. Another fan, reportedly a friend of the female in question, began an altercation with the staff member which escalated into a full blown brawl.

Kenny said, "You have to know when to hold them, know when to fold them. Know when to walk away and know when to run."

Geez!! Ok, guys! Hunt me down and beat me with a shovel for that cheesy comment! My deepest apologies. 

Lion eats livestock, farmers eat lion

Villagers took revenge on a lion that killed their livestock by barbecuing and eating it, Zimbabwe's state-owned Sunday Mail newspaper says.

"It ate our animals, so it is only fair that we eat it too," a villager said. The paper said some believed they would get lion-like bravery and strength from the meat.

The lion - part of a pride that terrorized the Zimbabwean village for more than six months - was shot dead by parks authorities.

We are still checking to see if Elton John will be stopping by to sing, "Circle Of Life"

“For Afro-Americans, this is very important, this is as important as the turkey almost, with some cornbread with them," said Pat Smith.

Costen reported the collards were taken from Smith's garden.

"All I know -- he said his name was William. Whoever you are Mr. William I want to thank you very much, and if there are more people like you the world would be a better place. I thank you again for the greens."

The 34-year-old dolphin held at Japan's largest aquarium in the southern island of Okinawa wears the rubber fin for about 20 minutes a day allowing her to jump and to swim at the same speed of other dolphins.

In a related story, busy scientist have yet to find a cure for cancer.  WHAP!!

Several Chilean and American agents got into a pushing and shoving match outside the cultural center where the dinner was held. The incident happened after Bush and his wife, Laura, had just posed for pictures on a red carpet with the host of the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation summit, Chilean President Ricardo Lagos and his wife, Luisa Duran.

As Bush stepped inside, Chilean agents closed ranks at the door, blocking the president's agents from following. Stopping for more pictures, Bush noticed the fracas and turned back. He reached through the dispute and pulled his agent from the scrum and into the building.

The president, looking irritated, straightened his shirt cuffs as he went into the dinner.

HAHA. Can you say, don't screw with me? I love it! I guess there is nothing like being a bodyguard for your own bodyguards, huh? I think President Bush was just showing these guys the finer points of his, "Bring it on!" policy! WHAP! Imagine what would have happened if he had had his shovel on him!.

This is what I love about President Bush - he wouldn't ask anyone to do something that he wasn't willing to do. Hoorah!

A Thai house painter cut off the penises of two teenagers with a knife after he found out they had stolen 50,000 baht (676 pounds) of his savings from an ATM machine, police say.

Manit Srithammathan, 40, told police the teenagers, now in hospital, deserved the punishment as they had betrayed his kindness in letting them stay at his Bangkok suburban house, they said on Saturday.

How appropriate that this should come to us from Bangkok, huh?

"There's nothing they deserved more for stealing the money I saved that could have helped me get a job abroad," a police spokesman quoted him as saying.

The painter, facing charges of life-threatening assaults and unlawful confinement, said he could not control his rage as the boys, aged 14 and 15, refused to confess to the theft which he discovered after checking a video record kept by the bank.

A woman's skeleton with a shiny set of teeth that survived after 9,000 years has been nicknamed Julia Roberts by archeologists because of her perfect teeth.

According to Ananova, preserved remains of cattle bones and wheat found near her body in Ohoden in northwest Bulgaria show her diet was similar to what many people eat today in less developed areas of the world, but her teeth were far superior.

Are they sure that they didn't unearth Mr. Ed? Their smiles are very similar.

The archeologist said that they were the nicest teeth that they had ever came across. Hundreds of men made a similar claim about Julia's choppers.

A Russian man who collects beer cans has turned his collection to practical use.

Just a thought, guys. Our troops have almost cleaned Fallujah out. They found, among other things, torture rooms. Rooms where American hostages were not only held and tortured, but also beheaded. How many times has the liberal press ran the pictures of those rooms on the nightly news? How many times have they pointed them out? How many special reports have they done on them? How many times have they questioned what went on in those rooms? How many times have they wanted to get to the bottom of what happened there?

Let me tell you, it is close to less than zero!

Now, compare that to the feeding frenzy they had with the Abu Ghraib photos. We saw them on every channel, every minute of every day! WHAP! They called it torture. I call having to listen to their slant torture!

Cut a head off and you are basically a blip on the liberal medias radar. Cover a head in underwear and you have just committed a human atrocity for which their is no forgiveness!  No bias there, huh? No slant.

How much coverage would a terrorist putting panties on the head of a captured American POW get? None! And if it did, the damn liberals is the press would not only never dream of calling it "TORTURE", they would spin it to make it look like it was a deserved end to some American policy.  

WHAP!!! WHAP!!!!! Ughhh...  Sorry. Got off on a tangent. Have I ever mentioned to you guys that I despise the mainstream media?

Outspoken Liberal MP booted from caucus

A liberal got booted? I thought there were laws against that. Anyway, this MP, Carolyn Parrish, was thrown out of the Liberal caucus because her behavior had become "unacceptable." It seems that not only did she refuse to tone down her criticisms of President Bush when the party leaders asked her, but she also informed them that they could "go to hell" if he didn't like her behavior. The final straw was this picture of her stomping on a Bush doll.

I want to salute the Democrats for finally showing a set and drawing a line as to what is acceptable disagreement and what is just profane ignorance. Let me say that I am proud of them for doing the right thing and.....  ummm... hold on. I jumped the shovel here. This caucus wasn't a United States caucus. It was the Liberal caucus of .... sit down, get a grip.... of, of CANADA!!! WHAP!!!!

Can you believe that? Canadian liberals showing more sack than Democrats.... errrr -- I mean American liberals! Lets be honest about it, guys. Here in our country the Dems would make this chick the head of the party. Nancy Pelosi would be walking her dog and Ted Kennedy would be polishing her shoes.

Prime Minister Paul Martin, was the one who decided that enough was enough and fired her.

"I told her that, while I have defended her right to express her views frankly, I cannot, as leader of our party and the government caucus, tolerate behavior that demeans and disrespects others," he said. "It is unacceptable. There are better, more civil and more effective ways to make your case than those she has chosen."

The move by Mr. Martin removes an embarrassing figure from his party, reducing the chance that George W. Bush will be heckled from the government benches if the U.S. President addresses Parliament when he comes to Ottawa at the end of the month.

The move also continues the embarrassing proclivity of the French to surrender. At least this guy has the mental fortitude to acknowledge that is isn't good to whap off his countries bodyguard.

Thursday, 18, 2004

Car Dealer Arrested For Offering Discounts For Sexual Favors

Police have arrested a Seminole County car dealer who was allegedly demanding sexual favors from buyers in exchange for lower prices.

They arrested this car salesman, Michael Campbell, after he offered an undercover cop a discount in exchange for sexual favors.

Look at this clod. Anything involving this guy and sex, has definitely been the result of a favor, or large amounts of cash! Why do I get the feeling that this freaks profile might include the words, "I enjoy lunging at people"?

Anyway, shoveling on, he offered her a $100 discount on a car if she would go into a back room at the dealership and take off her clothes.

The sting was setup after a chick notified the police that Campbell had offered her a $1,000 discount on a car if she would have sex with him.

Jackasses like this guy cause me to grab my shovel and start a one-man riot!

TiVo Will No Longer Skip Past Advertisers

When it debuted in 1999, TiVo revolutionized the TV experience by wresting control of screen time from advertisers, allowing viewers to record shows and skip commercials. TiVo's slogan said it all: "TV your way."

I knew those TiVo people had something up their sleeve, because there was just no way that this nifty little idea could last. Everything you watch is pay-per-view. <Especially strippers, but that is a totally different story.> Anyway, everything is pay-per-view - it just depends on your viewing choice as to who the payee is.

90% of the time the persons flipping the bill for you to be able to sit back on your couch and marinate your brains in a stream of mindless TV shows are the sponsors. {I.E. the advertisers.} These guys pay big bucks to get their products in the public eye. They wouldn't consider paying big money to advertise on a channel that no one watched anymore than they would consider paying for advertising that their target audience could simply skip by pressing a button. 

Anyway, it turns out that the TiVo people were selling the advertisers a different slant than they were selling the viewers. They sold the viewers on the concept of commercial free viewing while promising the advertisers that a new way of advertising was just down the road. They were pushing the idea of advertising within advertising.

The result is a groundbreaking new business strategy, developed with more than 30 of the nation's largest advertisers, that in key ways circumvents the very technology that made TiVo famous. By March, TiVo viewers will see "billboards," or small logos, popping up over TV commercials as they fast-forward through them, offering contest entries, giveaways or links to other ads. If a viewer "opts in" to the ad, their contact information will be downloaded to that advertiser — exclusively and by permission only — so even more direct marketing can take place.

I hate pop ups! Trust me Shovelers, I will never allow pop ups on our page. Also, I will never allow underhanded advertising sign up for the shovel newsletter now  on this page. Any advertisements on this page sign up for the shovel newsletter now  will be relegated to the the area where I have all my other ads. I will never allow sign up for the shovel newsletter now  this sort of shameless promotion. I think the man who created pop up ads should be pulled out into cyber lands backyard, called a few foul names and then beaten like a piñata with a shovel.

Bulgarian seeks redress over gay pig

Ned Beatty could not be reached for comment.

Bulgarian farmer Galen Dobrev is claiming substantial damages from the breeder who sold him a prize-winning pedigree pig after the porker turned out to be a little more pink than the average Babe, Ananova reports. An outraged Dobrev told the court where he is sueing the breeder: "It's a disgrace, all he was interested in was other male pigs."

Do I go after the easy jokes here, guys? Nah, just read it and laugh. And I mean laugh!

Dobrev has deployed a range of expert witnesses - in the form of fellow farmers - and photographic evidence to prove the 220lb boar's homosexuality. He lamented that when the pig had been outed he proved impossible to sell, forcing a premature termination and conversion into sausages. For his part, the breeder claims that had Dubrov waited until the pig reached sexuality maturity, he would have come around to the delights of rubensesque sows.

Wednesday, 17, 2004

PETA Campaign Pitches Fish As Smart

Touting tofu chowder and vegetarian sushi as alternatives, animal-rights activists have launched a novel campaign arguing that fish — contrary to stereotype — are intelligent, sensitive animals no more deserving of being eaten than a pet dog or cat.

Intelligent? I can blow that theory right out of the water! Here we go...... You can have a school of, say, 20 fish hanging out and swimming around below a dock. You can put a worm on your hook, drop it in the water and one of them will swim up and try to swallow the thing. Now, that act alone isn't reason enough to call them stupid - I mean tie a bag of pork rinds to a sting and lower it into Rosanne Barr's general vicinity and you will get the same reaction.

What makes them stupid is that they will watch the worm fall in, apparently from no where, and then they will watch their buddy swim over and begin to chow down on the tasty treat. They will then watch as their friend nearly has his lips yanked off as he is pulled out of their world, never to be seen again. Right after that, and this is where the proof of stupid comes in, you can drop the worm back in and another fish will, after witnessing what just happened to his friend, swim up and take a bite. Stupid!

Actually, I think you would get this same sort of result if you cloned Michael Moore, stuck all the clones in one room and replaced the worm with a bacon stuffed cheese cake! But that is another story for another time.

"Fish are so misunderstood because they're so far removed from our daily lives," said Karin Robertson, 24, the Empathy Project manager and daughter of an Indiana fisheries biologist. "They're such interesting, fascinating individuals, yet they're so incredibly abused."

Misunderstood? What in the hell does that mean? So far removed from our daily lives? Could you imagine being stuck in a room with this chick for more than 2 seconds? Karen, with an I. She finds fish to be such interesting and fascinating individuals. Individuals? Are we about to see a new hyphenated American? Are gilled-Americans the next identity to come down the pike? WHAP!!!!!!!

Friedrich questioned why there is popular support for sparing marine mammals — dolphins and porpoises — yet minimal concern for species like tuna, "whose suffering would warrant felony animal cruelty charges if they were mammals."

My God!!! Shut up with the cruelty charges! There is one thing about his statement that hits on something that I have been questioning since the very inception of dolphin friendly tuna. That is -- why do they scream bloody murder at the death of one dolphin, but 10 zillion dead tuna doesn't even raise an eyebrow with them? 

I know why and you know why - it is because they have an agenda. Tuna do not make good spokespersons for animal rights. Tuna make good spokespersons for white bread, mayonnaise and, of course, chunks of dead tuna that you plan to slap together and then jam down your feed hole. Those nuts can't run their animals rights agenda on that image. So they say screw the tuna! Go after the fish that can jump through a hoop and looks cute doing it.

MADDENING!!!! Do your part to make fish a part of your daily lives today, guys. Go get a fish sandwich and chew it real slow!

Tuesday, 16, 2004

Mexico Fines Woman For Bungling National Anthem

If there was any part of the Mexican culture that we should consider adopting, this is it. The Mexican government just fined a woman $40 for screwing up while singing Mexico's national anthem before a soccer game. We should start punishing all of the entertainers here in our country who butcher our National Anthem.

I think 40 bucks is far too little of a punishment though. I say 40 whacks with a shovel and then lock them in a room with Keanu Reeves for 40 straight hours.

Guadalupe Madrigal acknowledged she got the words wrong while singing before an Oct. 30 soccer match between teams from Guadalajara and Monterrey, Mexico's Interior Department announced Saturday in a written statement. "She indicated she was sorry to have sung the national anthem poorly," the department announced. "She indicated that she did not do it on purpose or with bad intentions, but recognized that she had made a mistake."

Guadalupe? I didn't know they actually still named people Guadalupe over there? Man, talk about setting someone up to be stereotyped. I wonder if they give you a burrito with that birth certificate?

Man Sets Himself Ablaze at White House

A man set himself afire Monday just outside a White House gate and repeatedly yelled "Allah Allah" after Secret Service officers put out the flames and one held him facedown on the sidewalk.

A rumor has it that a Democrat National Committee card was found in his wallet. I'm still looking into that.

New Group Fighting For Better Toilets

A newly-formed group called the North American Restroom Association (NARA) is fighting for better toilets -- and more of them -- across the U.S.

Co-founder Steven Soifer -- who also runs an organization for "pee-shy" types who clam up in public restrooms -- says the main mission is to increase the number of public toilets so a person doesn't have to walk any more than five minutes to find one.

He'd also like to see an end to the urinal "troughs" in some men's bathrooms and the construction of floor-to-ceiling dividers to ensure privacy between urinals.

NARA just started in September, but is already becoming a force in the world of toilet reform. Representatives will be presenting their proposals at the World Toilet Summit in Beijing Nov. 17-19.

A force in the world of toilet reform? What does that mean?? We have too many people with too much time on their hands.

Monday, 15, 2004

The key to a successful burglary? Try the French police

A swindler posing as the owner of a jewelry store outside Paris managed to steal a set of luxury pens and watches with the unwitting help of local police and a locksmith, police said on Saturday

Booty? Who uses that word in that context any more? Hey Frenchy French man... over here in America you don't flee with the booty, you get the booty and then flee. The locksmith identified the guy and the cops were able to catch him at his apartment where they also found most of the stolen J Lo.

Employees readying class-action lawsuit against EA

Following a tip from an informed source, GameSpot contacted attorney Robert C. Schubert, a partner at the San Francisco law firm Schubert & Reed. He said that he has initiated legal proceedings to start a class-action lawsuit on behalf of a group of EA employees. "We are seeking unpaid overtime for a good number of [EA] employees who weren't [properly] paid," Schubert told GameSpot this afternoon. "EA contends they were exempt," Schubert said. "We contend otherwise."

GameSpot is a publication for video game enthusiast - Or, as we like to call them, "men over the age of 25 who have never gotten laid."

To recover the money they feel is owed to them, said employees are trying to file a class-action lawsuit against EA seeking overtime pay. On July 29, the complaint Jamie Kirschenbaum vs. Electronic Arts, Inc. was filed in San Mateo Superior Court.

In defense, EA immediately responded by naming spokesperson Ray Lewis as the new head of their Human Relations/Payroll department. Dexter King was going to protest EA's actions, but, having never worked a day in his life he had a problem grasping the concept of just what overtime actually is. 

Officer shoots ranting man

Don't worry, guys, it wasn't me! :):) hahaha

Even as he lay on the sidewalk with two bullet wounds in his body, the man continued his angry, nonsensical rant. "Stop talking!" he screamed, according to witnesses. "Why won't everybody just stop talking!"

I sympathize with the guy. I have screamed those same words when the voices in my head decide to chat amongst themselves. I really hate the one who incessantly ask, "Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now?"  Man, if I ever manage to get a shovel on him, I am going to... Sorry, misplaced my mind for a moment there.

Back to the story: This omniscient pillar of society, William Cobb, was shot outside his apartment Friday morning because he wouldn't drop his wooden martial arts sword. The officer asked him to put it down three times before squeezing the trigger. Willy survived the shooting, so apparently this cop and his weapon need a little quality time together at the firing range! Shoot to kill! Or as we shovelers like to say, Swing to kill!

The shooting ended a violent ordeal that began in a first-floor hallway at the Cedar Pointe apartment complex, 731 S. 300 East, about 1:15 a.m.  Susie Van'tland said she was fed up with the noise coming from across the hallway, where Cobb, armed with an ancient samurai weapon known as a bokken, was apparently trying to pry open his apartment door.

Van'tland said she asked Cobb to be quiet. He allegedly responded by lifting the sword at her in a spearing motion. Van'tland's fiancee, Hugh Flemister, then confronted his neighbor, only to be struck three times with the sword. A wrestling match ensued, followed quickly by the arrival of a Cedar Pointe security guard, whose presence apparently prompted Cobb to flee.

Obviously this ladies fiancée is a bit of a poodle walking nancy boy. It is a wooden sword, for crying out loud! He should have yanked the thing out of that freaks hands, laughed and then went Walking Tall on him with it. WHAP! By the way, why didn't he have his shovel on him? Maybe because it didn't go with the sweater that was hanging around his neck?

Anyway, there are a couple more funny quotes from this story.

Minutes later, a woman on her way to pick up a pack of cigarettes at a nearby convenience store was confronted by the man. By this time, she said, he was "rambling on and screaming about Satan."

What is wrong with that? Pat Robertson makes millions doing it every day.
  
Recently, though, Cobb had placed a notice in the community laundry room to say he was selling off many of his possessions, including a blender, DVD player and couch. Flemister had made arrangements to buy the couch. "It's really all too bad," he said, "because I really wanted that couch."

What a jackass. In other words, "Hey, take her - I just want a place to sit and sip my tea.

Jack Daniel biographer disputes long held legend of the famous whiskey

Jack Daniel's whiskey is liquor built on a legend: an Old No. 7 label, a recipe crafted at the nation's oldest distillery and a medal signifying it as the best whiskey in the world.

But the author of a Jack Daniel biography contends the company that runs the famed distillery has allowed that legend to grow so much that marketing spin has overtaken the facts, and that some of the most cherished notions about the whiskey and its founder are simply not true.

Cherished notions? What a wordsmith! Cherished notions. Give me a break! Here is a notion for the author of this story to cherish: sip just enough, you will feel all warm and fuzzy. Sip too much, and you and your cousin will never look at a family shindig the same way again.

Normally I like to hear the story behind the story, but judging from this article that isn't what this biographer does here. The way this review reads, it would appear that this book is nothing more than a litany of he said/she said references. No facts, just one in provable claim after another. In other words, it is a John Kerry campaign speech. WHAP!!

There are some interesting claims in the article -- such as. ummm.. well, I forget. Anyway, I want some facts, so I forwarded the story on to The Shovel's resident Jack Daniels expert,  Van Halen's Michael Anthony. I will let you guys know what he says.   

'The Tsunami’ Takes $10,000 Krystal Square Off Cash Prize

Japan’s Takeru “The Tsunami” Kobayashi set a new world hamburger-eating record Saturday by consuming 69 Krystal hamburgers in eight minutes to win the inaugural Krystal Square Off World Hamburger-Eating Championship in Chattanooga.

“69 Krystals in eight minutes is astounding. Kobayashi is, without a doubt, the greatest eater ever to live upon planet earth,” said David Baer of the International Federation of Competitive Eating.

The greatest eater ever? Calm down and get a grip on yourself, man. What does that mean exactly?  Greatest eater ever. Have you taken a look at Michael Moore lately? Is there anyone better at eating than that ball cap wearing hippo?

Sonya “The Black Widow” Thomas, the 102-pound phenom from Alexandria, VA, took second place and $5,000 by eating 46 Krystal hamburgers and rounding out third for $2,500 was Richard “The Locust” LeFevre of Henderson, NV, with 41 Krystal hamburgers.

Hold on. A girl downed 46? Sweet! I don't know about you guys, but nothing turns me on more than a girl with 46 beef patties in her belly.  Sexy! YAK! The funny thing here is that these super swallowers actually give themselves nicknames. How inane! How about this as a nickname? John "The vocational failure who wouldn't have any sort of a life were it not for the fact that the world is full of idiots who have nothing better to do than stand around and watch other idiots cram food into their chew holes" Doe.  Well, maybe that is a bit wordy for a nickname. I'll work on it.

Friday, 12, 2004

It is Friday - our troops are over in Fallujah shoveling the terrorist straight to hell, Yasser Arafat is still dead, it doesn't look like Michael Bolton will be making a comeback anytime soon, and we are free to gather here and discuss the finer points of shoveling. ALL IS RIGHT IN THE WORLD!  

Bill Maher Hit With Palimony Suit

If this guy ever got within striking distance of me the headline would read "Bill Maher hit with Shovel" I can not stand this zero-talented waste of carbon! I hope he wakes up gay!

This jackass was handed a $9 million palimony suit by his ex-girlfriend. She is alleging that he physically, and verbally abused her with "insulting, humiliating and degrading racial comments."

Racial? No! Not Mister Politically Correct! Practice what you preach, Dick. I mean, Bill. What a phony! This guy has never made me laugh, not even back in the days when he was just doing stand up. How he got his foot in the political door is beyond me. Well, I take that back - it isn't. He is a left wing moron and carrying that card will get you anywhere that you want to go in Hollywood. Want to make me laugh, Billy boy? Do some impersonations. Maybe get out on a ski slope and give us your Sony Bono impersonation. I bet you would be dead on with that one.

Wow. He is a real man isn't he? I would love to play a game of paper, hammer, SHOVEL with this clown. Look at that humongous beak of his. That is quite an impressive snot-locker he has there! It kind of looks like a shovel, doesn't it? WHAP!! He needs a good beating!

Politician calls for bestiality ban
 

Huh? Let me tell you what the story is here. It is that, as we speak, it is perfectly legal to have sex with animals in Nordland. The story is that it is 2004 and these mongoloids are just now deciding that allowing citizens to have unlawful carnal knowledge with the family pet might not be such a good thing. I thought the opening paragraph said it all and that there was no reason to read on. But I read further anyway, and I am glad I did because it is so ridiculous that it is actually hilarious.

NFAP Nordland's leader, Ann-Carin Torrissen has tried to get other politicians to raise the issue in parliament without success, and believes they are afraid of ridicule. Torrissen took up the fight to outlaw bestiality after getting a phone call from a young girl who had fantasies about having sex with her horse and asked if it was illegal.

A young girl calls to ask if it is ok for her to "mount" her hoarse? What in the world is wrong with those people? Maybe it is just me, but after reading that little bit of info, I think we should make it illegal for Norwegians to have sex with anything! We do not need those freaks procreating.

Ok. One more story - just to wash that vision out of our heads.

Have a great weekend! See you Monday!

Timm

Thursday, 11, 2004

     TO ALL WHO HAVE SERVED - HAPPY VETERANS DAY